To discourage friendship between two three year olds?

[opheliacat]

DD has a friend her age. They are very close at nursery, so close that other parents have made aww, isn't it lovely they have such a close friendship noises.

The problem is the other little girl is not well behaved. She refuses to eat anything other than pizza, toast, crisps and so on. DD has started mimicking the phrase I don't eat that! The other girl also has a screaming habit which puts my nerves into jangles.

I also don't want DD being isolated with a sort of exclusive friendship.

So - AIBU?

Never too young to hold your dd accountable for her own behaviour and no point fudging the issue by blaming another child for leading her astray. Your dd will be exposed to all sorts of undesirable behaviours and contrary opinions in the years to come. Some she will want to try out herself, that's totally normal - thats why we're not all carbon copues of pur parents.

And yes, not inviting this child round, or sending your dd round to hers, is as much as you can do, if you are moved to do anything.

She's been on playdates here for over twenty four hours'

What?

2x12 hour emergencies?

You must know her parents pretty well.

My son has eating/food aversions.

Which is more common that people realise. If it's only occasionally for meals I can't see how it's a problem anyway.

Children see their peers behaving in all sorts of different ways all the time and it's normal for them to experiment with that behaviour themselves. That's how they learn.

What is important is how you and the other adults around her respond to the behaviour when she tries it.

If your DD gets no attention/reaction from screaming and refusing food, she will realise that those behaviours aren't useful in any way and drop them.

I would mention to school that you are keen for her to build lots of friendships so please can they make sure they aren't supporting the idea that the two girls do everything together.

Unbreak your heart it is more the manner in which food is rejected I dislike.

Wow. My 3yo is a bit of a fussy eater (unlike the 2yo who eats anything from dog biscuits to lettuce) and my friend's 3yo is so fussy she only eats one kind of sandwich and has about 3 or 4 cooked meals. They can both be a bit screechy or otherwise annoying, but parenting isn't done in a day. They're lovely kids.

I expected the problem to be repeated hitting and biting, not something so common and harmless.

Hold the front page. Three year old lacks social decorum.

Yabu. Dd's had many close friends over the years that either behaved in undesirable ways, were fussy eaters or both. Sometimes because of sn/ health issues, sometimes because of parenting choices. It really wasn't/ is a problem.

Also dd has unusual eating habits herself, and especially as a toddler. Surprisingly none of her little friends ever picked up her habit of saying no to sweet stuff and junk most of the time, and other parents didn't seem to mind that dd was fussy in a healthy way.

(Not a stealth boast, just doesn't have a sweet tooth, and by healthy food I mean mainly things like pasta & fruit etc whilst hating eg chips & ketchup. Not asking for kale & quinoa soufflé over sausages)

* She refuses to eat anything other than pizza, toast, crisps and so on*

Personally I’d be calling 101

YANBU as you're the parent so you make the decisions.

But.

Personally, I wouldn't mind. It's important that my dd experiences rich and varied environments. She's a future leader and I'd hate for all our efforts to just end with her doing a Teresa May in 40 years time.

How exactly does one discourage a relationship? Will you be telling your DD that her friend isn’t suitable? Do you expect her at the age of 3 to understand that?

Wait until she’s in school. There’s more kids so more ‘unsavoury’ characters, more food aversions and more trouble families. Don’t think you can control your children’s friendships when you’re not around. However you do not have to have any child in your house who you don’t want there.