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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To get Christmas gifts in chairty shops?

47 replies

Ohwell14 · 04/10/2017 15:21

My friend things im being horrible and stingy because the stuff is second hand. I got a candle and a bath set today that obviously haven't been used or opened but she made me feel like shit for it.
We are not struggling but I'm on maternity leave at the moment and can't afford to splash out on a lot of things like we did last year. So family (mum, sister, friends etc) will be getting less this year as we won't have much to spare after buying for the kids.
So am I a horrible evil person that I'm being made out to be??Grin

OP posts:
isseywithcats · 04/10/2017 15:50

Not at all i work in a charity shop as a volunteer and you would be amazed how many brand new sealed products we get, ive even bought them as presents for family on occasion, why go to a mains shop and pay extortionate prices when theres one in a charity shop for half the price, in fact when people buy me smellies that i cant use , (sensitive skin) i take them to the shop and hope someone else can buy it and use it ,

Aeroflotgirl · 04/10/2017 15:55

Absolutely fine, give the reviewer things that they like. If you know somebody that likes candles and smellies give it to them. Not if they won't like it.

NamasteTheFuckAwayFromMe · 04/10/2017 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jaseyraex · 04/10/2017 16:00

Sounds fine to me! If you know someone is going to love it then why not? It's not like it's a half burnt out candle and empty bubble bath. I always wander round charity shops for books and love seeing what bargains I can get. Got a gorgeous necklace once for £35, quite an unusual looking one and I gave it a quick google and it was £190 in h Samuel. Still one of my best bargains Grin

AdalindSchade · 04/10/2017 16:01

Why would you let someone make you feel like shit for this? Your ‘friend’ is a knob

LovelyBranches · 04/10/2017 16:03

Your friend would hate me then. I have been stashing gifts for my children for a while. I have a 8 month old and a nearly 3yr old. They aren't into brands and my DS thinks that the charity shop is the best shop in town. Sometimes I feel mean because I'd never really bought in charity shops before having children but some of the items are in perfect condition and have become much loved toys. I don't want to pay 10x the price for the box.

For dd's first birthday I have a happyland style teapot play house. I bought it for £1.50 and it's perfect. My DS recently had an operation and hasn't been able to walk, charity shop dvd's, books and games have been fantastic and they were 4 for a £1.

I have a Halloween sticker book that I bought the other day for 20p. I don't think I'm mean for buying my children things that they are enjoying and I'm planning to donate the toys they don't play with a lot to some of the hospital waiting rooms we've had to use that have shoddy broken toys.

elisaveta · 04/10/2017 16:05

One of the loveliest presents I got last year was a paperback from a charity shop. My lovely friend had put thought into it, knew what I would like, and wrapped it so I had something to open. I loved it. Why on earth would I love it more if I knew it had cost three times more from Waterstones, when I know money's a bit tight at the moment anyway?

elisaveta · 04/10/2017 16:06

Your friend sounds very rude indeed btw.

ilovekitkats · 04/10/2017 16:07

Your friend IBU. A lot of people buy presents from charity shops, as a lot of people give away brand new things that they don't like, after Christmas or Birthdays.

I have bought from charity shops in the past and given as gifts and would happily do so again. If it is brand new then what is the difference between buying a gift set from the charity shop, or from Boots or wherever the original shop was?

SaucyJack · 04/10/2017 16:08

It depends if you all buy token gifts for each other or not.

If you're gifting a candle, and getting a box of Quality Street in return, then it's fine.

I think it's stingy tho to be passing off a £1 charity shop find as a twenty quid present, and accepting a thirty quid present in return (for ex).

Not nice.

CoolCarrie · 04/10/2017 16:11

Your 'friend ' is an idiot. The charity shop are full of bargains, and in January there are always loads of unwanted presents. Recycling is great.

ArcheryAnnie · 04/10/2017 16:14

There's a lot of sense being talked on this thread. There's no downside if you find something nice - either it's new stuff still boxed that is indistinguishable from stuff bought elsewhere, or you get lovely stuff that isn't being made any more, and would cost 10x the price if you called the shop it was sold in "antique shop" or "vintage shop" instead of "charity shop".

