Dh has been referred for counselling

[florentinasummertime]

However, aibu to think this isn't going to help him as he doesn't trust the counsellor? It seems it is a tick box exercise.

He doesn't have mh issues per se but thanks x

What's up?

What did you mean he had a lot to work through if not mental health issues?

What are you actually talking about here? Is this a wind up? Why can't you just say why his work are sending him?

Sorry. Only just saw.

Because he has been doing things indicative of someone struggling.

Of course it isn't a windup.

You need to take a step back OP. This isn’t for you to get involved in

No I appreciate that.

Struggling in what way op?

Struggling with the job normally results in additional training, not counselling
Struggling mentally results in counselling.

Unless of course he is in a role where he may be traumatised by what he deals with and as such struggling with both.. Is that the case?

Fair dos.

Your husband will do the work that he does. Leaving aside that we don’t know of the quality of the counselling he’s being offered, it’s also important to understand that you can’t ‘make’ someone do therapeutic work. It just isn’t like that

It’s a shame that seeing a councillor is seen as a problem, my late dh was in the army and the idea of welfare being involved was abhorrent and that you wouldn’t move through the ranks,

Just to say the Army Welfare in N.I were lifesavers after my dh died

He is being quite childidh tbh - 'they can't make ms' and so on.

He’s right. They can’t.

If he’s seen to be struggling, then it’s a good employer that’ll take him down the counselling route rather than the disciplinary one. Surely they must feel that he has a MH condition?
I wonder if he realises how lucky he is; apparently not if he’s going to abuse it. It’s up to him though.

I’d bet my last penny his parents were unreasonably controlling.

I don't think they were. His mum definitely wasn't, not sure about his dad. His dad had a temper though.

He’s right, they can’t make him, and he can’t make them keep employing him, so if the situation doesn’t resolve, they can make moves to terminate his employment, demote him or even make him redundant, whatever there is many options available to them Their offer of help only has to go so far before they deal with it in other ways.

If he lost his job due to performance issues, would he be able to find other employement? What would the repurcussions for you be? Do you have kids?

Well I’m sure castatrophising willl help bluntness

We do have children. I think he will go but refuse to engage properly. Just say he was a bit stressed or whatever.