To ask how much maternity leave

[Flippertyjibbetty]

• you took and did that feel right?

• were you concerned about time out from your career (actual loss of skills)

• were you concerned about perceptions at work about how committed you were?

Thinking about how long to take (whether 6m or 12m or something in between). Think I have support to take a full year and definitely want to make up mind when baby is actually here but feels such a long time and I know I want a second kid at some point - so 2 years feels even longer out of 10 years working.

(I say 10 years because in my industry that's how long you have to be promoted otherwise it's up or out).

Watching with interest!

Also watching with interest. I feel like longer than 6 months could be slightly suicidal in my work. I also get confused about at what point they can send you back to a job similar to your own, but that wasn't your own...

1. 13m (52w ML + 5w accrued AL) - then returned part time (0.6FTE). That was the death knell for my career development, but I was well warned: looking at the industry there are senior women and part time women and no overlap whatsoever. No loss of skills, but I was pushed downwards into a role with no development potential and resigned after around a year when it was clear there was nowhere to go within the company. I will likely never be able to get back on that ladder.

1. 2y6m (52w ML then resigned to SAH) - I would have been paying to go to work, and we simply couldn't afford that. SAHing almost did me in despite a lot of volunteer work including "transferable skills" stuff. I missed out on some developments in my industry but nothing that couldn't be caught up. Was eventually headhunted by former colleague at a new firm.

1. 10 weeks (ML), then very part-time, flexible and WFH. Worked for us, although that would have been ridiculously early to go back with commute/long nursery hours etc.

Don't forget shared leave. When men take shared parental leave it reduces the "maternity gap" for all women, so it's a socially responsible thing to do, as well as potentially very useful for your individual family.

So I'm leaving work at 38 weeks for maternity but have two weeks holiday to use so technically leaving work at 36weeks. I've planned to take 9 months off due to the money side but if I feel I need the full year I will take the full year.

I'm not concerned. I get paid a decent wage for an office job and will be returning part time instead of full time. Work have been very supportive! And the company is quite family orientated. They've said I can change my date I come back but they need so much notice. (can't remember!)

I look at it that you can have as many jobs as you like and different experiences. But you only get this time once with your babies ☺

I also get confused about at what point they can send you back to a job similar to your own, but that wasn't your own...

I have a feeling that's 39w (end of ordinary ML) - when I went back at 52w I was given a shit less responsible job but on the same pay because that couldn't be dropped. In any case, if your role has become redundant in the meantime they don't have to keep it open, eg if you're the relationship manager for Smith & Sons and the company loses the account in your absence.

ds1 6 months and ds2 12 months as the rules changed inbetween. I think the longer the better, it doesn't really effect your skills but its lovely to be able to feel you had time to do that early bonding.

31 weeks. We couldn't afford to go into unpaid leave avter 39 weeks, and we both wanted my DW to take some of the shared leave, so she got the last 8 weeks of SMP. I took an additional 4 weeks accrued leave at the end, so went back after 35 weeks.

It was right for me, getting back definitely helped with my mental health, and just feeling normal again. At first I thought I'd forgotten stuff but within a few days it was like I'd never been away.

There were no perceptions, in my organisation it's not uncommmon for people to take the full year and it's not thought badly of.

I've just returned to work after 9 months on mat leave. I wish I could have taken longer.
I've also changed jobs! My previous job was not suitable to do with a young baby so I've taken a step down and gone elsewhere.
I originally planned 10 months off work (incl holidays) but financially I needed to come back sooner.
I went on mat leave at 34 weeks as I went into labour at work one day out of the blue and had my baby 6 weeks early! I had been planning on leaving work at 36 weeks.
I think, although I missed the 'preparation' time before baby, I was quite happy to have the maximum amount of time with him

That's helpful MrsHathaway, thanks.

I do job role XYZ and work in team A. We also have teams B, C, D, E and F. I feel very strongly that my team is one of the two best ones to work in, there are a couple with lots of staff turnover and I get worried they could slot me into a different team if on ML, what if my cover is really good etc and they think it's best to keep them in my job and move me across when I go back?

I took a year and went back 60%. It's quite standard in my job. In some ways my career has developed, but there's other opportunities I've missed because of not being ft. Dc are 3 and 5 and I'm happy with my work life balance.

Tbh I'm 41 so still Got 20 plus years to work!

I took 10 months off - 9 mths ML and 4 weeks accrued hols - I did take all my 10 Keeping in touch days - One a month after 3 months and then in every fortnight leading up to my return. They really helped keep me in the loop, and reminded everyone of my existence and commitment to my role on return. I used those days to attend business reviews, workshops and important meetings etc, rather than wafting in and deleting emails. I returned on a 4 day week until the remaining accrued hols had run out and back to FT eventually.
I have seen others in my company disappear for 12 months and then seem surprised they are not taken seriously on their return. I think you can have 9 mths without impact, but pushing it after that. But I imagine this depends on your industry.

what if my cover is really good etc and they think it's best to keep them in my job and move me across when I go back?

I think you need your own thread if you want to make plans. I suspect there's an official legal position, and a nuanced What Actually Happens position which meets the letter of the law but not its spirit. Good luck.

I took a year maternity leave.
I'm a teacher, and things change often in teaching but I wasn't overly concerned about getting too far out of the loop.
I work with mainly women of a similar age, so also wasn't concerned about perceptions for being off for 12 months.

