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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School lateness reception

66 replies

lilly0 · 03/10/2017 11:20

My dd is 4 just turned 4 actually so under school age. I have narcolepsy just been diagnosed so trying to tweak medicines I take my medication 3 times per day , I very much struggle to wake up I get sleep inertia where I feel very groggy , I have multiple alarm clocks which I can turn off in my sleep , DD obviously can't wake herself up so it's down to me she has been late a number of times already 4 times, I also work school sent me a letter about her lateness I talk to the school support worker about my issues and they know about my illness but still sent me a letter.

I am still having teething problems with my medications and waking up but I have fully engaged with school and I have been working with my neurologist aibu to think that sending me letters is unfair when DD is under compulsory school age and I have a genuine illness ?

OP posts:

Gilead · 03/10/2017 15:19

5rivers, you are aware op has a disability?

sharksDen · 03/10/2017 15:20

I am seriously thinking about home education this year until she reaches five.

At what time would her lessons begin?

Do you think she's be so "amazing" if it weren't for being taught at school?

Gilead · 03/10/2017 15:31

Why would lessons have to begin at nine? It doesn't matter what time they begin. The op has narcolepsy, she's doing her best in a very difficult situation, it's not lazy, she can't help going to sleep, or being sleepy, or not waking when the alarm goes off.

Butterymuffin · 03/10/2017 15:31

Don't see how you would be able to do home ed for her if you also work?

Maybe tell us what you already have tried that doesn't work. It's no good if people say 'get someone to ring you' if you know you don't wake for the phone.

Gilead · 03/10/2017 15:33

lilly0, sometimes the meds just don't work, sometimes they need increasing, other times changing. DD found Modafinal worked for a while but then she had to change to something else. Persevere, it's great when you get the right one. Having said that, dd missed her nine o' clock lecture this morning. She's now given a timetable to the rest of the house so that they will ensure she's up!

eyebrowsonfleek · 03/10/2017 15:35

They send the letters out automatically- even to parents whose children miss school because of medical appointments.

If I were you I’d focus on having backup. I’d leave an alarm in your dd’s room for starters and see if you can put a lamp or radio on a timer or get someone to phone you in the mornings or something.

lalalalyra · 03/10/2017 15:36

Are you on the Narcolepsy in the UK facebook group? There is lots of people on there with a wealth of experience and ideas that can help.

JessicaEccles · 03/10/2017 15:37

I think there is also a concern that your DD could potentially be left unsupervised. What if she decided to leave the house or touch something electrical and you don't wake and hear her?
You need some system put in place- perhaps she could get picked up by a childminder or neighbour?

Urubu · 03/10/2017 15:44

An alarm clock that you would need to get up to turn off seems like an interesting suggestion.

cottonwoolbrain · 03/10/2017 16:22

OP I was wondering if a wake up call system might help. Looks like you'd have to pay for anything over the basic service, but if it saves problems it may be worth a try

RebelRogue · 03/10/2017 16:28

How late are you ?

SockEatingMonster · 03/10/2017 16:28

That's interesting, MrsHathaway, I hadn't considered that. Maybe it would be easier if EYFS was limited to school-readiness with formal learning not starting until Year 1. I do wonder if starting off so early actually disadvantages the children who are less ready to learn at such a young age and as a consequence struggle more and grow up believing they're not as clever. Of course I have absolutely no evidence to back that up, and I'm sure people with more child development experience than me have already considered that!!

Apologies if I was barking up the wrong tree coddiwomple, and apologies to OP for the massive thread hijack

ArcheryAnnie · 03/10/2017 16:45

The op has narcolepsy, she's doing her best in a very difficult situation, it's not lazy, she can't help going to sleep, or being sleepy, or not waking when the alarm goes off.

Gilead I posted on this thread, not to berate the OP for being "lazy" or "sleepy" or whatever, but to address the two points in her post: that when her DD gets to school isn't an issue as she's under compulsory school age (it is), and whether it's unfair that she, the OP, has got letters from the school (it's not unfair - it's understandable that they upset her, but the school isn't trying to be mean).

Gilead · 04/10/2017 17:26

Archery Apologies if I've got the wrong end of the stick.

martellandginger · 04/10/2017 17:45

You are not going to get lee way. In our school it has a staggered starting which gives parents 20 mins to drop off. On 21 minutes the kids are sitting learning the next phonemes as part of their learning to read. Do you need to employ some help?

Alanna1 · 04/10/2017 20:03

I would talk to the school. Could you afford to pay someone a small amount to drop by daily (e.g. a TA on their way to school). Is there a parent you could arrange to drop by? Could your parents or a friend ring every day till you answer? Etc.

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