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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Why the hell did i agree to petsit this cat??

86 replies

Whenwillitgeteasier · 02/10/2017 07:57

So I've been seeing this chap for a few months, and he's due to go abroad for work this week for about a month. I agreed to petsit his cat as the cattery let him down and he's a bit stuck (we already have two but they're very friendly to other cats so thought it would be fine and I'd keep them separated for a while).

Cat came here Friday so have it in the kitchen with litter tray and I've never known a cat shit so much (normal poos) and the smell is unreal! I've had lots of cats but dear god never experienced this. Ah well can't be helped and cat send perfectly happy and friendly. Unfortunately One of my cats has disappeared since Saturday morning so I'm worried his nose has been put out of joint :-(

Anyway, when my chap brought the cat round all that came with was a third of a bag of Tesco value cat litter (I've already gone out and bought decent odour absorbing litter as the smell is so bad!) and NO food at all.

If it were me I'd have brought vast supplies with the cat. Last week i asked if he was up to date with flea treatment, i was told 'he's fine, no fleas' so i asked when was he last treated to be told a month ago so i said he was due another in that case. I was adamant about this after a previous flea infestation so I'm religious about trading my cats and have a flea free house. Anyway, he's ordered treatments to be delivered here but he clearly thought i was going overboard.

To top it off cat shat the carrier when he brought him over, when he phoned me last night i asked if the carrier was still outside, when he said it was i said 'well I'm not dealing with it' to which he replied 'oh just leave it outside till i get back and the rain will wash it'. I was at work and shattered and busy so didn't really register enough to respond.

I don't even want to continue seeing this guy, I've been a bit unsure for a while and after a crap shag saturday night and realising I'm not going to miss him at all when he's away i know there's no future but he jets off today so I'm going to deal with it when he gets back i guess.

I've just got to suck up having the cat as it's too late to do anything but WIBU to tell him I don't know what planet he's on that he thought it was ok to leave a shitty carrier in my back garden for a month and not leaving any supplies and that he's taking the piss?

I'm so cross with myself for agreeing to this!!

OP posts:
Original poster
Whenwillitgeteasier · 02/10/2017 10:54

He's still not here and I'm getting more cross lol! Yeah i could feed the cat at his house although it would be a massive pain in the butt but it is doable.

OP posts:
GabsAlot · 02/10/2017 11:05

can u chck about the vaccinations with him op

u might end up just having to go round his house to feed the cat

Foxysoxy01 · 02/10/2017 11:11

I wonder if he will actually turn up before his flight or if he has a feeling it's over and so will not bother with coming round till his time away!

He sounds very cheeky! Hopefully you can get something sorted for the day and get your own back asap.

MyfatheristheKing · 02/10/2017 11:17

Any sign yet? He sounds so cheeky!

Original poster
Whenwillitgeteasier · 02/10/2017 11:28

No sign yet!! I'm hoping I've not just acquired another cat 😱😱😱

OP posts:
ArseholesOnToast · 02/10/2017 11:42

I think what you've lost in banoffee pie you've gained in cat.

VimFuego101 · 02/10/2017 11:50

How far away does he live, can you not just take the cat back to his house and drop in once a day to feed him there? The cat sounds stressed and will be happier in his own home, even if his owner isn't there.

storminabuttercup · 02/10/2017 11:55

I'd make him book it in a cattery. Did he turn up?

onalongsabbatical · 02/10/2017 12:01

He ain't coming, OP. You officially have a cat/cocklodger. Time to make a plan b.
This would include a plan for exactly how you're going to deal with CF when he returns, because, really, he is a massive CF and he owes you now, bigtime.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 02/10/2017 12:06

Did he turn up?

If he vanishes on you, you're still winning. You'll have to call the cat Banoffee.

DO3271 · 02/10/2017 12:16

Hmm wonder if he was conveniently running late and couldn't manage to pop in and clean up the shit and give you money!! Well distance is no excuse, he can pay food money and more really.

SnowiestMountain · 02/10/2017 12:24

Oh OP!! What time is his flight, I agree, the best thing might be to take the cat back to his and feed it etc there, absolutely not ideal but perhaps the best of a bad situation. Some people are unbelieveable!

FuzzyOwl · 02/10/2017 12:39

I agree about taking the cat to his and getting him to reimburse you fuel costs. You can also tell him he'll need to pay for the litter and food or else he will be coming back to a lot of cleaning!

How people treat their pets is a massive thing to me and someone who leaves their cat for a week with hardly any litter, no food and possibly fleas or worms would not be someone I would be continuing a relationship with.

Original poster
Whenwillitgeteasier · 02/10/2017 12:54

He's been! Phew... I was getting worried.

I think he'd gathered I was pissed off, I was very cool with him. He left me £40 for food and litter and I have his keys, will shut the cat in spare room and if mine doesn't come back I'm taking this cat back to his house and will just have to go over daily.

He was in a massive rush but i made him take the shitty carrier away in a bin bag!

Not addressed the dumping thing as there was literally no time after cat discussions. I may have to do it while he's away which is hardly ideal but it's a whole bloody month!

OP posts:
Floralnomad · 02/10/2017 13:03

Just text him in a couple of days ( or tonight) and say that you are going to have to take the cat back to his and that the last few days have made it clear to you that the relationship is not what you want so consider it over . Then say you are more than happy to feed cat at his but understand if he'd rather organise somebody else . Job done .

SparklyMagpie · 02/10/2017 13:05

Have you rang him? Where the fuck is he?

SparklyMagpie · 02/10/2017 13:05

Haha oops I hadn't refreshed before posting

Butterymuffin · 02/10/2017 13:06

I'd just say as little as possible while he's away and dump at the end when he's retrieved the cat.

Alternative, evil but gratifying tack: you use the month he's away to rehome cat with nicer owner who will buy better cat litter, then when he comes back, feign no prior knowledge of him ('sorry, who are you? Think you're mistaking me for someone else') or of ever having had the cat Wink

Gottalovesummer · 02/10/2017 13:07

For all those saying take the cat back to his and feed it there, a month is a long time for the cat to be alone apart from when OP pops in

I hope you can keep the cat at yours,you've said yours are friendly so fingers crossed it works out okay.

He's definitely a knob though.

FuzzyOwl · 02/10/2017 13:12

Hopefully the cat settles in the spare room and your other cat comes home. £40 for food and litter for a month doesn't sound much to me, especially if you need to flea treat and worm.

FuzzyOwl · 02/10/2017 13:13

@Gottalovesummer For all those saying take the cat back to his and feed it there, a month is a long time for the cat to be alone apart from when OP pops in it is a long time but one of the OP's cats has already disappeared because of this cat staying so taking the cat to its own home is preferable to the OP losing her cat.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 02/10/2017 13:21

One bag of cat litter will hardly do a month, anyway! Chancer.

Ontheboardwalk · 02/10/2017 13:33

Gottalovesummer a month in a cattery is a very long time as well - if it would even be allowed in one for lack of jabs etc.

A month is also a long time for OPs cat to be missing because of the cat lodger.

Bloke is acting really shitty towards his cat and OP. Best outcome would be if all the cats get on over the next couple of days and OP takes on the poor cat and they both tell him to do one.

AlternativeTentacle · 02/10/2017 13:39

What was he planning to do if you hadn't stepped in?

Original poster
Whenwillitgeteasier · 02/10/2017 13:41

The cat is definitely preferable to my shitty stbxbf. I'm still smarting about my banoffee tart which i didn't even bloody mention due to sorting out cat issues.

How acceptable is it too dump someone over email/text these day? A month is a long time...

OP posts:
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