More of a wwyd?

[Happylandbaby]

On the face of it my in laws are lovely. They have good intentions, are kind, generous, try to be helpful. I’ve always got on well with them.

It’s been difficult since my dd (now a toddler) came along, I just don’t trust them with her.

I’ve tried to be relaxed and let them take her here and there as they have wanted to, but almost every time there has been something.

For example; taking her away for the night and admitting they left her sleeping in hotel room while they went for drinks in the bar. Me walking in and finding her in the kitchen alone with oven on, pans bubbling away on hobs, and dd playing in the knife and fork drawer, with in laws oblivious. Letting her play on the stairs and her falling partway down the stairs. Sitting her on a kitchen stool and her falling off.

These are only a few examples, there are so many others.

My husband has spoken with them numerous times and asked them not to do this or that. I think they see it that they’ve brought up 3 children and know what they are doing. They’ll agree not to do one thing then something else happens.

It’s got to the point I just feel I can’t trust them at all. I’m not perfect and I make mistakes, toddlers hurt themselves, but I trust my instincts and try not to put dd in dangerous situations.

Easy answer is to not have them babysit, but they constantly ask and are hurt when we say no. Plus dh doesn’t 100% back me up and creates situations where I’m put on the spot.

Wwyd?

Forthe record, my in laws don't get the kids unsupervised either, I had to be very clear with DH after MIL wanted to feed toddler DS from a broken glass bottle amonsgt other things (apparently if you can still screw the teat on the bottle it is still ok to use shudders)

At home we’ve got a baby gate on our stairs and one on the kitchen.

It works well with the layout of our house as it stops dd toddling into the kitchen when the pans are on. It also means I can pop in the kitchen during cooking and still see her.

Fil has mocked me for it and said I might as well put her in a cage.

Nope. Wouldn't be happening. I'd rather have a fallout than risk my child's safety. It would be a firm no from me. If fil is going to make comments on your parenting then make them right back - 'we aren't all as blasé as you fil, we have different ideas on what is safe and suitable for a child which is why you babysitting doesn't work for us'.