To this this person was a bit tactless?

[GlitterMagicPompom]

Today I had a fast track appointment to renew my DC's passport. Going through all the documents, the official looks at me and comments that I have left it a little late to have children. I am in my 40s and have one child. What this person doesn't know is that I have been battling cancer for the past 15 years and was told I would never be able to have children. I am now officially healed and healthy. My LO was born after this and is therefore to me a surprisingly wonderful miracle. I am not upset by this person's comments though I will admit it has been on my mind all day. AIBU to think such comments shouldn't be made to anyone as you never know what the story might be? Just interested in opinions.

In such situations if I'm not personally upset but think someone else might be, I tend to gently share enough of my situation to make people think before they stick their nose in next time.

Geriatric mother is a medical term though. It means over 35. It's not rude it's technical.

I too was sure you'd misheard and he meant late getting passport. But I've just seen your update. So rude. I thought I blurted things out sometimes but even I wouldn't comment like that. And in your 40s that's hardly unusual these days.

I had DC3 when I was 42. I made comments at my local hospital about how old I was and the staff there (on various different occasions) said 'Oh no you are not - we see lots older than you'! Made me feel much better.

The comment from that official was personal and out of order. S/he was abusing the situation of them having lots of knowledge of you and you having little knowledge of them. I would put in an official complaint. The person needs some training.

Geriatric mother is a medical term though. It means over 35. It's not rude it's technical.

You are right! But in Harlow (where I had Ds1) it meant over 25. I was really shocked that my maternity notes were stamped with effectively 'old mum' when I was 31.

My mum was classed geriatric when she had me at 29 but that was _ few years ago

My mum was an elderly prim when she had me at 26 in 1984!

Hiya crumbs.... busy tonight I see

None of their business cheeky git!

Well done on beating cancer and having a child GlitterMagicPompom.

There is no way on this earth hat this person is entitled to hold any opinion on when you had your child.

I would feel torn between reporting them (difficult if they may then make things difficult re passport), saying something back like "Are you honestly giving me your opinion on my fertility?" How very odd." And just ignoring them.

I think you should ignore and forget, he was a twat!

SenecaFalls "Why is it an insult to be called mature?" Because it suggests that there is a normal or correct time to do something and someone has done it later than normal. It is unlikely a man would get such comments.

Breathtakingly rude! I'd report him.

It wouldn't matter if it was your tenth child, he had no right to comment the way he did.

Intrigued at people guessing at the sex of the official (and mainly choosing male), when I don't think you'd said..

I went to the bank to change my bank card to my married name, was visibly pregnant and recently married and the bank teller commented on my 'shotgun wedding'. I think some peopke are just utterly rubbish at small talk and don't think through how they could be making a hurtful comment.

I think it's one of those situations where afterwards you think, "Why the fuck didn't I say something?". Hopefully, the official was also mentally slapping their forehead thinking, "Why the fuck did I just say that?".

She's such an inoffensive, lovely person, she just said "no, I'm his mum". She doesn't look old for her age even. It cheesed her off though.

Fuck them. You wonderful, wonderful woman you

Italiangreyhound, It did briefly cross my mind about keeping quiet for the sake of getting through the appointment quickly and without any hitch. I was just too stunned to think straight. Exactly as Shadow666 articulated.
CakesRUs, not surprised your sister was cheesed off. Hopefully she laughs about it now.
Thanks ILoceMillhousesDad 😘😘😘
Thank you very much everyone. Good to know I wasn't being silly. Thank you 😊

I would still complain, it was outstandingly rude.

Personally I would have told him exactly why to make him feel like a right cunt.

But you seem to be a lovely person with a lovely attitude. I should try and be more like you.

If you need cheering up and have time to read it, this is one of my favourite threads where people say and do random and inappropriate things.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1003724-Make-me-laugh-what-s-the-most-cringey-embarrassing-thing?messages=100&pg=1

I assumed it was a male, was I right? Or would you rather not say, OP?

If anyone says it again to you remember to say something like "That's what 15 years of chemo does for you I'm afraid" and watch them squirm.

Enjoy being a Mum. Ignore twatty people !

Shadow666, thanks for sharing this link! I am giggling uncontrollably away at some of these 😂😂😂

Italiangreyhound, I wasn't going to say but actually no, it was a lady. I think this compounded my surprise tbh.

AllTheBestNamesAreUsed, I think I will definitely borrow your phrase next time (though I sincerely hope I shall not be in this situation again.) This is what my DH said as soon as I told him about it. He wasn't impressed. At all. We would have loved to have started a family sooner but things happen and that's life. We feel very grateful and fortunate to have our LO at all.

MargaretTwatyer, I wish I was more forthright like you! It would save me kicking myself after the event 🙈