To be annoyed that friend invited them self to my house for tea?

[Whattodofirst]

Hi
I know I probably am being unreasonable but I feel so overwhelmed I just need to let it out!
I've had a friend for many many years. We've eaten at each other house a handful of times, it's just not something we normally do. Anyway last week she text and asked if I was free if she popped in this evening - I said yes assuming "popped in" meant for a cuppa and a chat. Anyway she later text me with the time she would arrive and explained she was coming to my house to kill time whilst waiting to collect her partner from work. I then asked what time she would be collecting him and it turns out she will be here all evening from shortly after I get back from the school run until after my kids bedtime! Obviously this means I have to feed her but it's the middle of the week, I'm not really ready for house guests, everywhere is a mess, I'm worn out from juggling school runs, work and a teething toddler and now I have to entertain her all evening! My partner said I should have just said no but I had t realised that she'd be here so long! I know it's too late to change anything now I just wondered if I'm being unreasonable here? I just think it's really rude ro invite yourself round to someone else's house and expect tea mid week, I wouldn't mind so much on the weekend.

Would never begrudge a friend a meal. We are super skint at the mo, using the slow cooker everyday but there's always a 'portion' left over in case we get a random guest or to freeze. You sound abit tight OP I have DC and a toddler and my house is always messy (clean but messy) my friends would have to accept that so I wouldn't worry about that side of things.

Sorry OP, was guilty of not reading the whole thread, you don't come across that tight , Just a tired mum struggling with appearances. Hope your friend manages to cheer you up

For those who have read through the thread you no doubt have gathered already that I totally regret posting it, I was tired overwhelmed and in tears at the thought of having to magic up a guest worthy meal and tidy my house and I didn't know how I'd do it. I don't begrudge her a meal, I just felt overwhelmed. Also to clarify although we've been friends many years we arent that close, I have more recent friends that I'm more comfortable with. Sadly there is a bit of formality between us. It all sounds minor and petty, and to be fair it is, but our lives are very different she is a career lady who isn't keen on children (this is something she openly says no judgement at all from me and nothing to say you can't be both, it's the facts as she herself puts them). she's a lovely person to meet up with and catch up over a coffee or lunch or whatever and we can talk old times and work etc but I find it very stressful when I have the kids with me as she gets very frustrated if I have to break the conversation to deal with them and doesn't like talking whilst chopping veg etc she likes to sit and talk one on one, so the idea of throwing her into a normal family evening of chaos just threw me and I had a melt down.
I'm over it... Tea is cooking and as many have said she will either enjoy it or not. I need to be brave and let her see the real me, who knows it might make us closer?
Thanks again for all the lovely replies

I still think she isn't expecting you to cook for her.
What have you made?
Crack open the wine, it will be fine

I took a suggestion from here and went with jacket potatoes - on the rare occasions I've fed her before it's been a 3 course meal so I'm hoping she doesn't mind... And it's something we would normally eat. I also figured, as many of you suggested that she might not expect food, that if she doesn't want to eat the kids can always have theirs and mine will keep. Thank you for asking 2014newme

I find it very stressful when I have the kids with me as she gets very frustrated if I have to break the conversation to deal with them and doesn't like talking whilst chopping veg etc she likes to sit and talk one on one

Then she needs to arrange a mutually convenient time with you for a catch-up!
You HAVE to let her see the 'real' you and what having dc is like - don't put on a mask for her or walk on tiptoes in your own home.

Mind you, i've grown up surrounded by children so i'm used to the chaos and half conversations......but that doesn't mean i enjoy it.
So if i'm not in the mood for dealing with that i make the effort to meet up with friends at another time/place.

I can just imagine my friends reactions if I went to their homes and tried to make them stand on ceremony

How was it, OP? Hope it went well. X