School lateness reception

[lilly0]

My dd is 4 just turned 4 actually so under school age. I have narcolepsy just been diagnosed so trying to tweak medicines I take my medication 3 times per day , I very much struggle to wake up I get sleep inertia where I feel very groggy , I have multiple alarm clocks which I can turn off in my sleep , DD obviously can't wake herself up so it's down to me she has been late a number of times already 4 times, I also work school sent me a letter about her lateness I talk to the school support worker about my issues and they know about my illness but still sent me a letter.

I am still having teething problems with my medications and waking up but I have fully engaged with school and I have been working with my neurologist aibu to think that sending me letters is unfair when DD is under compulsory school age and I have a genuine illness ?

They have to use technology as part of the curriculum. Reception isn't just about learning to count. You can't seriously consider keeping her off school just because you got a letter you don't like.

Can I say firstly I realise you are not some mum who can't be arsed to get up..

However It is very disruptive and where your DD is is not the only reason to be on time..My DC has ADHD so we have to leave 10 minutes earlier than we need to account for any delays..So sometimes we are early and gate isn't open and sometimes we are on time. People coming in the classroom late then disturb him and he almost has to be resettled in for the day so in turn he probably then disturbs people.

You do need to find a way through this..Is it that it takes you a long time to come round? if so set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier , go to bed take medication earlier.

I would try and work to find a solution while she is in reception rather than defering her and then trying to do it again when she is compulsory school age when you could be fined for been late .

I also am wondering what time DD is going to sleep if she doesn't wake you up.

She goes to bed at 7pm.

Do you have a neighbour who'd happily ring the doorbell until you wave through the window? Not as a first line, but as a backup. If your curtains aren't open when they leave for work, kind of thing.

Could a neighbour or a local friend help get you awake? I'd contact a charity for narcolepsy and see what they may be able to suggest.

Maybe your family or DH could ring the house at a certain time each morning to make sure your up, when you have to answer the phone it might waken you better than an alarm clock

If you genuinely have nobody who can phone and help talk to School - what time do you need to wake up? Perhaps the school attendance officer/senco or something could phone when they get into work if the timings work?

to be fair i think they should still send the letters. Just don't pay much heed to them whilst you adjust things. They can't very well just not document the lateness for your lO

The trouble is that one child being late has the potential to disrupt the whole class, especially when they are so young. So it's not just your DDs education that could be being affected.

I agree with a PP, the letters will be automatically generated by the IT system.

Homeschooling just because you don't like receiving a lateness letter is crazy. Have you actually looked into the early years curriculum? It isn't just letters and numbers, and actually a lot of it is based on learning, playing and cooperating with other children and adults.

I really think an alarm clock for your dd is the obvious solution here.

I'm sorry you're going through this, OP. unfortunately some of the posters don't seem to realise you have no control over your illness and how it affects you, to the point of being unable to wake up when you need to. I remember when my husband would take his pain relief and couldn't make it onto his bed. One of the builders said he was actually afraid my dh had died, as he slept so soundly in his chair while he used an electric saw, hammered and drilled in the same room. I hope you get the meds to the right level soon. Are their any charitable organisations that could help you in the mornings, or could you afford to pay someone to help you in the mornings?

I think talking to the school again is a good idea, and making sure they are aware that you know lateness isn't ideal, and that you are managing as best you can at the moment.

I do understand that you have a lot of things to deal with at the moment, but the school will be juggling the attendance records of everyone else who is late, too, and sending out standard letters. It isn't great for your DD always to be late (it's not just about school attainment) and it also isn't good for the other kids in her class, either. So while I do understand your annoyance, I think you have to let that go and try to understand that they are trying to do the best for your daughter.

Same thing happened the following year when he was in Reception, but still under compulsory starting age.

Around here it's completely irrelevant if they are under starting age. Once they start, they are treated equally with kids over the starting age, and it makes sense. Once they are at school, you have to treat it seriously, and accept the same rules for everybody. They will do the same curriculum, have the same expectations this year and the next, so there's no benefit for anyone to have a child behaving like a tourist whilst the others are working on whatever they are learning in Reception.

OP, I would be in touch with Narcolepsy uk (if you are in the UK), people who suffer the same problem will have some good advice.

Rolling my eyes at some of the responses here - as if you don't understand it's important, and that telling you that will magically negate the effects of your medication.

