My 16 year old has just told me...

[itwasadarkandstormy]

... that all his friends are given £200 a week by their parents as spending money. I'm calling bullshit.

Actually, I feel like I've had the stuffing knocked out of me. I thought I was generous at about £80 a week.

So, AIBU?

my dsis usd to gt this she was a spoilt brat-when it stopped she didnt know how to cope eventually got a job but didnt see why she always run out of money

if your not careful you'll end up with a son like her

Blimey. I don't get 80 per week to spend on myself!! My 16 year old ds gets £25 per week. It's for food at college, if he makes sandwiches then he gets to keep the cash.

OMG £80 a month if they are doing their fair share round the house.
Mine just get jobs when they are this age though, can't wait to become independant.

The friend may not be lieing, me and my brother used to get £100 each weekly to last us from Monday-Sunday. I always used to spend £2 a day out of mine

And you will keep having to tell them to get job every single day forever.

Because they won't get a job.

Because they don't need to. They have you.
Don't be a door mat. Stop giving them so much money. Or any at all for that matter! They can get a job.

Even if they're at school/college.

I started work when I was 13 and didn't stop until I started my degree in my mid 20's and that was only because I had a tiny baby otherwise I'd have worked then as well.

Christ I work full time and I don’t have £80 a week spending money

I agree with @BertrandRussell

Obviously £80 is ridiculous- unless it includes travel, phone, all clothes, all food and all activities and all school trips and school expenses.

But I think that kids should always have a couple of quid they don't have to ask for or justify needing. Even in the case of the girl who spends her weekend at horse shows- in our horse show days there was always an ice cream van at the very least.....

God! When I was 16 I got a fiver a week from parents and just over £20 a week from my Saturday job and I considered that fortunate!
IMHO, £80 per week is extremely generous and £200 is completely uncalled for. It's like paying them a wage! You are definitely not BU.

@BertrandRussell - I don’t think it ridiculous at all and I also believe OP is telling the truth. £80 to last a week (7 days) isn’t much. It is about £11.40 a day if I’m correct.

How much OP decides to give her son a week has nothing to do with us.

I'm not long gone, just long busy. I believe it to be terrible shite. Yes, I do need to reassess, and this thread will be forwarded to said son

As I said- £80 is ridiculous if it's just spending money. If it's to cover everything then not ridiculous at all.

2nd time today I'm agreeing with Bertrand. If you can afford it giving your DC some pocket money with no strings attached is a good thing. Treating them to stuff from time to time for no reason is also a good thing. Teenagers don't stop being the children you love just becasue they happen to have been alive longer and can technically ern money for themselves.

Also agree that it depends on what the money is being spent on as to whether its a lot. Mine get half that a month, but it is only for spends rf for saving for things they want outside of Christmas and Birthdays. They are not stupid, they realise that if they want more they can get a job but I wouldn't deny a teenager something they need if I could afford to buy it.

My DH (with 2 degrees) works in an NHS job and doesn't make that much more than £200 a week after tax. It's not right that a teenager expects that just to piss about with. What kind of people are they going to be?

I've just added up my ds's expenses- fares to school, clubs, phone and music lessons add up to £72.75 a week. That does not include lunch, clothes, toiletries or any spending money. Admittedly, his fares to school are more expensive than many. But it does make £80 seem reasonable!

I think we all organise things differently and have different incomes and expenditures so there isn't a right answer.

DS1 is taking driving lessons at the moment so that's £50 a week, then add his phone, contact lenses, clubs, bus fares etc etc then it easily gets to more than £80 a week, again without toiletries and the rest.

However in my house I pay all those things and he gets a tenner a week for nothing. I could give him £100 a week at the moment and get him to pay all those things and that might be a good lesson on managing money but he seems to be okay as we are and he spends very little of what he gets.

Jesus 70€ a month here. She pays for all her clothes including school stuff and sports stuff and shoes. Plus buys all presents for family and friends. What the fuck do you think he is currently learning. Why would he ever get a job when he is so well off.

It depends what that £80 has to cover? If we expected our DDs to pay their own bus fare (£17.50 each per week), their tennis club membership (roughly £7 each per week), their school lunches (roughly £18 each per week), their phones (roughly £6 each per week) + buy all their own clothes, toiletries and make up - then £80 per week seems very reasonable.

As it is, we foot the bill for all of the above + they get £30 allowance each per month to spend as they choose + £25 each a month for taking care of a friend's dog twice a week.

I will never understand parents who expect their children to financially support themselves from the age of 13 FFS. I get a lot of pleasure out of treating our DDs just like my lovely Mum still likes to 'treat' me sometimes.

I recommend reading this.

As I said, my ds needs £72.50 a week before lunch, clothes, toiletries or any spending money.

DS(20) used to get his part of the child benefit transferred to his account from 16-18, which covered his PAYG phone and any outings, we paid for his bus pass and basic toiletries. Once he started getting EMA (in NI) that stopped and he has had to keep his car on the road using any money he has in his account. He's not bothered about clothes etc so tends to get them as and when he feels that he needs something (once in a blue moon ) and never spends that much. TBH he tends to wait until his birthday or Xmas and MIL forces him to go with her to buy some.

I may on occasion fill his car if I borrow it but I'm seriously contemplating starting to put money into his account again because he doesn't have the time for a job this year due to placement hours, helping out with DD when DH and I work nights, the volume of coursework, and I know that he's pared his expenses as far as he can.

Hilarious. My parents were both earning so money wasn't necessarily a struggle growing up- between the age of 13-16 I got £20 a month allowance... and then as soon as I was 16 I was expected to get a part time job to fund my own fun. £80 a week is utterly crazy. For what it's worth even when I was at uni, working part time and still struggling with rent/bills as the loan covers nothing my parents gave me £100 A MONTH. And I was incredibly grateful to receive that. No way in heck does someone need £80 a week, never mind £200!!

i think if they are paying for everything out of that money for themselves £80 is fair enough for school travel, lunches, toiletries, going out and activities.
It's a bit much for spending money though.

From being 14 mine had their cb now £82.00 to spend on whatever they needed.
I still bought clothes they needed, but if they wanted an expensive brand they had to add the difference to what I'd pay for the cheaper brand.

£80/week for a sixteen-year-old? Please adopt me! I want to be your child.

bertrand but the £72.75 isn't 'pocket' money - it's just general expenses that you are paying for.
The OP' child (appears) to have £80pw pocket money to spend on whatever he likes, as mum seems to be paying for toiletries etc.

My 17 year old son receives £20 a week, to spend on lunch at college.
He gets a further £3 a week if his room is tidy when I do a room inspection on a weekend.
He does bits of paid acting work here and there for any extra cash.
Your son is very lucky. He receives more spending money than most adults do!