To not really know what to do about this Big Issue seller?

[Welshmaenad]

I have my children EOW (they go to their dad alternate weekends) and they do an activity on Saturday which means hanging around waiting for them for a few hours (no point going home it's a 45 minute drive). I have always had a little routine which involved coffee and going to a couple of stores on a small retail park, partly for enjoyment, partly to get things we actually need.

A few visits ago there was a big issue seller outside the shops. I stopped to buy one and she told me she was really struggling with things for her children and would I buy her some formula and nappies. I am a complete pushover so asked what she needed and she promptly marched me into the shop to pick out 2x tubs of formula, nappies and wipes. About £30 worth. As a one off I figured it was a big help to her and didn't mind so much.

Following visit she was there again, saw me and approached me straight away and asked me to do the same. I said I could get her some nappies/wipes but nothing more as it was a lot of expense. She wasn't best impressed. When I came out and gave them to her she handed me a slip with her phone number on instructing me to call her so I can help her further. I have not done so.

Now I KNOW I need to stop being soft and just tell her no, but the visit after I just waited to do my shopping until she had packed up and left. I know, I know, I'm a coward. But I find it so hard to refuse to help people and she was VERY persistent. I also know that it won't help her in the long run to set up expectations of the buying of things continuing.

So, I accept I need to put my big girl pants on and tell her no more. My concern is, this has genuinely caused me to steer clear of the shops and I wonder if she has made me feel this way, has she done it to other people, and is the shop's trade suffering as a result? I'm pretty sure she's not following big issue guidelines, and part of me feels I ought to contact them, or the shop, to tell them what she is doing, but the other part of me doesn't want to jeapordise what little income she may have and put her at risk of struggling further.

Wah. What would you do?

She definitely appears to be a genuine seller at least - she's there all the time and has an I'd badge, tabard and decent sized stack of the magazines.

chirpyburbycheapsheep In MH? A lot of people said that they helped her recently via a local group. Another was helped in CE. I'd hope they were genuine...

If she has a baby there's no way she is bringing it up on her own on a Big Issue seller wage with no other income. What a load of shite.

I came across a couple of sellers who were quite aggressive. No one else around and it was quite late. I walked on only to be shouted and called names because 'if his mate didn't get some sold before he went home his wife would kick him out' supposed to be homeless. Yeah right.

there is another homeless person too though he doesn't do the big issue. He does beg every single day. thing is he has a council house and on benefits. Still accepts free food, money and coffee.

I've definitely read this before - the exact same story. Not doubting you OP - just wonder if it's a widespread scam?

But yes, it will be a scam. Just breeze past and say 'sorry, I can't help this time'.