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AIBU?

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Original poster

I hate my colleague

54 replies

Neoflex · 04/10/2017 08:20

Just wanted a rant really. He has just returned from a months holiday and it was bliss while he was gone. Here are the list of things I have to put up with until someone please fires him:

He doesn't wash, but instead covers himself in a shitty cheap aftershave that even cockroaches run from. He walks in and within 5 minutes I am sat here struggling to breathe.
He comes in but rather than starting to work he uses the desk and as kitchen worktop and starts preparing breakfast. Splish, splash, splosh. Then ten minutes of loud chewing.
Breakast is finished off with his first sexist/racist/inappropriate joke of the day.
He can't answer or ask a question without sarcasm or mansplaining. He will stand over my desk, almost breathing down my neck, sometimes even taking my mouse to "show me how to do something". 99.9% of the time he is wrong.
If it gets warm he might even take off his shoes. His feet stink worse than his body odour.
He doesn't do his job but then will do tasks nobody asked him or wants him to do. Like while he was gone I noticed he had renamed a folder from "Archive" to "Ignore". Just because he thinks that's a better name for it. So a sea of people were coming in to ask where the Archive had gone.
I have to wear headphones the whole day just so he won't try to involve me in his two hour long debate about what's on the news. Insert controversial topic: Catalonia/US shootings/North Korea/Transgender rights. He will take the opposite view to everyone else just to cause drama in the office.
He will leave half an hour earlier than everyone else, despite having arrived late, spent 1 hour making various snacks, done no work, and distracted everyone else.

Please agree with me, it can't get worse than this.

OP posts:
MrTrebus · 04/10/2017 10:35

I don't understand why people are afraid to say "you smell and it is making me feel sick" just do it in private with no witnesses and then he can't complain about you, but it means he'll also be too embarrassed to complain as well. Just tell him he fucking stinks. I've had to do it in the past with a colleague I actually liked and managed to do it delicately, you don't even like this bloke so just tell him he is rank and needs a wash. Simples.

VinoTime · 04/10/2017 10:37

In every workplace I have every been in, personal hygiene is treated as seriously as dressing appropriately/professionally for your role. Stinking to the high heavens and showing up to work unwashed was tolerated the same way coming into work in your underwear or pyjamas would have been - not acceptable.

There are plenty of ways to gently but firmly remind people to come to work clean. Your colleague may not want to hear it and people can become very defensive, but it is what it is. Your manager needs to grow a spine and address issues that are raised - and yes, you can absolutely report poor hygiene OP! You can buy a bar of soap and a stick of deodorant for less than a quid! There is no excuse for it.

He sounds awful. I am sorry Flowers

macncheesewithbacon · 04/10/2017 10:38

He's nose blind - when people stink they don't notice it.

He seems exceptionally thick skinned and unable/unwilling to take the hint. I had a situation like this and it continued until I 'snapped' and shouted at them (they has absolutely foul breath, BO and feet and used to actually rub his armpits with his hands (under his shirt) and then touched me - I loudly shouted `'get off me, that's disgusting, don't touch me with your stinking dirty hands' and stormed off. I didn't apologise and he bitched about me to everyone at which point other told him his behaviour was disgusting and utterly unacceptable.

It's okay to tell him to get away from you, put his shoes on etc.

ilovesooty · 04/10/2017 10:41

I don't understand why anyone puts up with this stuff long term without escalating it through the appropriate channels. If this is all documented present it again to your manager, adding any further relevant information and ask for a response in writing within a specific timescale.
If nothing is achieved in this period make a formal approach to her manager / HR. I'd suggest involving your union but I suspect you aren't in one.

DJBaggySmalls · 04/10/2017 10:43

If your manager doesn't deal with it, question if they are trying to get rid of you using constructive dismissal, to both her and HR.

Maudlinmaud · 04/10/2017 10:47

He has already had a warning? Plenty of time then to take on board the constructive feedback. Nothing has changed, keep going op.

dontquotemeondailymail · 04/10/2017 10:51

You mentioned he'd re-written letters that had been approved by legal. If you have to use these letters, it could get you into trouble (depending on the business and level of regulation).
You could 'innocently' send the new versions of the letter to Legal and say you've noticed these had been changed by , are they still compliant?
It's a way of raising your concerns outside of your manager's remit.

Ridiculous that you have to go through stupid hoops like this though, your manager really needs to step up!

2ndbase · 04/10/2017 10:54

Well thanks for that, nice of you to post this on a public forum rather than discussing it face to face.

SlothMama · 04/10/2017 10:58

I feel your pain OP when I worked at a supermarket on the deli counter I had a colleague with the most horrendous hygiene. His "whites" were yellow and reeked, I would feel ill being next to him so I would purposely work on a different section far enough that I didn't smell him.

My manager refused to say anything because it was embarrassing and he was on a temporary contract so only had a few weeks left. It was disgusting that he was allowed to work with food.....

Maudlinmaud · 04/10/2017 11:00

2ndbase are you the colleague or are you being facetious?

