Just wanted a rant really. He has just returned from a months holiday and it was bliss while he was gone. Here are the list of things I have to put up with until someone please fires him:
He doesn't wash, but instead covers himself in a shitty cheap aftershave that even cockroaches run from. He walks in and within 5 minutes I am sat here struggling to breathe.
He comes in but rather than starting to work he uses the desk and as kitchen worktop and starts preparing breakfast. Splish, splash, splosh. Then ten minutes of loud chewing.
Breakast is finished off with his first sexist/racist/inappropriate joke of the day.
He can't answer or ask a question without sarcasm or mansplaining. He will stand over my desk, almost breathing down my neck, sometimes even taking my mouse to "show me how to do something". 99.9% of the time he is wrong.
If it gets warm he might even take off his shoes. His feet stink worse than his body odour.
He doesn't do his job but then will do tasks nobody asked him or wants him to do. Like while he was gone I noticed he had renamed a folder from "Archive" to "Ignore". Just because he thinks that's a better name for it. So a sea of people were coming in to ask where the Archive had gone.
I have to wear headphones the whole day just so he won't try to involve me in his two hour long debate about what's on the news. Insert controversial topic: Catalonia/US shootings/North Korea/Transgender rights. He will take the opposite view to everyone else just to cause drama in the office.
He will leave half an hour earlier than everyone else, despite having arrived late, spent 1 hour making various snacks, done no work, and distracted everyone else.
Please agree with me, it can't get worse than this.