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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this surely isn't my responsibility

106 replies

theonememoryIforget · 02/10/2017 15:48

DH is not working full time due to ill health, so reluctantly I have registered with a supply teaching agency.

One reference has duly been returned without a problem. However, a school I worked at has since seen the Head been dismissed.

The school were awful to work for/at. Anyway the agency can't get a reference so have told me to contact the school. AIBU to think surely this doesn't lie with me?

OP posts:
Original poster
theonememoryIforget · 02/10/2017 18:41

I probably was not clear before - no one who now works there knows me.

Thanks margaret

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/10/2017 18:46

I probably was not clear before - no one who now works there knows me.

You were clear. We all understand that. It's irrelevant.

Original poster
theonememoryIforget · 02/10/2017 18:49

It is surely relevant when replying to a poster who suggests that I get a reference from someone who remembers me. Anyway, not important.

OP posts:
WhatToDoAboutThis2017 · 02/10/2017 18:57

Nothing in isitme88's post suggests to me that she thinks you know the DH or HoY or they remember you. I get the impression she was thinking of others you could try if the HM doesn't work out.

LuckLuckLUCK · 02/10/2017 18:58

Definitely hide the thread OP. You are coming across as quite unnasertive and that can bring out the bully in some people.

SecretEscapesWannabe · 02/10/2017 19:00

Honestly Op, you need to show some bottom. You have been told endlessly on this thread how to go about it. I'm bailing out now because you don't seem to want to help yourself but expect it to all fall into your lap.

Treadlightly · 02/10/2017 19:11

Wow! What a load of mean unkind comments!!!
I'm sorry OP i had a similar problem & had to chase up teaching references for supply - it took ages. & in my case no one had left & it had only been a couple of years since I had left the school.
I was initially a bit reluctant to do supply but it's fine & I do enjoy it now (apart from teaching PE in year 6...)

Hope it all works out 💐💐💐

Original poster
theonememoryIforget · 02/10/2017 19:27

I have already said I will call tomorrow.

OP posts:
Slimthistime · 02/10/2017 20:16

Secret "Honestly Op, you need to show some bottom"

That might work for OP but not sure what kind of reference I'd get for mine....

eleflump · 02/10/2017 20:36

Good luck OP - I hope you get it sorted Flowers

holdthewine · 02/10/2017 21:10

Slim Grinthat made me laugh. What a nasty bunch on MN tonight on several thread - so thank God for you and a couple of others. Poor woman has a sick husband (who knows what is going on in her life) so is reluctantly needing to apply for work. Procedures have changed and she's now told she has to chase something up which, previously, the agency handles. Give her a break.

SilverySurfer · 02/10/2017 21:22

I suppose it depends how badly you want/need the job. To be honest it is irrelevant if you know anyone at the old school or not. I assume like businesses, schools keep records - so all you have to do is call the office manager, say I worked there from/to, would you please provide a reference. Of course they won't be able to comment other to confirm dates of employment, attendance etc, but that is all that is needed.

It is perfectly normal to be asked IMO, I was in HR before retiring and we received many requests for references from ex-employees.

Original poster
theonememoryIforget · 02/10/2017 21:28

Yes, I appreciate that, but having ignored several requests from the agency I am not convinced I will have the magic touch. In any case, I don't even kmow if there is a job. We shall see. Doesn't matter.

OP posts:
stopfuckingshoutingatme · 02/10/2017 21:33

It does matter ! Your husband is sick and you have to put bread on the table . Don't underestimate the difference a polite call will be versus a generic employment agency message

Good luck and if this thread makes you feel bad hide it . People will stop posting mean stuff eventually

Sayyouwill · 02/10/2017 21:41

Oh well. Guess you can't have the reference then. Poor DH will just have to go back to work.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 02/10/2017 21:45

Did you have to be quite so unkind there ? Hope you feel GOOD about yourself for that

Sayyouwill · 02/10/2017 21:51

What exactly was mean about that?

Sayyouwill · 02/10/2017 21:53

Someone has to work. She is being very dismissive of any suggestion. So if she doesn't pull her finger out and get the reference, she can't have the reference and therefore can't have the job.

Original poster
theonememoryIforget · 02/10/2017 21:55

Say, i think what you are perhaps not understanding is that the school may not respond to my requests just as they haven't to the agency.

Me ringing up is not a magic spell.

Of course DH will not be working until he is ready. I might not have got any work through the agency anyway. But you really are being rather spiteful, you know.

OP posts:
Sayyouwill · 02/10/2017 22:05

I think you're the one who doesn't understand.
Yes a phone call isn't a magic spell but you also say that you've never had to do it before? So how do you know they won't be responsive?
As someone who works with agencies I can certainly tell you that at my work I'm more inclined to be responsive to an actual person than an agent who submits and application and doesn't even know your name without a reference number attached. Way easier dealing with the people who it matters to.
You're lack of giving a shit is very telling.

Tiredtomybones · 02/10/2017 22:07

I get it. I'm a sahm and since I left my previous job every single one of the managers and senior people I worked with have left. Every one. There is no one there who remembers me. However, I know that my file will remain so I would ring, say to the person who answers that I used to work there and need a reference, could s/he put me through to the person who can help please? Politely ask the name of the person you speak to first and the name of the new contact so that if you do have to chase it, you can ask to speak to X person. Good luck.

Original poster
theonememoryIforget · 02/10/2017 22:09

You have no idea, say

OP posts:
SandyDenny · 02/10/2017 22:24

Are you near enough to the school to call in and speak to someone in the office?

I don't understand your assuption that no one will want to help you, most people, if asked nicely and in person, will be happy to spend a couple of minutes looking in the files or on their computer system.

And at the same time it's totally understandable that if the same person gets a anonymous email request from someone they have no connection with and no reason to prioritise that request then they won't bother.

Penny4UrThoughts · 02/10/2017 22:34

Op, I don't know about teachers so this might be possible, but if you get nowhere with the school, are you still in touch with or can get in touch with the head or head of year that was there while you were there, to provide a reference instead?

I've done this before (well not in teaching, but with an ex manager, as the new manager doesn't know me at all)

Good luck!

Maelstrop · 02/10/2017 22:40

In teaching, the agency contacts the school and chases references. Given that schools are charged up to £5000 for introducing a teacher and releasing them from the agency, in cases where the teacher is then given a full time post, I think the agency should bloody well do the leg work! It is not up to the teacher to hound the school for references. Yes, she can phone, but she is unlikely to be successful if the agency can't get one.

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