To not wish to be called OCD?

[BlueButTrue]

Every day I:

Clean my floors with floor wipes (twice a day, more if I see any mark etc).

Wash up as I go.

Make my beds first thing

Hoover all rooms (about 3/4 times a day)

Wash on, put a wash away

Clean kitchen surfaces (3/4 times, more if I'm using kitchen more).

Clean cupboard doors/draws

Hoover sofa

Hoover living room rug (twice)

Wipe down living room surfaces (3/4 times)

Clean toilet (3/4 times a day, sometimes more)

Clean bathroom (about twice a day top to bottom, and little wipe downs etc whenever else).

Empty bin

Wipe down bedroom furniture/dust surfaces

Every other day I:

Steam clean bathroom and kitchen. Sometimes this is every day too.

Hoover behind sofas (will do this each day if any actual messes are created).

Twice a week:

Clean out fridge

Clean inside cupboards

My Nan is apparently "worried" at the extent I'm cleaning, but I think it's healthy and normal. It keeps me calm and makes me happy. I don't believe it's extensive. "Cleaning isn't good for the soul" says DNan.

MIL has hinted I should be checked for OCD.

Personally, I find this quite offensive. OCD is a serious health issue and not one to joke about.

AIBU to clean the way I do and think it's healthy? AIBU to think it's offensive to others who really do suffer that it isn't acceptable to go around, throwing the term 'OCD' about?

I was told an excessively clean house rings alarm bells by a midwife too. maybe she was just trying to make me feel better about my dirty house though 😂.

I guess the test will be when your baby become a toddler and you literally can't keep your house spotless all the time and won't be able to hoover multiple times a day.

I am nowhere near as clean as you but I do get stressed when the house is messy or unclean but have unfortunately had to lower my standards with a 2 year old who is always running around causing chaos.

Do you think you'll find it very stressful if you're not able to do so many chores in the day?

As previously mentioned, I will prioritise bonding with baby and sleeping to cleaning!

Cleaning is just something I adore doing and it gives me a kick. It'll have to take quite the back seat for a while and that's fine. Just like some ladies who go running or whatever will have to give it a back seat for a while.

I think the MW looking out for immaculate houses as a bit of a red alert sign is really unfair. Not every baby screams blue murder every time you put them down. Some are very content and will even let you crack on. Some aren't, and that's fine. Again, it depends what baby you get

A thing to consider - and this is not necessarily proven, but a theory some scientists etc have put forward - excessive cleaning might potentially be part of the reason some children don't develop robust immune systems.

Some say this is a thing, some say it isn't - but it might be worth looking into with regards to the levels of cleaning you decide to do when the baby arrives.

It also might be worth taking note of what cleaning products you're using as some can be quite toxic when overused.

Do you think you'll find it very stressful if you're not able to do so many chores in the day?

No, it's fine. My child comes first. The cleaning is just something that gives me joy. It can wait.

How about taking this as an opportunity to educate these relatives about OCD?

The reason I haven't agreed with everyone's comment and said "okay, I will speak to GP " etc etc, is because I'm not satisfied I meet any type of criteria for OCD apart from cleaning

Cleaning makes me happy and I love doing it. But it does not:

Make me anxious when I can't clean

Upset me when I can't carry out the routine

Interfere with my daily life. As previously mentioned, I can leave the house with a drop of a hat and I don't miss out. I'm rarely ever just at home all day

Make me feel like something bad will happen if I don't clean or do certain tasks.

I don't do it in repetition/count the amount I do things. The numbers I gave were even originally posted as a rough guide. For example, my choice of words being '3/4 times' or 'maybe more if I see it needs doing'

Honestly, cleaning is just like a huge rush to me. I love it. I love looking after my home. If something else in life needs me/presents itself, I'm all for it

You can come clean my house any day, OP!

Orbit If I found it a struggle I would talk to someone

I think spending 4 hours a day in the gym is different though, yes it is also a hobby or what have you but it also can't fit around anything else. Cleaning can, I don't have to leave my home to clean. All I need is at home and these 2 hours certainly aren't chunks, so I am never doing a cleaning session for 2 hours although sometimes I wish I could, but my house doesn't warrant it even though I'd often like to do a deep clean with before and after pictures

When first reading your list in the OP it sounds excessive, but once you explained the timings it all sounds ok. 2 hours a day cleaning doesn't sound too much to me. I also understand the pleasure you get from it, I love a good cleaning session although I don't do it as much as you.

C.O.D looks more symmetrical than O.C.D.

Just keep an eye on it. Especially after you have kids and don’t be afraid to seek counseling if you discovered it is affecting you and everyone else

Could be nesting behaviour?

Wait until the baby arrives. Then you’ll know. If you’re still going it then and neglecting your baby, you have a problem. If you can’t do it because you have the baby and it’s making you distressed then you have a problem.

By the way, cleaning wouldn’t make you anxious if you had OCD. The obsessive and compulsive behaviours are what people use to manage anxiety and help them to feel calm and in control. So the fact that you don’t feel anxious whilst cleaning could still be indicative of an anxiety problem.

