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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My 16 year old has just told me...

403 replies

itwasadarkandstormy · 04/10/2017 11:26

... that all his friends are given £200 a week by their parents as spending money. I'm calling bullshit.

Actually, I feel like I've had the stuffing knocked out of me. I thought I was generous at about £80 a week.

So, AIBU?

OP posts:
Imstyledilemma · 04/10/2017 12:13

Kids do have more expensive tastes nowadays - we used tunnel make up, teenagers nowadays use MAC and othe rexpensive brands that I can’t wven afford as a grown up!

Tough fucking shit.

It's a rite of passage to start off with the shit stuff and work your way up.
How do kids nowadays learn any sort of humility or ability to live on a budget when you are basically saying
"Don't worry, you need expensive stuff, even though you are a teen"
No wonder so many of em are spoilt shits.

this x 100

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 04/10/2017 12:14

£200 PW. After they've paid out bills mortgage/rent ect ect. I call bs, too.
unless all his friends parents are lottey winners.
Mind you you can't be far behind them if you can afford to give your ds £80 PW. If you're not a lottery winner. What do you do for a living. I think I need career change.

PoisonousSmurf · 04/10/2017 12:14

By giving too much pocket money it can bring on bad habits. As others have said, unless you can see what he buys, he could be gambling or on drugs!

PersianCatLady · 04/10/2017 12:15

I would want to know what the £4,000 a year was being spent on.

ALittleMop · 04/10/2017 12:15

£80 is a ridiculous amount of money for a kid to get to spend per week.
Even if you are minted, tbh. No good can come of it.

Mine will get what I got - child allowance in cash, plus travel pass (needed for school but covers weekends), phone top up, lifts home from nightclubs at unsuitable hours and occasional treats.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 04/10/2017 12:15

Kids do have more expensive tastes nowadays - we used tunnel make up, teenagers nowadays use MAC and othe rexpensive brands that I can’t wven afford as a grown up!

Tough. Those brands aren't new. No teenager needs to use Mac. There are perfectly good if not better in some instances, cheaper brands.

loobyloo1234 · 04/10/2017 12:15

OP you do know that by giving him £80 a week, there is no incentive for him getting a job don't you? Confused

I had 2 part time jobs at the age of 15, and then 3 part time jobs from 16 all through college. What is he actually spending the £80 a week on

NC4now · 04/10/2017 12:16

Good god.
I hope he's going to walk straight into a well paid job because he won't sustain that standard of living when he leaves home and has rent and bills to pay. That's setting them up to get in debt later, imo.

BarbaraofSevillle · 04/10/2017 12:18

It could also just set the level of what he thinks is the normal basic level of spending so ridiculously high that he will never be able to pay for the lifestyle he expects unless he gets a very well paid job.

As others have said, many adults don't have £80 pw 'pocket money' so how is he going to cope when almost all his money goes on rent and bills?

He will probably have difficulty prioritising if he thinks it is normal to have new clothes and trainers all the time, to buy all his lunches out or run an expensive car.

MissWilmottsGhost · 04/10/2017 12:18

Surprisingly, OP seems to have gone away.....

AdalindSchade · 04/10/2017 12:18

How gullible are you?
£800 a month pocket money?!
You’re not parenting very well by giving him so much. He’s hardly going to get a job if you give him more than he could earn!

gluteustothemaximus · 04/10/2017 12:19

DS15 gets zero. He'll ask for the odd amount here and there to go into town and get a mcdonald's, but that's about it.

He's getting trainers for his birthday. He gets lunch money for school. Anything else he wants technology wise, we save up for Christmas presents (all second hand off eBay).

He's happy. I ask him if he feels different to his friends who do gets lots of pocket money. He says he's not bothered. He has everything he needs, and everything he wants.

£80 a week is insane, for us, we don't even have that for ourselves.

UnicornMadeOfPinkGlitter · 04/10/2017 12:20

ds2 I almost 16 and gets £15 a week plus his mobile topped up £15 a month.

I do buy most of his clothes as well. But I do limit what I give for clothing, no going in town every week and buying new stuff.

However he has a very mixed circle of friends and some do have huge amounts of cash thrown at them. eg he went in town with a friend to buy trainers for holiday, I had given him £100 and expected change or a pair of shorts or a t-shirt as well as the trainers and his friend who had just snapchatted an asos haul, had £250 to spend! this same boy regularly spends £100 plus a week on clothing.

AdoraBell · 04/10/2017 12:21

They may have more expensive tastes but that doesn't mean parents have to pay for it. And if we do then said teenagers are less likely to learn how to manage their money well.

Cordy2015 · 04/10/2017 12:22

When i was 16 i was at college... i had a part time job at the weekends and that was the only money i got... sure my parents bought me food/toiletries and paid for anything i needed for college but if i wanted luxuries i had to earn them!

Do you not want your child to ever leave home? because you seem to be employing them to be your child...

ijustwantfiveminutespeace · 04/10/2017 12:22

You give your son £80 a week? What on earth for????

Trailedanderror · 04/10/2017 12:25

£80 is more than enough to get into a lot of trouble.

ijustwantfiveminutespeace · 04/10/2017 12:26

This must be BS. No responsible adult would give their child that much money. And the OP is not saying much.
What a load of rubbish.
If you do then he'll mend you. He will never know the value of money.
Stop his money and he will soon get a job.

Sukistinks · 04/10/2017 12:27

Why not ask him to pay for the solicitor you couldn't afford last month? The supposed £80 a week would easily have covered, over a few weeks, the legal fees needed for your children's safeguarding against your ex husband. Or maybe it's the drug dealing father you speak about previously giving child £80 a week?

I can't work out if you are genuinely stupid, having a laugh or just lying for attention.

ALittleMop · 04/10/2017 12:27

Ask to see a budget proposal
(for the £80 let alone the £200)
Should be a laugh

Sofabitch · 04/10/2017 12:28

£80!! A week!

Mine get £20 A month and their phone contracts. If they want more they need to get jobs.

LivingInLaLaLand · 04/10/2017 12:28

Spoilt, unappreciative pee taker who is trying it on. Either he learns to be more grateful for what he has, or finds himself new friends (if that's even the truth which I doubt) Sounds like it's passed time he learnt if he wants money he earns it

donajimena · 04/10/2017 12:29

Funniest thread I have seen in ages. Come on OP play along! You need to give more details. Do you live somewhere like Maui where people might be wealthier?

milliemolliemou · 04/10/2017 12:30

Are you hiding OP? what do you think?

Minster2012 · 04/10/2017 12:31

But @BarbaraofSeville OP doesn't want cheap pound shop toiletries I don't think, nor to be the cheapest, she wants her kin to have the best so I'll settle for a nice Milton brown set out of my £75, otherwise my posher friends might sneer!! Grin after all they bathe in molten gold don't you know!!

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