In the end I got pregnant with DC2 after being back at work a month, so decided to leave and be a SAHM for a few years. I do think about how difficult it could be to get back into teaching after having so long out, but I plan on "keeping my hand in" buy doing supply teaching. I also have a lot of teacher friends and we often end up talking shop, so no doubt they'll keep me in the loop!

I took 13 months with DD and emigrated in the middle of that. Got fed up of having no money and found a new job fairly easily in new country on 5 days (over 4). Have (re) built career and network here and now planning to take 12 months for dc2. Mostly because of timing - it will cover the first few weeks of DD starting at school and that's when daycare places become available. I'm ready for another break as lots of politics and new management at work. I will probably look for a move in same company when I come back but will probably be very ready to renter the world of adult conversation by then.

Daycares here don't take children under one and only have two intakes a year, so I had to take 14 months.

Yes I was concerned about it
Yes it's damaged my career
Yes I got demoted when I came back, illegally. Under the pretence of moving me across. I was at a point of seniority where they had to promote me and they didn't want to because I'm 'in the mummy track' so they shifted me across (in reality to a lower role.)

There is indeed a letter of the law and what actually happens.

Be aware that if they're going to be shits about it they will, whether you take a year or drag yourself back before they've cut the cord..,

Thanks for responses so far, it's really good to hear different people's experiences.

In some other places (not mine) I've heard that you come back after 6m if you're serious and 12m if you're not (rolls eyes so hard it hurts).

To the poster who asked about job protection - I thought it was something more like 6m for your position and can take 12 m leave and still be guaranteed an equivalent position (but not yours). However, I'm not an employment lawyer - govt websites are quite good on that kind of thing, I think?

I took 14 months. That comprised 6 months on full pay, 3 months on stat and 3 months unpaid followed by accrued holiday. I think actually for my mental health it was too long as I needed the company and mental stimulation. If we have another (looking unlikely) I would probably take 10 months max. I was told if you took 6 months it was exact same job after that it was an equivalent job and that was the case for me as I was put back on another team (although they merged with my old team 6 months later!)
Because the package is so generous most people take 12 months so it did not have a particular effect on my career or perception of me. Things had moved on and changed so I did struggle for a bit to get my head round it.
The effect on my career is really now that I have gone part time rather than the leave I took, because I only work 3 days a week and am pretty limited to what I can do out of hours then I can't really go for career moves or promotions that would need this so I am stuck doing what I do. Fortunately I like it (mostly....)

Anatidae - that's awful.

Yes, and if they're effective shits they will use the letter of the law to give effect to it!

I'm feeling hopeful and naive atm that that kind of thing won't happen. More the 'softer' perceptions that are my concern, people seeing you differently that kind of thing.

I suppose you have to work 2x as hard on returning to show commitment (when you have much less energy and time...urgh).

I'd also remark, while you're planning, that it's relatively easy to find childcare solutions for under-fives. Once they're at school it's a whole different ballgame, and you don't save nearly as much money as you expect to. Furthermore, the logistics of dropping child two at nursery and child one at breakfast club, then picking up in the reverse order, are not to be sniffed at.

And that's before you factor in using up half your annual leave for the inevitable nativity/sports day/chicken pox/D&V quarantine days.

I suppose you have to work 2x as hard on returning to show commitment (when you have much less energy and time...urgh).

IME working parents get their heads down and plough through what they're doing so they can be sure to get away on time. They haven't got the time or patience for water cooler gossip!

Also, good part-time jobs are like rocking horse droppings, so part-timers are disproportionately loyal. Employers know this.

Honestly, take what you want. The people who frown at 12 will frown at 6.

I am now deeply cynical about the whole thing. It's shown me just how deeply embedded sexism is at work in many levels. Dh and I had to take two days each the other week to look after poorly ds (we have no other childcare.) it's the first time ever he's been off nursery. Dh got the 'oh you're such a devoted dad, brownie points, isn't he a wonderful modern man' etc. I got a grumpy 'is that legal, can't someone else look after him/can't you work with him watching to.' Etc.

My career is fine, my last baby(6) I took 11months made up of satutory maternity and accrued holidays, I work in a professional firm and I have no issues keeping up to date and have had promotions and pay rises, came back to my desk and my job not a replacement role so.

I'm expecting our first. I'm self employed so won't receive any maternity pay. I will be taking 3 months mat leave as my business simply would not survive if I had no input for 9 months not to mention the lack of money.
I feel awful about the situation but it will be part time, I have childcare in place and it's a case of needs must.

I planned to take 6 months but took 9 as DS wouldn't take a bottle so the milk supply couldn't go back to work until he was at a stage where he could just have water in a tippy cup in the day and a feed at night.

The length of time didn't damage my career but I did go back FT. Having seen colleagues in management level jobs go back PT I'd say that damages your career more than taking a longer ML. They tend to need FT managers and (in the public sector) you tend to lose the other part of a post when it goes PT rather than get a job share.

3 months for me. Would have liked longer but single parent working in exec role and no financial support from son's father at the time. It was pretty brutal going back- I used to trade lunch for a 45 minute nap in the car with earplugs and eye
Patches on! Anyone see that programme The Replacemenf? Scary.