I've been on several meds over the years that make it very difficult to wake up, probably including what you're taking now. Hopefully this will be a short term issue as your body adjusts, not sure how long it's been but I've found things have improved after 3-4 weeks or thereabouts. I think it's perfectly reasonable to expect some leeway for a short period like that. Your health and ability to safely care for your daughter is the most important thing.

I can't take this sort of medication at the moment as my twins wake up so often through the night and I'd be unable to get up, but in my case that means more pain for me, not falling unconscious. Is there any way your partner can take a bit of holiday while you adjust?

There are alarm clocks that are difficult to turn off (e.g. Where you have to stand on a pad for x seconds to turn it off, one that literally rolls away etc) which may help but time is probably the main thing here.

I think you are doing well being so open with the school. However Home Ed would probably only make matters worse as you won't 'need' to be ready at a certain time.

Our local school that has issues with persistent lateness for whatever reason send out a couple of members of staff to the child's home and basically hammer on the door until the child is ready and then take them to school. Could the FLO or someone else from school ring you until you get your meds sorted? Or can they offer some other support in the short term? It may be worth then speaking to your GP to get a clear understanding of your health issues and needs.

No ones saying she’s not thriving or that you aren’t caring for her - but despite that, and despite the fact she’s only 4, if she’s going to school, she really needs to get there on time. I agree an alarm clock for your daughter would be an idea.

Have you tried alarm clocks for the hard of hearing? Those that vibrate or are extra loud, like in this link

www.deafequipment.co.uk/catalogue/172/Alarm-clocks?gclid=CjwKCAjw6szOBRAFEiwAwzixBeEWBG4IKaJPt3TkzgOhxZiyiklxPtOd34haeHoCGD_E3t5gd3KOQRoCBRYQAvD_BwE

There are different types of equipment out there that can help. I just want to add that as an ex primary teacher, now homeschooling my autistic son, the majority of a child's knowledge at your daughters age op, will come from their parents/ carers. You may find that the school have concerns about your daughters safety in relation to your ability to care for your daughter (as a result of your narcolepsy). There are different groups out there, with more expert advice than I can offer.

But that's exactly what I meant coddiwomple. In many areas, including mine, the option to delay compulsory education until the term in which the child turns 5 has, in all practical ways, disappeared. The school starting age for children in those areas is now, in essence, the year in which they turn 5, with a full year of curriculum planned for it.

It's very different from the Reception class of my day which was a soft introduction to school in which many (most?) children did not start full time in September.

My musing was about how, at our primary at least, the Nursery class has essentially become the 'soft' part-time introduction to school that Reception used to provide.

(I wasn't suggesting that anyone defy school rules, btw, the absence I referred to was a long weekend, so 2 days out of a whole year of being present and on time for a child who doesn't legally need to be in school/nursery)

It's very different from the Reception class of my day which was a soft introduction to school in which many (most?) children did not start full time in September.

I think the change came about because the evidence showed that statistically children kept back from school until CSA never made up the disadvantage that gave them.

Which is to say that many individual children may have benefitted from another term or two at home, but that as a population younger children were doubly disadvantaged by (1) being younger in the class forever and (2) not having had that term or two in the classroom.

Deferring Reception until CSA is quite different from the old system of being allowed to wait until Christmas or Easter and joining an existing Reception class.

I am a summer baby and didn't go full time until November or January (can't remember) so I do remember that it was quite normal then. Perhaps funding was different too?

I think this is such a niche problem, you'd be best to contact a support group or charity specifically aimed at your condition. Surely they have some good suggestions.

It makes me a little concerned that you'd not be able to wake yourself or your DD in an emergency during the night, for instance. What is their advice?

I wasn't suggesting that anyone defy school rules

Me neither SockEatingMonster but don't get me started on the very existence of a curriculum that can't cope with a 4 year old being taken out of school for a few days, who set up these school programs that teachers must follow

An alarm clock in your dd's room might help unless she has similar issues.
I've been late before turning my alarm off half asleep and I don't have narcolepsy.
How about a loud alarm on the other side of the bedroom so that you have to actually get up out of bed and walk to them to turn it off.

Back in the '80s, my summer-born DC wasn't allowed to join reception until summer term, to her detriment - one short term of reception then straight into Year 1.

AFAIK, this was ILEA if not national policy? I remember a neighbour's (faith) school coped by giving summer born children 2 terms each in reception, Y1, and Y2. It sounded brilliant but faith didn't work for us so my DC went to the local primary.

I am seriously thinking about home education this year until she reaches five.

You aren't thinking that because its good for DD, you are thinking that will make your life easier! Bad reason.