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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To itv text my boss whilst driving?

81 replies

Blueskyblue · 04/10/2017 15:21

Yesterday I got stuck in awful traffic. This doesn't happen often as I usually start work early, but had to wait for kitchen fitters so started an hour later.

Got to work about 20 mins late and boss had a bit of a go that I didn't let her know via text. I explained I was in bumper to bumper traffic and couldn't use my phone (I've only just got rid of six points on my license and don't want to risk getting more)

She replied that "it's a quick text, you're not going to get caught sending a quick text"

I still refuse to do it, regardless of how quick it may be.

Who is being unreasonable, me or her?

OP posts:
GetYourRosariesOffMyOvaries · 04/10/2017 15:50

My phone is always up in a holder and available to take and receive calls when necessary. I don't see the issue with this but texting etc is a different ballgame

mumofmunchkin · 04/10/2017 15:51

Yanbu

It's illegal for a reason. My brother was killed by some jackass using his phone while driving. The law isn't there just to make our life more difficult.

If there is a next time I would take a detour and pull over to text - they've made it clear they expect to be notified, but I certainly wouldn't do it illegally.

SlothMama · 04/10/2017 15:52

If you aren't comfortable texting in case you get in trouble then don't she can't force you.

Siri will work if the phone is locked just say "hey siri"

Outlookmainlyfair · 04/10/2017 15:56

Your HR team would be interested that she is demanding that you do something illegal!

PetitFilous123 · 04/10/2017 15:59

I think if you were actually bumper to bumper not moving for some time you could have switched off your car, applied the handbrake and text...or just voice called your office to explain.

I think the use of the word text is a reed herring, your boss just wanted you to contact her to let her know you were on route

ArcheryAnnie · 04/10/2017 16:01

She's asking you to break the law, and place other people in danger. She is the one being completely unreasonable.

If she'd prefer that, in future, you pull to the side to text, she's welcome to ask you to do this, but it will only make you later.

ilovekitkats · 04/10/2017 16:02

Your boss IBVU. It is illegal to use your phone whilst driving, and texting is especially dangerous. I have followed cars swerving all over the place and driving slowly, when obviously on their phones.

It's not about getting caught, it's about the fact that you could kill somebody by being distracted.

Being stuck in traffic is no excuse either, as you are still in charge of a moving vehicle. I know somebody who merely lifted their phone out of the hands free holder to press a button on it and the police saw them do it and gave them points.

Your boss cannot expect you to do something that is illegal.

Cleanermaidcook · 04/10/2017 16:04

YANBU - I won't even use hands free or Siri when driving, don't check texts or even time on phone it's not worth it. Personally my phone is in my bag out of reach when i'm driving then I can't be tempted to have a quick peek if it pings.
Better safe and a bit late than causing an accident and potentially killing someone.

iseenodust · 04/10/2017 16:05

She is BU.
Even hands free is a bad idea. There is now a do not disturb I'm driving feature on some phones.

Nightmare if you are a manager please value your staff.

Youcanttaketheskyfromme · 04/10/2017 16:06

My work expressly forbids us to use hands free or Siri.

Tartyflette · 04/10/2017 16:07

If the OP has a good timekeeping record then her boss is NBU in being slightly irritated - but that's all. She should certainly not be saying it's OK to break the law -- it's not her licence at risk!

A reasonable boss would say please try and let me know next time but make sure it's safe and legal to do so. So if you have to go a bit out of your way to phone/text and thus be even more late then that should be fine with them.

Any of us can be caught up in something beyond our control which can cause us to be late and where we cannot phone or text to let work know. (on the tube, no signal/service, phone left behind or died, accident.)

I've been a manager when one of my staff was very late, my position was one of concern, not anger. (They had been injured in an incident and were unable to get in touch. And even if they could, in a situation like that, work is not necessarily their top priority.)

DoubleDinghyRapids · 04/10/2017 16:08

A lot of people think it’s ok to text while in traffic when the car is still. I remember a thread earlier in the year when a cyclist pointed out to driver that they shouldn’t be using phone while driving. A lot of posters said they text or check phone when at red lights or in traffic and that it’s a stupid law so will keep doing it so i won’t be surprised if you get a lot of people telling you should have done so.

Can see why your boss isnpissed off at not knowing you were gonna be Kate though, but she’s unreasonable to tell you to break the law and put people’s safety at risk.

