SIL is a lot younger than OH and has just had her 1st baby.
A while ago we (OH and I) were in Gretna and joking seriously considering getting married. At the time SIL (to be) sent us a message saying she would never forgive us if we did it without her there. We did not but not really for that reason.
We planned our wedding a year ago, a few months later SIL told us she was PG. I was happy for her but OH had a few lots of reservations about her OH as a month before his mum had phoned (they live with her) saying he had gone off in a jealous rage with her phone and SIL was thinking about ending it (the relationship).
She is also about £30,000 in debt (spent on cars, holidays and now a ridiculous amount of baby stuff) and asked us to help her out last year which we declined to do.
As soon as she said she was pg I was pretty sure she would not make it to our wedding. The family were adamant she would.
Baby arrived 3 weeks ago and when we visited she said they aren't coming as baby will be 10 weeks old and she doesn't want to do a long (5 hours) car journey to us as it's dangerous for the baby to be in the car seat for that long (and I don't think they can afford to come). OH is understandably disappointed as this would wave the first time ever all our families had met.
That's fine that's her choice but now we are getting loads of messages about how gutted she is.
She could come if she wanted to but it's about priorities and make a decision but don't then keep on about how "gutted" you are. I get that babies change your life (I emigrated with a 7 week old) and I understand that she's not coming but FFS.
I just feel a bit sad that she will probably realise it was something she could have done with a bit of planning (like a stop half way) and we are going to hear her lamenting regrets forever.