Around about this time two years ago, I got pregnant with our second baby. On December 23rd we went for a scan and discovered the baby had died. I miscarried shortly after, in traumatic circumstances, after the hospital refused to do a D&C. I experienced contractions and pain like labour before delivering my tiny baby in its sac alone and terrified in the early hours. We buried the baby under a special plant in our garden. A few months after, I fell pregnant with my rainbow and I now have a beautiful 8 month old whom I adore. If I'm honest, I feel a bit battered and bruised after a difficult couple of years. My pregnancy was tough following my mc and dd2 was resuscitated at birth having been born with the cord around her neck. I'd been induced because of reduced movement. I don't talk about my mc much, except to try and help other people going through the same. I follow Tommy's on Facebook and I'd like to something to raise money for them which I've mentioned to family. I'm helping my best friend through a pregnancy after loss and I'm finding it tough going as it hits a raw nerve. I want to help her though. I mentioned this to my dm and mil and the general consensus seems to be that they feel I should be 'over it' by now. That I have dd2 and that fixes everything. When I talk about running a race to raise money they give me a look. They think I shouldnt follow Tommys or talk about what happened because 'its over now'. Mil tells me that everything happens for a reason and I'm lucky it happened because I have dd2 and my mum says 'it's in the past". Aibu to feel that I'm never going to be the same as I was before and just be ok with that? I dont expect on going sympathy, but I don't want to pretend it didn't happen either.