Older smartphones don’t always have voice controls, I have iPhone 6 and for Siri to work without touching it has to be connected to a power source, otherwise you need hold home button in for Siri to work. Def look into your phone and depending on which operating system it uses set up voice controls or buy a cheap hands free.

RhiannonOHara · 04/10/2017 16:11

I think YANBU and your boss was an arse.

I'm interested in Mother's experience with HR. OP, maybe talk to your HR colleagues and find out the company policy on this?

Timeywimey8 · 04/10/2017 16:12

No it's not reasonable for your boss to behave this way.

Your phone should actually be locked away in your boot.

And more to the point, so should hers!

Years ago I was out at lunchtime and when I got back my bosses' PA for shirty with me saying she didn't know where I was and she'd tried to phone. I said I was on my lunch break and in any event I had been driving when she phoned.

I have used my phone when I have been in a very long queue, but I would be very annoyed if my boss expected me to do something which could lead to 6 points on my licence.

As for Bluetooth etc not all cars are set up for that, and not everyone has a smartphone.

OtterlyNutty · 04/10/2017 16:13

Euphemia
You can set up your phone for Hey Siri: google it.

I don't think that'll work on my cheapo Android Wink

KAT0779 · 04/10/2017 16:15

Why is everyone assuming that the OP has an iPhone (I can't see that he/she has said this). 20 mins late is not that late, I don't think OP should be expected to take a detour to contact their boss, and definitely should not be disciplined (unless being late is a regular thing).

FakePlasticTeaLeaves · 04/10/2017 16:15

She is definitely being unreasonable, but I do think you should set up a system so you can let your boss know when you will be late. It's always a bit disruptive when people don't show on time - you're left guessing if they are coming in or not. A handheld system sounds like a good idea.

outabout · 04/10/2017 16:15

Since it was a 'planned' delayed start you could have preempted the POSSIBLE lateness either texting before you left home or even the previous day. My commute would add 30 minutes to the overall travel time if I started 10 minutes later.
Had there been a bump or accident you could have been late anyway, driving is rarely that predictable. NO don't attempt to use phone in the car unless voice/proper handsfree.

Timeywimey8 · 04/10/2017 16:15

BTW the time I used my phone in a queue was when it had been snowing while I was work and I got the outskirts of my town and ground to a halt, so I just phoned my husband to let him know I was close by, safe but stuck. It took me about 30 minutes to do a journey that should have been less than 5. I should not have done it, and but I can understand why people occasionally do text or call when in a queue with the handbrake on.

But no boss should ever incite their employees to break the law.

QueenBeex · 04/10/2017 16:16

I agree with what Santa said, tell your boss you're more than happy to text her on your way to work to keep her updated.. all she needs to do is provide you with a chauffeur

KathyBeale · 04/10/2017 16:18

This is the most ridiculous thread. In London loads of people are late without contact because they're stuck on the tube. 20 minutes is hardly the end of the world. Nit-picky managers really make me cross because it inevitably only goes one way. In future, OP, make sure you leave exactly at the right time - and take your full lunch break.

PollyPerky · 04/10/2017 16:20

she was. Using the phone in a car even when stationary is against the law. You have to switch off the engine.

PollyPerky · 04/10/2017 16:22

I get the feeling many people here are not up to date with the law.

You have to have your car engine switched off to use your phone.

www.rac.co.uk/drive/advice/know-how/mobile-phone-laws/

Being stuck in traffic and stationary - using phone to speak or text- is still illegal.

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/10/2017 16:25

I would (and have done) pulled over and phoned, even if it takes longer.

We're not allowed to text in when late or sick anyway, you have to speak to a manager on the phone. And I would never send a text while driving, even when at a red light and would take a dim view of a manger telling me to do that. We're also strongly discouraged from using handsfree while driving.

I don't use Siri or the Google equivalent because I've never seen the need. I don't want my phone misunderstanding my instructions and going off and doing something totally different to what I've asked, especially while driving.

MrsSthe3rd · 04/10/2017 16:26

Having to get Siri to send the message is easier said than done...... I've tested this out on a car park and can't use it whilst driving as I have to look at the screen to see if it's got the right words. More often than not, I've had to cancel to whole thing as the phone hasn't understood 'MrSthe3rd' 'Mum' 'Brother' 'YoungSthe3rd's' 'Dad' etc!

YANBU......she is!