What would you tell yourself in your thirties?

[splendidisolation]

Shamelessly stealing the other OP's thread about your twenties.

You hear that quite often, "what I would tell.my youger self", generally aimed at the you you were in your twenties.

But what would you tell you in your thirties, in retrospect?

Things I'm pleased I did:
Kept up my career
Retrained
Contributed to pension
Prioritised mortgage over new cars etc

Things I wish I hadn't done:
Worried about my looks
Wreck my hair (takes longer to grow back now)
Worried about how people perceived me
Worried about being a crap mother
Took my marriage for granted (it's survived, but it was rocky for a while)
Pursued friendships that maybe weren't right for me

Get a separate bank account and don't get those loans he can't get in his own name... you are stuck with them when he leaves!!

Retrain and get a better job.

You can have everything but not at the same time.

Your health is your wealth don't squander it, start running and keep going

Leave him if your gut tells you to. And don't look back.

Leave him now!

Great thread!

For me, I'd tell myself:

Sort your pension out
Stop dicking about with utter fuckwits who play games. If it's meant to be, it will
Stop buying stuff to make yourself feel better, it doesn't make you feel better and when you are in debt, you feel even worse
Travel as much as you can, do as much as you can, because those memories last a lifetime.

Don't despair if you are still single in your early 30's! Don't settle for any half-decent chap that comes along just because you are worried that you won't meet the man of your dreams because you deserve much better.

Love the people who matter in your life. You will cry rivers when they are killed in accidents, within months of each other. Your life will never be the same again.

Don't waste time on a Career you hate but continue with in a futile bid to create financial security. That won't matter when those people are gone and you sucumb to a stress induced Heart Attack very young.

That no matter what life throws at you, you will survive. It may be different but you will still love the sun on your face and the wind in your hair !!!

I’m 39 and I’m wondering if in 10 years I’m going to be wishing I had got shot of my DH because I don’t trust him whatsoever and because he doesn’t love me.

India - it sounds like you already know the answer to that question..

Gambling isn't an illness it's a choice he has made. Stop believing he'll change if you love him a little bit more.

India, do the right thing for you. Then in 10 years time you can read threads like this and thank yourself.

Save as much money as you can
Start a pension
The early years of child rearing don't last forever- enjoy each moment
Yes he is a selfish disrespectful bully

Do NOT stay in a shit marriage because you are scared of sharing custody of dc.

Thanks guys..,,I'm 38. Work part time. 2 under 3. Some days I feel like I don't know how I'm going to get it all done. I feel like I'm doing 2 jobs probably not very well.

This thread helps.

It's not too late. It's not to late to start a new hobby or interest (or new job or career).

Having said that I would also say crack on, time is shifting quickly enough. You don't want to look back and think I wish I had...

Do not leave London. Get another job. Do not sell your flat.

Don't give up that OU degree! You'll only be starting it again 10 years later. It will cost you more and be much harder to do with two children at home and a house to run.

I'm 37 and just started my exercise kick and got back into work after 4 years. I would have told myself to go back earlier or possibly not give up at all. And to have started exercising earlier and told myself that I'm bloody so so hot right now!

If he cheats once, don't take him back as he will cheat again and again , and when he does no it wasn't your fault, it is all on him

Have more children. The older you get the harder it will be to conceive.
Keep up the good parenting - u'll get there and be amazed at how amazing DS is.
Keep and be good to old friends.

Move jobs

Haha just read the title properly I'm actually in my early thirties so can't really comment