Redissuereader · 04/10/2017 11:01

2ndbase, if its you she is talking about then can I suggest that it usually isn't the failure to wash yourself everyday that causes smells. It is wearing shirts over again when you have perspired in it once. May I suggest a midweek laundry wash as well as a weekend one and this may help the issue.

WomblingThree · 04/10/2017 11:02

Not everyone has an HR department. Not everyone has a manager above their manager. I wish people on here would accept that there is a whole world beyond their multinational billion dollar corporate bubble.

@Neoflex, dig out a copy of your staff handbook and find out the formal grievance procedure, then follow it to the letter, ensuring you keep a paper trail. Nothing is less productive than endlessly moaning about the same thing without actually taking any action. I imagine your boss has probably stopped listening, whilst thinking “shit or get off the pot”.

There’s no way you should have to work with a stinking pig, but unless you address it professionally, nothing will happen. When you have followed the proper channels, if nothing is done, I would be inclined to agree with a PP and start investigating constructive dismissal.

WomblingThree · 04/10/2017 11:04

Go away @2ndbase. There is no way on earth you have “come across” this thread and found it to be about you. Troll off.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 04/10/2017 11:05

"Well thanks for that, nice of you to post this on a public forum rather than discussing it face to face."

2ndbase, you aren't honestly saying you are the colleague in question??

PoorYorick · 04/10/2017 11:21

Course they're not.

Original poster
Neoflex · 04/10/2017 11:22

omg Redissuereader that is definitely it. He is just too lazy or above himself to wash his own clothes. Finally penny has dropped.

OP posts:
PovertyJetset · 04/10/2017 11:25

2ndbase. Troll off!

Op you need to go past your mgr and speak to HR.

Speak to ACAS for advice.

pantrylightout · 04/10/2017 11:43

Good idea Neoflix, perhaps Second Base could start us off

FrostyPopThePenguinLord · 04/10/2017 12:07

Well he is clearly a sensitive man.....very in tune with the pregnant woman....not...
I currently can't be at work because the ambient smells are triggering my morning sickness (I'm 18 weeks and no signs of stopping) and they are unavoidable so they had no choice but to let me sign off.

I'm not suggesting you get signed off but go to your manager and say you have put up with this for a very long time but the combination of huge amounts of nasty deodorant, BO and foot smell are triggering your nausea and it's making life very difficult to work efficiently etc etc.
Words to that effect. Then it's not you 'being a bitch', it's a pregnancy thing, you could also do some hormonal tears.
It's not like what you are asking is going to be a detriment to the office in any way or you are asking for special treatment, just for another employee to have basic standards of personal hygiene.
I have horses and work in a food environment, whilst I was able to work I got up and dealt with the animals then went home to have a shower and change. Given that you can't wear strong smelling products in a food environment it would not have been possible to mask the horse smell with deodorant or perfume. I managed to do this early enough even pregnant, exhausted and throwing up all over the place. He has no excuses, just sounds like a dirty git.

DemonBaby · 04/10/2017 12:09

Well thanks for that, nice of you to post this on a public forum rather than discussing it face to face.

Lol ok.

Original poster
Neoflex · 04/10/2017 12:21

Maybe this is the universe training me for all of the dirty nappies coming my way...
You gave me some encouragement to speak to my boss. She's back from holiday and seemed to be in a good mood.
I didn't want to mention the smell but I did mention I had "back ache" due to all the sitting and asked whether I could use our only standing desk, which happens to be based in another office.

But I did mention that I had filled in the feedback forms for bonuses (I am a senior in team) and did she have any thoughts on them? So actually she suggested while we are looking for someone to cover my maternity, if there are enough good candidates we could consider hiring a second person, if we think they'd be a better fit.

I am thinking she just doesn't want to confirm to me directly that this guy won't be sticking around without telling him to his face first.

OP posts:
Original poster
Neoflex · 04/10/2017 12:23

but of course he might accidentally find all of this out in the huge coincidence he comes across this in a forum, right second base?

OP posts:
CoughLaughFart · 04/10/2017 15:53

In every workplace I have every been in, personal hygiene is treated as seriously as dressing appropriately/professionally for your role.

Absolutely - in my last two roles it was directly referenced in the code of conduct.

CoughLaughFart · 04/10/2017 16:36

Not everyone has an HR department. Not everyone has a manager above their manager. I wish people on here would accept that there is a whole world beyond their multinational billion dollar corporate bubble.

You don't have to work in a multinational to have an HR rep. Granted, it may not be an entire department, but unless this is a three-man band and the OP, her boss and Stinky are the only people there (and she's already made clear this is not the case), the likelihood is that HR is at least part of someone's job, even if it isn't their full time focus. Similarly, unless you report directly to the owner of the company you work for, there's always someone higher up the chain to go to. Functions and structure are not the preserves of 'corporate bubbles'.

Beeziekn33ze · 04/10/2017 16:52

2ndbase - have you cleaned yourself and your clothes up yet?

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