About the rat?

[HeadfirstForHalos]

Well it's not just the rat really.

Ds2 aged 9 has ASD and attends a special school 18 miles away, so has transport there and back. Two other children get picked up, but as ds lives the furthest away he gets picked up first/ dropped home last.

Transport was overhauled over the summer so he has a new taxi driver and chaperone, It's the first time for both of them in this line of work.

Ds never stops talking is very sociable and loves chatting, mainly with adults. After the first few days they installed an in car dvd player, this lasted 2 weeks, ds mainly likes to watch Spongebob on repeat and talk endlessly about what's happening. The dvd player has vanished.

Then one day last week he arrived home very chuffed with 50p he had won. He had
it for beating the taxi driver in the silence competition on the way home. After some probing I found out this competition only starts after dropping off the other 2 boys, so the last 15 minutes of the journey.

This competition has been repeated daily on the return journey, with ds mainly winning an extra strong mint Ds thinks this is great.

Yesterday, I opened the door to see him brandishing what initially appeared to be some kind of roadkill. I don't think I disguised my horror very well and blurted out "What on earth is that?". His chaperone looked kind of sheepish and told me he'd won in in the silence game, and how good he was getting at it

I think i mumbled something like oh great, well done and got ds inside. On closer inspection it is a vile , cheap scratchy rat "toy". It' positively evil. Ds loves it. He thinks it's cute. It's now his favourite toy ever and I had to strongly persuade him not to take it to school this morning. It could take a child's eye out with it's demonic plastic claws.

I'm dreading what could arrive home with ds today.

So, AIBU? There is the not small issue of bribing a child with SN to keep quiet, that I am very uncomfortable with. I know he can be draining, but it's only 90 mins in total each day, much of that he is just talking to his friends in the taxi (they're in the same class). I'm hoping the game will fizzle out soon. In fairness he likes the game. WWYD?

Then there is the issue of the evil rattington, who is currently staring unwaveringly at me . Waiting for more friends to join him.

sigh that was long, well done if you read it to the end. It's been bugging me and i needed to write it out.

Your ds seems to be enjoying it!

Not sure if it oversteps boundaries tbh but I need to concentrate when I drive not have chatting going on where I’m expected to join in

Can we see a picture of the rat?

I can understand why the driver wouldn't want to chat but surely the chaperone doesn't have anything better to do?

I guess it depends on if the driver is finding it distracting? Personally if your son is happy I wouldn’t worry about it.

Are you a touch envious he has managed to get your ds to be quiet??
He is responsible for your ds at a crucial time - a car journey - be glad he can get him about safe and sound!!

Where I the dvd player? Find it. Get headphones.

*is

Incessant chatter whilst driving can be distraction for the driver. I was on a driving course yesterday where this was mentioned as a factor in accidents.
I

Yes getting the dvd going again with headphones is a very good idea.

That's a bit off really, I'd not be happy. Just because he enjoys it doesn't mean it's not wrong.

I agree the driver needs not to be distracted, that's why they have a chaperone to look after the children. Ds doesnt speak to the driver. It must be much louder when all three boys are in the car. It only happens with just ds, and he is is chatty and bubbly but doesn't yell or anything. In this line of work many drivers will be picking up children who will screech and scream.

I just get the impression the chaperone finds him annoying and doesn't want to speak to him.

Running, i agree , that's why I've not said anything, ds seems happy.

Santa, I became resigned to the lack of quiet years ago 😂

I will try and get pics of the rat, I fear they won't do him justice though

Speak to the chaperone then if you aren't happy

I have considered asking if he can take his tablet and headphones for the part of the journey when it's just him, it's what we do on long jouneys. I just dont want him glued to it the whole journey instead of talking to his friends (who don't take devices). I'm not sure the chaperone would ensure he put it away after the 15 mins on the jouney there, it takes some prompting as he can be quite obsessive over devices.

Well. You need to have an actual conversation with the chaperone

I suppose the chaperone should be used to this, I mean lots and lots of dc are chatty. If he isn't a shouter and just wants a little interaction then I don't think it's reasonable to play the quiet games. Also the gifting things could be seen in a different light.
Would it be worth having a chat with both of them, ask about the dvd player. I honestly think that would be the answer, your dc will be kept entertained and everyone will be happy.

My sons chaperone sometimes asks for a small toy to keep him occupied my son is non verbal but can be very challenging behaviour wise ,the thing with tablet is they might be reluctant to let him have it due to the risk of it getting broken?My sons driver and escort seem to change every year some are better than others one year the escorts kept them quiet with choclate and crispa i wondered why he would never want his tea!

I read your opening post thinking he actually gave your DS an actual rat for a minute then!

In this line of work many drivers will be picking up children who will screech and scream.

Well yes. DS has ASD & ADHD and is also one of those children that never shuts up doesn't always realise when it's appropriate to chat or not. Regardless of whether the driver should be able to handle it or not it IS still very distracting, I remember DS having a full very loud meltdown in the taxi home one day, no amount of cajoling/calming him down would work, driver was fab but I couldn't have been more apologetic.

It's up to your chaperone to keep him occupied to be honest. The drivers job is to get him from a-b.

Not all chaperones are with it. DF used to be a taxi driver and he tells us a lovely story of the chaperone he once picked up who forgot where the child she was looking after lived! Fair enough you say but she'd been picking the same kid up for three years!

The granny smith is for size reference , I'm not feeding him!

I can see why a kid would like that.

I totally disagree with the other posters, they are paid to take children with SN to school. If the driver does not feel it is safe to drive because they are distracted then they need to to approach their company about this not turn it into a game of shut that kid up. In the long run the game of being quiet will do more harm - with the expectancy of getting a reward or other kids wanting a reward for example. Can you ask to speak with the driver and chaperone or their manager to explain in a very matter of fact way that this isn't ok. The problem is not your son, and bribing a minor is not a solution to them wanting a bit of peace.

My neighbour gave my kids a chucky doll which plays music and turns its head 360 nods / bobs it's head.

Kill it with fire OP.

Oh it's lovely!

It's got real character.

I know I need to chat to the chaperone if i want to change things, I just didn't want to if I was over thinking things

He's only had them since last month, I don't want to start off the relationship on the wrong foot, they will be in our lives for a long time. Plus it's a new job for her, I'm hoping she's just finding her feet.

I do think we might have been a bit spoiled by his previous taxi people too, his chaperone was a larger than life, extroverted bubbly brummie lady who talked more than ds. They loved each other to bits, but they lost their new bid on the transport contract We'd had them for 3 years.

I'm hoping we don't end up with an entire rat army 😂

Wow, that rat is, er, yeah, um, unusual!