3 year olds aren't usually this stubborn are they?! DD is so lazy!

[BellyBean]

Honestly, DD 3.5 won't do anything I ask her to do unless there's an incentive (positive or negative). I'm convinced her idea of a perfect week would be to play naked in the house all day long.

The amount of times I've had to struggle to get us out the house to do something she loves, because as soon as I mention hair, clothes or shoes there's outright refusal or 'I can't do it' when she can when she rarely wants. I'm still dressing her and putting her shoes on most of the time or we'd never go out. Don't get me started on walking anywhere once we are out...

I end up using an episode of TV as a bargaining chip, or you can't do x til you've done y. It seems a slippery slope.

Nursery describe her as particularly strong-willed. Is it just her, something I'm doing or is this normal?

My daughter is just like this. She's so stubborn that in town she will just lie in the floor in shops and there is no budging her. I have tried incentives like shall we go to the park or if she's tired does she want to go to a cafe for a drink and a rest. Sometimes it works other times still no progress. She still asks for " a carry" but I've realised she's got hyper mobility although not diagnosed yet and that's one of the signs- Tired after short walks. I try to remember to offer choices but sometimes I'm all out of ideas

*on the floor not in it

That was our son LJ. People stopped and asked if he was OK! But he has orthotic insoles now.

Would she respond to a star chart with all the morning/evening steps on it? It really helped DD whenever she was going through the stubbornest phases.

MY DD just turned 3 is exactly like this. Wants to go out park etc but doesn't see the need to get dressed to be able to do so after alot of 'no's' it's then 'can't do it' 'you do it'. Then proceeds to run away/kick/just generally be a pain!

It's driving me insane Just a phase hopefully!

I am sure you already tried this. With my DS he is the same and he has just turned 4. As soon as he wakes up I make him get dressed. ( Unless it's the weekend) otherwise we too get into these battles.

I am not here yet, but cribbing :) I was talking with my mum about various approaches she had with us as kids. I pretty much don't respond well to authoritarian and suspect that was true as a child. I asked her as I thought that would have been fun. She said she just learned quickly what worked and what didn't with us. Apparently it was my youngest sibling who was the feisty one, and your description sounded very familiar. Car seat? Nope? Clothes? Nope. She basically lived in pink wellies and a fairy dress for quite a while around that age. I think my mum decided that some clothes were better than no clothes :) the thing that we learnt with her was that choices worked in the way that people have described. And that some things were worth having a battle about and some weren't. She had a highly developed sense of autonomy and things went well when that was acknowledged.... so I think it's not unusual for three year olds to be like this.

Wondering if I'll remember this when my own is doing the same ....

She is now a totally functioning adult and was the least trouble of all us as a teenager, if that is any reassurance!

miaow with you on selective amnesia!

Really good to hear the stories. My frame of reference is one who is fiercely independent and one who is eager to please, so nice to know DD is normal too.