To this this person was a bit tactless?

[GlitterMagicPompom]

Today I had a fast track appointment to renew my DC's passport. Going through all the documents, the official looks at me and comments that I have left it a little late to have children. I am in my 40s and have one child. What this person doesn't know is that I have been battling cancer for the past 15 years and was told I would never be able to have children. I am now officially healed and healthy. My LO was born after this and is therefore to me a surprisingly wonderful miracle. I am not upset by this person's comments though I will admit it has been on my mind all day. AIBU to think such comments shouldn't be made to anyone as you never know what the story might be? Just interested in opinions.

How rude it’s none of her god damn business. I’d complain.

I'm so glad you are healed and healthy and have your LO.

The official was an absolute bastard. He will be sacked sooner or later.

I used to freely mention how easily I fell pregnant and how easy my labours were (probably smugly) until I joined this site.
It didn't really register with me before how thoughtless what I was saying was. Am very mindful now.
On the other hand (am fat) I have been asked about my pregnancy a few times! We don't think, we just say unfortunately. No malice intended in any situations but like you say, is maybe best not to comment. I don't now.

It's rude. My sister had her last at 40 and was asked if she was his granny

Thanks everyone. As it has been playing on my mind, I just started to wonder this evening whether I was being overly sensitive to the comment given my history and was curious as to what others might think.
Justdontevenfuckingstart, I think you hit the nail on the head saying it wasn't intended maliciously but was just said without thought put into it first.
Cakes4Us 😱 How did your sister respond???
Thanks PressForPancakes 😘

My jaw was dropped at how tactless his comment was before I'd even read your history. Unbelievable.

Are you sure that’s what he meant?
Was he perhaps referring to the fact you’d left it late to get your child’s passport or something?
(Clutching at straws)

That's bloody rude!

What a twat.

My friend went into a shop to try on wedding dresses aged 36 or so and got a comment about being 'a more mature bride'. She didn't buy her dress there.

That's awful. What exactly did they say?

Some people just open their mouths and let the wind whistle through.

I paid a large cheque in to the bank - the cashier said 'ooh, what have you been doing to get such a nice cheque?' Well, it's compensation for the industrial disease that made my FIL's last year miserable and then killed him. Thanks for asking.

a more mature bride

Why is it an insult to be called mature?

Congrats on your wee one! He was unforgivably rude. Thoughtless git.

Agree with pp it would be rude for whatever reason was behind having children later.
Clearly you must look much younger than your years though and he was digging to see if your passport was fake

That is really rude and insensitive and needless and judgemental, and has made me really really cross on your behalf OP. You should definitely complain.

OP they were STOOPID. Congrats on everything going well after such a difficult time

People trying to make small talk don't think. It isn't nice for you but no malice was intended. People just don't think things through

Where I live people would probably assume 40+ was mum and not be bothered. Where i am from might assume gran. Either way they wouldn't try and be insulting

That's just so rude, OP, and none of his business! Even without everything you've been through as well, personal remarks like that are never ok. Why do some people always feel the need to comment?

I think if you had just said to him your situation breifly he would definitely never say anything like that again

My eldest is 20 years older than youngest, Dr told me I had one when I was too young and one when I was too old. He looked about 12 and had all the social graces to match. Honestly there isn't a "right" age so don't let it get to you. You have come through such tough times and this isn't worth an ounce of your time.

No shit. That's rude AF.

When mum was having me she was referred to by medical staff as a 'geriatric mother' (she was 36).

That was a million years ago so I like to think they don't say that now.

HerAtNo7, sadly not I am sure I didn't misunderstand as the exchange was as follows:
Official looks at my passport and asks me if my LO is my first. I smiled and said yes. The response was 'Oh my goodness, you have left it late to have children haven't you?' I smiled as I was a bit taken aback and didn't want to appear rude 😂
YourAllABunchOfBastards 💐 To you. So sorry to hear about your FIL. What a tough time you must be having.
CorbynnsBurnFlannel ha ha ha, I like your way of thinking. 😘
Thanks everyone 😘😘😘

meganorks wish I had not been so surprised that I had actually responded with more than a smile 😕

That's rude! Officials with access to your documents have no business making personal comments of any description, it's very unprofessional. Friendly chitchat is fine, commenting on your personal details is not ok at all.