ArcheryAnnie · 04/10/2017 16:16

I think it's stingy tho to be passing off a £1 charity shop find as a twenty quid present, and accepting a thirty quid present in return (for ex).

I don't price-value the presents people give me, and I don't buy presents for other people on a quid pro quo basis, so I think this attitude is really strange. I buy things I think the recipient will like.

BroomHandledMouser · 04/10/2017 16:16

YANBU in the slightest!

Just today I picked up a few books and board games which were in fab condition for my children for Xmas.

I always look there before going anywhere else. Cost me a mere £5 for some really decent little bits.

Your friend sounds like a small minded idiot

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 04/10/2017 16:17

What a lovely friend you have!
It doesn't matter at all, a gift is a gift.

TeenyW123 · 04/10/2017 16:20

In our local town there are 2 charity shops right next to each other. I often have a mooch in them when in town.

One day I heard someone say "Happy Birthday". I looked round to see a small boy of about 6 looking really chuffed with a big boxed toy being handed to him. He beamed at the volunteer and said thank you.

I went to the charity shop next door and heard someone say "Happy Birthday". It was the same little boy collecting another big boxed toy.

He probably had twice as many presents as he would have had if they had been bought new.

Unless it was a scam, but it didn't look like it!

Mollyboom · 04/10/2017 16:25

Your friend is a nob. I love a charity shop and how would the recipient know it was from a charity shop? More fool people who pay full price for things. Why anyone would buy ful price baby clothes and toys for small children when charity shops have top quality stock of these.

SaucyJack · 04/10/2017 16:26

"I buy things I think the recipient will like."

Well, that's great for you if you can afford to shop with gay abandon as far as money is concerned- but a lot of people would like to cut down on their Xmas spending.

And personally, I think it's only fair that if you're budgeting 2 or 3 quid per person for other people, then you should let the family know before everyone does their shopping so they know it's cool if they want to rein in their spending too.

milliemolliemou · 04/10/2017 16:40

Totally agree. And it shouldn't be balanced out money for money. If you have relatives/friends earning much more than you, then they shouldn't expect the same from you. Everyone should simply be getting the most suitable they can afford. I'm happy with books and naice soap and anything home made. One of the naicest lot of people I know had a £5 top on presents which might be £10 now. Best present I had recently was a photo of DCs.

ArcheryAnnie · 04/10/2017 16:47

Well, that's great for you if you can afford to shop with gay abandon as far as money is concerned- but a lot of people would like to cut down on their Xmas spending.

I don't have much money, SaucyJack, and I have friends who have even less money than me, and ones who are considerably richer than me. As far as I've been able to make out over the years, we all buy things we think each other will like, and sometimes when I open something, it's a present that I know has just cost a couple of quid, and sometimes I know it's cost considerably more, and both are fine, because they've put the effort into trying to find something they know I'd like, and vice-versa.

I don't think "she'd paid out £3 so i will only buy something for £3". That seems weirdly transactional.

notsmartenough · 04/10/2017 17:08

I volunteer in a charity shop and we have been saving up donated gift sets ready for the run up to Christmas.
We sell loads and I bet more people than you'd imagine do some if not all of their Christmas shopping in charity shops.

SandyDenny · 04/10/2017 17:15

Your friend is stupid, I wouldn't discuss where you buy things from in future.

PotteringAlong · 04/10/2017 17:20

I don't buy toys from charity shops between October and December. The reason being because I can afford to buy them new. I choose not to at other times of the year and then often recycle toys there and take our unused ones back to the charity shop. Love a charity shop bargain.
BUT
There are some people who cannot afford them new. And I would hate to think that a child somewhere didn't have a Christmas present because I had bought up all the bargains.

It's probably daft and, like I said, January to September I'm a charity shop fiend! But not for 2 months a year.

PotteringAlong · 04/10/2017 17:21

That is just toys though. I got two books today. And I appreciate someone might want those so my logic is a bit flawed Blush

gorygloria · 04/10/2017 17:26

Never ever pay more for anything than you have to! Recipent gets a thoughtful gift, you save cash and charity gets a boost. All round win

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