Keeping 3yr old at home from school nursery for a morning

[MrsPringles]

Donning my hard hat just to be on the safe side!

DS was 3 at the very end of August, just started nursery school 5 mornings per week (had previously been at a private nursery 2 full days a week) He gets picked up by a childminder 3 times per week and stays with her til 6 (other kids there and other pick ups so no chance to sleep) and then the other 2 days I am at home and collect him from school.

He is exhausted. Ridiculously exhausted. Comes home and sleeps for 3 hours, pretty much wakes up for an hour or so play before dinner and is back in bed for bedtime at 6.30

I am so tempted to let him have a day off (well 3 hours as it's just the morning) next week to catch up, weekends we have the boring jobs we need to do and then my days off are gone by him sleeping.

So AIBU to keep him at home one morning next week? He's just 3 and it's nursery school.

When mine were at pre-school, they only ever did 4 days.
Wednesdays were mummy mornings.
It was fab.
I have never understood the need to send 3 year olds in 5 days per week. There are some things which are better at home, and they are too tired for after nursery.

It was also good not to be so tied down to timings, especially when I had older ones at school, so had to be back by 3:20.
It meant we could go and see Granny too.

Do what works for your child.
The time will come soon enough when you HAVE to send them in

It was 5 days or nothing. We don't get the choice to choose because it's attached to a school

Yep, bookbag and uniform 🙄

I might be tempted to call in sisk every wednesday!

Wow that's so weird.

We used to have days off to visit granny/go out for the day as well. As long as it wasn't disruptive.

Is it still playbased? Are they basically starting reception early or is there still mud and trees and messy play?

Do what's best for him now. You've got YEARS ahead of you where you have to send him to school every day. 3 is only so little still.

It's just play, learning to share, take turns, listen to instructions etc.
It's more structured than his old nursery but not learning focused like reception.

They do Forrest school, outside play etc. He loves it and I've noticed a change in him since he's been going, I just wish it wasn't 5 bloody mornings a week

In Wales it's completely normal to start nursery attached to a school the term after you turn 3. It's 5 mornings or afternoons a week and it's all or nothing as far as I'm aware.

I also didn't realise they didn't have to do 5 mornings, I might look into dropping 1 if that's something I can do.

You can't just decide to drop a morning at our school nursery. They have very different policy than a private nursery, a school is rated on its whole-school attendance and that will include nursery attendance.

So at the (state, outstanding) school nursery at our primary school, a child is expected to do all 5 mornings if the place is accepted. There will be some pupils allowed in exceptional circumstances, like reduced timetables are allowed across the school when warranted individually. But not just one the basis of parent only wanting child to do 4 mornings not 5.

He's absolutely fine health wise just tired!

I have a just-turned 3 year old. She naps for 3h every day (plus 11-12h at night) every day.

Personally I am not suprised your toddler is tired on the level of daytime sleep he currently has. Personally, I don't think restricting his activities (at nursery) is the way to solve it. More consistant daytime naps would be a better way, I think.

this stuff about attendance in nursery for gods sake is so un child-centred the school should be ashamed (though I now it is common)

do what's right for your child.

just tell them he's sick - feel no qualms.

for us that set up would never have worked so we used a private nursery.

FATE - for some children it may be naps, but all 3 of mine dropped their daytime naps at 2. They continued with a 'quiet time' when we snuggled and read stories and about 2 x per week they fell asleep. But by 2.5 all had stopped day napping all together unless very tired for some other reason.

In fact I would say that 3 year olds napping is less common than those who don't nap.

OP can I just ask, will your son start reception next September? I'm only asking as I've worked in a private nursery and one attached to the school. The one attached to the school had only 5 mornings or 5 afternoons from September, but after Christmas, all children had to increase to 5 full days. Is this something your nursery will do? or will he stay 5 mornings until reception?

That's the same for all school nurseries round here. I've also noticed private nurseries removing places from funded children if they don't attend their days and they have a long waiting list now as well.

My 3 year old goes to pre-school with his funded 30 hours. We were told we could use the hours however we liked. We did consider sending him for 6 hours each day but ultimately decided to send him three times a week for 10 hour days.

Up until he was 3 years and 4 months old he had a two hour nap every afternoon and still slept for 11 hours overnight.

If your little one is struggling in terms of tiredness then yes, I would pull a 'sickie' with him.

Please talk to your childminder about naps. She may not know that you want him to nap as some parents discourage them after a certain age

I'm a childminder with 3 pretty schoolers most days ages 1-3 and I can accommodate naps for anyone who needs it. Most childminders will do this, please talk to her.

I also don't think there is anything wrong with pulling him out of nursery!

My (nearly) 4.5 year old is exhausted from starting school despite being used to full nursery days (he was once full time then switched to . Normally he's like Tigger and would outlast the Duracell bunny, but he still needs an occasional catch-up sleep. Last night he crashed out for the night just after half past 5 and had about 14 hours sleep! Normally he has a "sleep is for the weak" attitude.

The change of environment is tough on them and sometimes they need a chance to catch up to stay happy and healthy. He will get used to it but until then, an occasional chance to catch up will do him good, particularly as he has little opportunity to switch off in his routine.

Haha, I have 3 pre schoolers !

steppemum, I appreciate that many children have stopped naps by 3 years old. The significant sign a toddler is ready to drop the nap tends to be not needing the sleep, so not being overly exhausted without a nap.

It would seem the OP's toddler is exhausted without a nap. Therefore would benefit from a daily nap. The fact that your toddler didn't need a nap at this age is largely irrelevant given that your toddler is not the same child as the OP's child.

He will start reception next September with full days. Until then it'll be half days as they have a morning and afternoon class so too many children to merge into one full day nursery class

DS will happily nap every day at home. Outside of the house and anywhere other than his bed? nope, no way.

And because unfortunately I can only be at home for 2 days (financially I have to work) his nap schedule has gone to pot which is why I have an extra over tired little boy and it makes me feel awful

MrsP - it is not unreasonable to come across children who will sleep for 13-14 hours over night, if they need it.

Have you tried earlier bedtimes and no nap? You might find he still wakes at the same time, if he's exhausted.

I appreciate that earlier bedtimes affects your time with him after work. It's all pants, I know. But if he needs the sleep, then he needs the sleep.

I literally cannot get him to bed on my days off any quicker. I get to the childminder at 6, walk home and give him dinner, bath/or quick wash and then straight to bed.

I've this morning asked the childminder if I send dinner for him as well as lunch, she can feed it to him for me at 5, I can then get him at 6 and get him, straight home, bath and bed.
That should shave some time off!

Why not? It's not compulsory school.

My little one was in Montessori school and also had a bookbag and uniform like that (when she was 2).

With my eldest I had an arrangement with her school nursery that she would be off the days I wasn't working so she would go in 2-3 mornings a week and it varied which days as I worked shifts but it sounds like your one isn't flexible. I assume you're paying for the Forrest school nursery?

G1raffe mine had uniform and bookbag and attendance at 3.5, they didn't start them before then. If it's attached to a primary school I'd expect that.

All the Nurseries round here are at the school, you send them to nursery department of the school you want them to attend, so no choice in the days attended all the children attend for the duration of the nursery hours, usually 9-1.30 or so.