Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To give my toddler a bit of bread?

514 replies

ChequeredPasta · 03/10/2017 20:19

I imagine this has already been done to death, and would get the answer if I could be arsed to scroll...
At Waitrose the other day. Put a french bread stick in the trolley, which my toddler (2) saw, and started reaching for it. Told her no, to wait, but she is an untameable beast became upset. So..... I tore off the end and gave it to her BEFORE paying Shock One of the staff saw, and gave me a stinker of a look.

Now, my Mum used to do this with us. But, my Mum's understanding of social convention is.... interesting.
WIBU?!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 03/10/2017 20:58

Its fine, if toddler is hungry then surely its better to give them a bit of bread than have them hangry screaming.
Like pp said, in most restaurants you pay AFTER you've eaten. You fill a car with petrol before you pay for it.the window cleaner cleans the window before he's paid

mirime · 03/10/2017 20:58

I wouldn't do it, but don't care and wouldn't judge of I see anyone else do it.

Pengggwn · 03/10/2017 20:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Migraleve · 03/10/2017 20:59

I don't really understand the 'it's better than a screaming toddler' or 'it keeps the child happy' mentality. Surely if you know you are going shopping you can anticipate this and take some snacks with you to give your child!

littlebird7 · 03/10/2017 21:00

I did it all the time - and when I was organised I would take things with me as we went around. As long as you pay for them and you have a reliable method (s) of payment no worries. No one has ever noticed or cared (that I have been aware of)

There is no good talking about manners and self control to a toddler, they haven't developed either and it will be a few years before they do. That is definitely a conversation for an older child. I am all for making life easier, happier and more relaxed.

DiegoMadonna · 03/10/2017 21:00

Oh Mumsnetters, you never fail me.

QueenUnicorn · 03/10/2017 21:00

I wouldn't do it until I'd paid out of principle.
It may just be bread but grey areas make problems for staff when people start to do it with other things.

deepestdarkestperu · 03/10/2017 21:01

I have no objection with people/toddlers eating wandering around the shop, but why can't you buy it first? Sales assistants don't want to touch your empty wrappers and rubbish (especially when they can't go and wash their hands at a checkout) and considering the amount of empty wrappers/bags of hot food I used to find dumped on the aisles, lots of people never paid for the food they ate, or their kids hid the wrappers and the parents never realised.

It might not be theft (because you probably intend to pay for it) but I wish people wouldn't do it without paying first.

Pengggwn · 03/10/2017 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

baffledcoconut · 03/10/2017 21:01

Can’t stand this myself. But I do it occasionally.

In constant internal turmoil 😂 it makes me feel like a real criminal.

JaimeLannister · 03/10/2017 21:01

I work in a supermarket. Seen quite a few kids chewing baguettes in the years i've been there and I really don't care.

DiegoMadonna · 03/10/2017 21:02

Surely if you know you are going shopping you can anticipate this and take some snacks with you to give your child

But why bother if I can just give them a bit of the baguette that I'm gonna buy while I'm there?

Sirzy · 03/10/2017 21:02

I did buy it first a few times until the staff suggested just paying at the end so I did!

Booboostwo · 03/10/2017 21:03

I always do this with my DCs and so does everyone else here (in France). The person serving at the cheese and meat counter also always offers DCs little slices of various cheeses and salamis. DD had a ritual of eating a banana at the supermarket, which had to be weighed so, of course, we waited till after it had gone through the till, but there was one lovely lady at the butcher's counter who should weigh the banana for her and give us a ticket for the till so DD would no have to wait. DD is 6yo now and every time the cashiers see her they remind her of the babana dégustation en place!

Orangebird69 · 03/10/2017 21:04

donkey - I online shop or leave ds at dms as much as I can. But when neither is possible, what do you suggest my 23mo toddler would respond positively to? Because you seem to have the answer and you're not sharing..

AnnieAnoniMouse · 03/10/2017 21:06

It's totally fine. Supermarkets really don't care.

She was probably not even really looking at what you we're doing, it's far more likely she was thinking about her next task or how long until her next tea break.

Charolais · 03/10/2017 21:07

If my blood glucose is getting low I’ll scoff on a bag of crisps and give them the empty bag to scan. People will let their child eat stuff like chicken nuggets from the deli and give the check-out person the empty container to scan. (U.S.)

DeadGood · 03/10/2017 21:07

"toddlers are never too young to learn the word no."

Worst motto I've seen on here for a while

Pengggwn · 03/10/2017 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheHungryDonkey · 03/10/2017 21:09

I have a child with autism and one with adhd. I don’t care about screaming meltdowns. I use the word no. No no no no no. As far as I’m concerned this is a black and white issue. Unpaid goods in supermarkets in the UK are not for consumption. Paid goods in the supermarket are fine to be consumed. I think it’s shocking so many people think it’s OK. Clearly I expect people to have much higher morals. Explains why customers used to steal the chocolate in my cafe so often. Oh I’ll pay in a minute. Bollocks did they. The more middle class the were the more they ‘forgot’ to pay.

DiegoMadonna · 03/10/2017 21:11

As far as I’m concerned this is a black and white issue

But clearly it is not, for a lot of people.

Pengggwn · 03/10/2017 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Migraleve · 03/10/2017 21:12

Surely if you know you are going shopping you can anticipate this and take some snacks with you to give your child

But why bother if I can just give them a bit of the baguette that I'm gonna buy while I'm there?

It's been well covered in the thread why you should bother. Is it really too much hassle to take a snack when you go out with your toddler?

TheHungryDonkey · 03/10/2017 21:12

True Diego. That doesn’t mean they are right and I am wrong.

DiegoMadonna · 03/10/2017 21:15

It's been well covered in the thread why you should bother

Has it? Just because some people deem it unacceptable does not mean that it is necessarily unacceptable.

Pengggwn thankfully there are times in everyday life where people use common sense above the letter of the law. I have asked a staff member before if I should pay first and they said no. A PP above said they used to pay first and were told not to bother. This is common sense prevailing.