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Original poster

To not really know what to do about this Big Issue seller?

56 replies

Welshmaenad · 28/09/2017 19:17

I have my children EOW (they go to their dad alternate weekends) and they do an activity on Saturday which means hanging around waiting for them for a few hours (no point going home it's a 45 minute drive). I have always had a little routine which involved coffee and going to a couple of stores on a small retail park, partly for enjoyment, partly to get things we actually need.

A few visits ago there was a big issue seller outside the shops. I stopped to buy one and she told me she was really struggling with things for her children and would I buy her some formula and nappies. I am a complete pushover so asked what she needed and she promptly marched me into the shop to pick out 2x tubs of formula, nappies and wipes. About £30 worth. As a one off I figured it was a big help to her and didn't mind so much.

Following visit she was there again, saw me and approached me straight away and asked me to do the same. I said I could get her some nappies/wipes but nothing more as it was a lot of expense. She wasn't best impressed. When I came out and gave them to her she handed me a slip with her phone number on instructing me to call her so I can help her further. I have not done so.

Now I KNOW I need to stop being soft and just tell her no, but the visit after I just waited to do my shopping until she had packed up and left. I know, I know, I'm a coward. But I find it so hard to refuse to help people and she was VERY persistent. I also know that it won't help her in the long run to set up expectations of the buying of things continuing.

So, I accept I need to put my big girl pants on and tell her no more. My concern is, this has genuinely caused me to steer clear of the shops and I wonder if she has made me feel this way, has she done it to other people, and is the shop's trade suffering as a result? I'm pretty sure she's not following big issue guidelines, and part of me feels I ought to contact them, or the shop, to tell them what she is doing, but the other part of me doesn't want to jeapordise what little income she may have and put her at risk of struggling further.

Wah. What would you do?

OP posts:
Fekko · 28/09/2017 19:54

Hand up not a hand out - that's the motto. I wonder if she is genuine? Has she a proper badge and more than one or two magazines?

Miserylovescompany2 · 28/09/2017 19:56

The baby products you purchased were most likely sold on! I'd report her!

OhBondageUpYours · 28/09/2017 19:57

Any chance of meeting me next week outside a Rolex dealership, OP?

Ts27 · 28/09/2017 19:59

You need to just tell her no. I am a soft touch too but not when it comes to people taking advantage of me- which is what she is doing.

You said it ok your post- you need to Put your big girl pants on and tell her NO. Walk in as you would with her there or not, if she approaches she tell her you can't- don't slow down, say this in a very short sentence or simply 'no thank you' and she will get the message.

JamieLannisterToMyBedchamber · 28/09/2017 20:00

As someone has previously posted:

www.bigissue.org.uk/our-vendors/vendor-conduct

pasturesgreen · 28/09/2017 20:00

I find it hard to believe this woman actually has a baby young enough to be in need of formula and nappies, but then I'm a hardened old cynic Hmm

I'd report her to the Big Issue. It's people like her who give other sellers a bad name.

Penfold007 · 28/09/2017 20:00

You've been played like a violin. Sorry for being so brutal. Report her, woman up and either say no or shop elsewhere.

InappropriateGavels · 28/09/2017 20:01

Here's another side of it for you, as well as the gear being easily sold on, the formula milk as a powder is also a popular ingredient used to bulk out drugs when they're being cut by dealers.

If you ever wondered what goes into drugs that make them less pure analysis regularly reveals things like flour, baking powder, baby formula and even cement. Just one of those things I picked up when I worked in fraud for a food retailer and we wondered why baby formula was being purchased in huge quantities with stolen credit cards.

hamburgler · 28/09/2017 20:03

Yes definitely report. I sometimes buy my local sellers (who I know and chat to) a coffee, but I don't consider that a hand out.

JeReviens · 28/09/2017 20:03

I can't think of anything that would convince me to part with £30 to someone I don't know and about whose integrity I know nothing. You've been done up like a kipper OK. Next time stop and think. Fool me once etc etc.

whirlyswirly · 28/09/2017 20:05

I've read this on here before too. It must be a common scam. I'm sorry someone took advantage of your kindness. You did a good thing.

