NC and I'll keep it as brief as possible.
Years ago I used to be a full time DJ and as such friends and family still ask me to do the odd "night" here and there (still have all my gear)
I probably do about 4 events a year now, strictly for friends and family, not for pay, just because it helps them out (in other words I do not charge for these few and far between events)
Several months ago I did an 18th birthday party for some very good friends of mine (for their daughter) at their own place (big place, huge garden bash etc)
The fathers partner asked me to do the gig for his 50th (surprise party at the local pub) and I agreed straight away. I did so under the impression it would just be the usual Friday night drinkies with some tunes and lighting thrown in as a bit of a laugh (have done similar for them before) but now the event is drawing near I have since found out (through talking to said fathers partner and the pub landlord) that this is actually a fairly organised event with a shitload of people invited, from far and wide and that I will be expected to do the event "properly" (for lack of a better word)
I wasn't expecting this and TBH I really don't fancy it. By "properly" I mean not too much boozing, and generally being a professional DJ. I hadn't anticipated this, I thought it would basically be a piss-up with friends at the local with a bit of a boogie (again, this is the only capacity I DJ in these days)
I am fully capable of doing the job in the way they expect, but it wasn't what I'd bargained on (and with fair reason)
I'd feel like an arse hole if I cancelled but I just don't fancy it. I know some people will tell me I should do it given that I have the capacity but I feel the situation/expectations weren't made particularly clear. Normally when I do events for them I can join in the party and have a drink and it's no big deal etc, all just a bit of fun. This has transformed into something else.
Am I an arse hole for wanting to cancel?