To discourage friendship between two three year olds?

[opheliacat]

DD has a friend her age. They are very close at nursery, so close that other parents have made aww, isn't it lovely they have such a close friendship noises.

The problem is the other little girl is not well behaved. She refuses to eat anything other than pizza, toast, crisps and so on. DD has started mimicking the phrase I don't eat that! The other girl also has a screaming habit which puts my nerves into jangles.

I also don't want DD being isolated with a sort of exclusive friendship.

So - AIBU?

YABU

It's nursery

They go there to play

How are you so informed of this child's eating habits?

Do you watch through windows

She's been on playdates here for over twenty four hours and I had to do a special Sainsburys visit!

You don't need to see her, have her round to your house on play dates etc if you don't want to.

But I don't think any nursery is going to stop two 3 year olds being friends or keep them away from each other simply because you don't like the girl

24 hours eh?

Maybe your DDs good behaviour will rub off on her friend

There is no harm in inviting other children around to play, but let them play together at nursery.

12 hours, actually. I was thinking 'whole day.'

It isn't so much that I dislike her - she's 3 - but i don't want my own child mimicking her behaviour, and I don't want her left out of other potential friendships.

YABU they are 3. You can't stop them playing together at nursery. Maybe your child will have behaviours that annoy other parents hopefully they won't try to ban friendships

You can't and should not influence friendships. Your daughter likes her for a reason, respect her choice

Well with the best will in the world.
You can't stop two children from playing together.

Urgh the screaming thing is awful. I'd ban it.

Hmm. They may only be 3 but the screaming & fussy eating would get on my nerves. As others have said, you can't actually separate them at nursery but you don't have to invite her over.

I think sometimes people can assume kids are better friends than they actually are. I suppose I'd like to ask if they can encourage her to play with some of the other children too.

If you said she was hitting your DD I'd have more sympathy. Fussy eating and screaming - meh. I'd just let her get on with it tbh. It could be worse!

Don't do playdates at 3!

Problem solved.

Oh, is it really? Ok everyone, no more replies needed, Nanny has all the answers. If the child never comes round, DD won't play with her at nursery and won't mimic her behaviour.

Yes yabu. Children will gravitate to whoever they want, the nursery can't and won't ban her from playing with the other girl... plus you'll probably find something wrong with the next child anyway

I wouldn't stop them playing together but I would stop the extended stays until she learns to behave better. Fussy eating is one thing (I've been there) but it's never too early to learn good manners. Your DD should learn to say no thank you if she doesn't want to eat a certain thing. Not eugh yuck I don't eat that! And as for the other child's tantrums. Next time say time to go home I think and mean it.

Bit of a difference between encouraging other friendships and banning one!

I certainly didn't do 12 hour play dates at 3

I didn't plan to, only

There was an emergency, apparently.

My son has eating/food aversions. He has suspected Aspergers but it’s not obvious. I’d be heartbroken if that was a reason for parents not to want their children to play with him 😕

Sarky much!

Yes she will still play with her at nursery - you cannot stop that and they (rightly) won't.

You however can invite other children round to yours (with their mothers) and encourage other friendships and behaviours.

Or, you can just sort it out yourself however you like.