CherriesInTheSnow · 28/09/2017 20:05

I've definitely read this exact post before, down to what the woman was asking OP to buy... Confused

chirpyburbycheapsheep · 28/09/2017 20:06

I know a Big Issue seller like this and I get where you're coming from...she's not often outside a small Waitrose with a bus stop outside by any chance?

Original poster
Welshmaenad · 28/09/2017 20:08

It's really helpful to know other people doubt she is genuine as I felt like a judgemental bitch for doubting her. Thank you.

I promise I've never posted this before, and I'm a genuine long time member!

OP posts:
Original poster
Welshmaenad · 28/09/2017 20:08

chirpy no waitrose. She is outside a Boots on a small retail park.

OP posts:
Funnyface1 · 28/09/2017 20:11

I would walk on by, it's probably a scam. You seem so nice and I know it feel hard to do.

Next time you go past (if it makes you feel better) don't even slow your pace, shrug and say "sorry, I've been made redundant" and carry on.

LadyWire · 28/09/2017 20:13

As pp have said, you need to report her to Big Issue. If you can, tell her that you're not buying anything else for her and if she doesn't stop asking you you'll report her, but if you don't have the courage to do that then just report her.

CheeseAndOnionIceCream · 28/09/2017 20:13

OMG OP,I can't believe the damn cheek of this woman! I'm afraid that it's this kind of behaviour that puts me off helping homeless people/people begging. There's a guy who's frequently sitting in my local high street,always in the same spot. Now,I'm not well off myself (long-term disability benefits) but about 3 months ago,I gave him a quid when he asked as I walked past him. From that day on,every time,and I mean EVERY time he sees me,he's trying to attract my attention. I don't mind giving someone a quid now and again,but I can't afford it 3 or 4 times a week! At one point,he was hollering across the street at me,trying to catch my attention,which really annoyed me. When I gave him the money the first time,I don't recall signing an agreement saying that I was going to give him money every single time I walked past him! Unfortunately,it has made me wary of giving anyone anything now.

overstuffedburitto · 28/09/2017 20:13

She may well not be a big issue seller, I had a very similar situation where I bought a Big Issue seller fish and chips and a pint in a pub on Xmas eve and then he started to stalk me - waiting outside my work and ask me all the time. I called the Big Issue and he was not a seller, just a man who'd bought a copy and was walking round with it! The police warned him and I was left alone.

You see this sort of thing in the papers a lot - it's not your fault and although you've been naive, you have also shown compassion and empathy which are wonderful personality traits. Don't be too hard on yourself.

Roomster101 · 28/09/2017 20:15

I very much doubt that she is genuine. Report her.

ReanimatedSGB · 28/09/2017 20:21

Please do report her. I know people who work at the Big Issue and this sort of thing is a huge problem for them - as shown upthread, it really harms the legitimate sellers (because people start thinking that all vendors are chancers.)

It's possible that this woman is a victim of trafficking herself, so reporting the matter might actually do her good in the long run.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 28/09/2017 20:21

Just walk by fgs.

Stinkymimi · 28/09/2017 20:27

You need to report her. It’s fraud. It’s no different to scammers who knock on old ladies’ doors telling them that there’s a tile missing from their roof.
And if it’s not fraud, and her baby is genuinely going without nappies and formula for whatever reason, then she’s obviously not coping and needs Social Services’ involvement.
As a pp has mentioned, it’s possible she’s a victim of trafficking herself.

Excited101 · 28/09/2017 20:28

You 100% need to report her. It's part of the deal of registered big issue sellers that they can't beg or receive hand outs in any form at all.

That's if she's even a legitimate seller...

LonginesPrime · 28/09/2017 20:39

I suppose one of the other things to consider is that she might be being coerced.

If this is some sort of scam and there's someone else selling the stuff on (presumably someone who wouldn't get the sympathy vote or be able to convince anyone they're homeless with a baby), you could be helping her by reporting the situation.

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