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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Need MIL Advice!

34 replies

ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 01:49

My MIL and BIL are coming to visit - they live in another country. Should I feel concerned about what they'd think of my stuff? Like I'm buying so much etc

I have shoes in boxes in sight. Should I throw away the boxes and keep them in a non-descript box?

OP posts:
kittensinmydinner1 · 01/10/2017 02:03

Why would it matter ?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 01/10/2017 02:03

You’re asking if your MIL and BIL will judge you for keeping shoes in shoe boxes?

Relax and have a Wine

They won’t be looking at your shoes boxes. They’ll be too busy checking for cobwebs Wink

RoryGilmoreWasAwful · 01/10/2017 02:04

Huh? Why would they judge your shoe storage? Who are they?

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 01/10/2017 02:06

Is this them?

Need MIL Advice!
kittensinmydinner1 · 01/10/2017 02:06

That was phrased badly.
Why would you care ? Did you buy the stuff with your own money ? That you had earned or is there something strange about 'your stuff ' ? As in hundreds of boxes of unopened shoe boxes piled all over the house in the manner of someone with a serious shopping problem? Why should you be concerned?

Original poster
ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 02:09

DH and I have a lot of shoes.

I bought some with my own money, some with DH money.

There's nothing strange about my stuff, just that there's a lot of them.

OP posts:
SouthWindsWesterly · 01/10/2017 03:05

It's quite simple - if they don't like your home then they are quite welcome to pay and stay elsewhere

Topseyt · 01/10/2017 03:19

Why should they care? Are there armies of shoes marching all over your house?

junebirthdaygirl · 01/10/2017 04:34

Are they coming from a poor country? Maybe move all boxes into your bedroom if they are as they may have different standards of whats normal.

TheCatsMother99 · 01/10/2017 04:37

How many shoes is a lot of shoes? Do they fill every single room?!

Original poster
ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 04:45

Not fill but let's just say so many for two people!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 01/10/2017 04:46

Are you insinuating that you're a hoarder? Is your home overwhelmed with "stuff?" If the answer is no, I fail to see how they would even be able to see all of your shoes.

Original poster
ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 04:46

junebirthdaygirl

Yes they're from a third world country, but they're upper class there.

OP posts:
Original poster
ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 04:47

Aquamarine1029

Yes, I'm a hoarder. Not to the level of those being featured on TV but definitely not normal.

OP posts:
annandale · 01/10/2017 04:58

It sounds like you are the one who is concerned.

Do you have someone to talk to about this?

Original poster
ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 05:08

Yes, I'm concerned that she'd think I'm buying a lot! And no - I don't have someone to talk to about this. lol. That's why I started the thread in the first place.

OP posts:
SpottedGingham · 01/10/2017 08:06

They're coming to see you, not to count your shoes! Hmm

Mum2OneTeen · 01/10/2017 08:59

I think that if you are concerned about your MIL & BIL noticing/judging your shoe hoard you could either tidy them up & put them away so that they aren't lying around and visible. If your wardrobe space isn't large enough, maybe you could temporarily store the excess in a loft or shed? Or failing that, perhaps you could bag the excess and leave with a neighbour, friend, or even take them to your workspace if there's somewhere you could store them for a couple of weeks (I'm presuming your family are only staying for a week or two?).

I notice that you are worried about the actual boxes, you probably don't want to throw away the actual boxes as they are an intrinsic part of the value of the collection, but usually cardboard boxes can be unfolded and collapsed flat which would make them easier to store.

This is presuming that you and your DP do in fact have a huge collection of shoes & boxes, otherwise a general tidy should be fine. I'm sure you're just over thinking about the shoe thing specifically because you are just a bit nervous about your DPs family coming to visit and being disapproving of you. As other PPs have said, I'm sure they're just coming to see you both and will be happy to spend time with you.

Good luck! It is always a bit stressful having family (especially in-laws) coming to stay.

Original poster
ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 09:06

Thank you, *Mum2OneTeen! I'll try your suggestion. I didn't think of folding the boxes. And yes, it's stressful!

OP posts:
ponzi · 01/10/2017 09:09

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Original poster
ReallyConvolutedCareerHistory · 01/10/2017 09:21

Yeah, also I probably have to explain that there was an incident many many years ago when the sister (now SIL) said I was with DH (then boyfriend) for his money. :/

This when at that time I was paying for our dates!

OP posts:
wobblywonderwoman · 01/10/2017 09:23

I don't think you have to hide them but I probably would - underbed storage boxes

Mustang27 · 01/10/2017 10:00

This is awesome!!! I have a shit tonne of shoes will my mil judge.

You win mumsnet for the most bizarre thing to worry about.

Narnia72 · 01/10/2017 10:03

How many pairs of shoes are we talking about? Is this a real concern, or symptomatic of worry about how they perceive you in general?

If it's hundreds and it's a tiny flat, then maybe you need to store them somewhere - do you have an attic, or under your bed. If it's so many that you'd need to pay for storage, you probably do have a shoe problem...

nonetcurtains · 01/10/2017 10:07

put the boxes together to make a big rectangle in the middle of the living room, chuck a blanket over it and call it a coffee table!