The reason I haven't agreed with everyone's comment and said "okay, I will speak to GP " etc etc, is because I'm not satisfied I meet any type of criteria for OCD apart from cleaning

I totally agree with you - you don't seem to meet the criteria.

@BlueButTrue did you read my post about my friend with an overactive thyroid? A lot of what you say reminds me of her.

Completely OTT and obsessive.

I have diagnosed OCD. I'm sorry your family does have a reason to be concerned about you. I didn't realise I had OCD until my children starting displaying symptoms. Turns out I have had OCD for most of my life. Looks like my mother has it too. But being diagnosed was one of the best things I even did as I had CBT - recommend you talk to your dr.

OCD can take many forms. I have a couple of family members diagnosed with it. It is not necessarily an obsession with cleaning, although this is very common.

I do think there are a lot of people with OCD walking about who don't have a diagnosis. Some recognise it in themselves and get this pooh-poohed by others. Others recognise it in those close to them but get a will pooh pooh it themselves. You certainly don't need a formal diagnosis to have it and it seems to be a trend now to discount any thoughts or suspicions about a possible diagnosis even when they are sometimes glaring.

stripy I did indeed, perhaps that's worth looking into it?

BlueButTrue probably worth mentioning. It's the not wanting to sit still and the not sleeping properly that reminds me of my friend.

She didn't get diagnosed for years, she just thought that was what she was like. It was a physical cause, not a mental one. She didn't want to sit still! If it is something like that it's better to catch it earlier ratht then later so can't hurt to mention it.

But I like your descriptions of zen cleaning! I'm so on the opposite end that I know what the other extreme is like and I'd rather be where you are!

Even if you do have an overactive thryoid or something else making you feel you want to keep going, as long as you are taking steps to look after yourself (like mentioning it to the Dr) I don't see the harm in enjoying the experience!

And if you ever get bored, I’ll put you up in my house if you could deep clean everything and help me. Currently drowning under months of unfiled paperwork and general detritus.

No idea when anything last had a deep clean and I employ a cleaner!!!

"Not every baby screams blue murder every time you put them down. Some are very content and will even let you crack on. Some aren't, and that's fine. Again, it depends what baby you get"

That comment worries me, regardless what 'kind' of baby you get they NEED your care, touch and stimulation, it worries me that if you do get a laid back baby you'll feel justified in prioritising the cleaning and if you get a 'screamer' you'll resent them for stopping you from cleaning.

Your comments also indicate you are MASSIVELY underestimating the effect becoming a mother will have on you, do you have any experience of newborns/young babies at all? It's a cliche but true - it turns your WORLD upside down. Physically, mentally, emotionally and practically.

"I'm not satisfied I meet any type of criteria for OCD apart from cleaning".

1 you're not an expert.

2 you actually have made several comments that those of us who DO have some knowledge have recognised as possible indicators that you MAY have OCD

3 the ONLY way you can know is if you speak to a mh professional - seriously - what can it hurt to talk to GP or midwife at least?

You're not finding it a struggle now because you're not being completely prevented from doing it. I too know gym addicts who've really struggled mentally when for various reasons they've had to stop even temporarily.

ittakes2 there is evidence there's a genetic component to OCD. Due to a problem with brain development in utero is one theory. I certainly recognise it on my fathers side of the family.

Again op the only way to know for sure is to speak to a health professional and be assessed.

Your comments also indicate you are MASSIVELY underestimating the effect becoming a mother will have on you, do you have any experience of newborns/young babies at all? It's a cliche but true - it turns your WORLD upside down. Physically, mentally, emotionally and practically

Tbh no one does until they have a child themselves,I include myself in that and I'd had years and years of experience with babies before having ds.

My mother is very very tidy and can't sit still unless everything is clean. (Cups washed up almost before you've finished drinking out of them. Gets down on her knees to remove invisible crumbs.)

I would say it affected her parenting. Certainly my brothers and I were kept in clean clothes and a clean house. We were fed and educated and looked after.

But I would say there was a relationship between her need to have a very tidy home and a lack of engagement. The house had to be kept clean in a way that was time-consuming. So she was more like a kitchen maid/scullery maid/parlour maid/cook combined than a parent. Or as a mother she could be quite cross and/or cold and/or impatient if our demands - for her to talk to us/listen to us/play with us - threatened her cleaning routine. She also became very distressed if we spilled things, leaving me with a feeling that a moment's normal childhood clumsiness was a very bad action on my part.

Your comments also indicate you are MASSIVELY underestimating the effect becoming a mother will have on you, do you have any experience of newborns/young babies at all? It's a cliche but true - it turns your WORLD upside down. Physically, mentally, emotionally and practically

Yes, I do indeed - I raised my DB for the first few years of his life due to very sad reasons I won't go into.

It really wasn't that bad. In fact, I find babies easier to clean up after then older children.

It doesn't turn everyone's 'world' upside down. Some women adjust very easily. Some find it more of a challenge. Both are normal in my opinion.