To ask how much maternity leave

[Flippertyjibbetty]

• you took and did that feel right?

• were you concerned about time out from your career (actual loss of skills)

• were you concerned about perceptions at work about how committed you were?

Thinking about how long to take (whether 6m or 12m or something in between). Think I have support to take a full year and definitely want to make up mind when baby is actually here but feels such a long time and I know I want a second kid at some point - so 2 years feels even longer out of 10 years working.

(I say 10 years because in my industry that's how long you have to be promoted otherwise it's up or out).

I took 12.5 months off, I am lucky in the sector I am in that 18 weeks were at full pay (4 months) and then 5 months of stat mat. I then spread annual leave over the last three months. I was lucky that my maternity leave fell at the end of our leave year so it within a few weeks o had a whole years leave to take. I also then went back part time (shifts) and used a few days of annual leave to get an extra few weeks off. For me I would have stayed off forever, I wanted more time! I spent the first year back as part time so could enjoy DS and Now am full time, part of this is in antipation of wanting another DC and wanting full time maternity pay for 18 weeks.
Next time around I won’t be able to take as much time off as financial not viable which makes me sad but it is what it is!

(I also worked full time until 39+4, had DS at 39+5 so made use of my mat leave!!!)

4 months in each case - partner in professional firm so not entitled to anything. I did negotiate to go back 4 days instead of 5 and took the pay cut although I had my own client list so it wasn't as if I was actually doing any less work. Best advice I was given was to take Wednesdays off on the basis that most people are happy to leave you in peace if they know you'll be in tomorrow whereas many colleagues and clients won't be happy to leave it 3 days over the weekend if you choose to take Fridays. Mondays are also a bad day to take as you miss out on Bank Holidays...
I also had 5 full days childcare so Wednesday was for me to do the things I needed to (supermarket/hairdresser etc) so we could have better family time at the weekend.

In both my last two workplaces I've seen women screwed over because of maternity leave, and others return with no loss of regard or duties.

One was made redundant because her maternity cover was much better at the job than she was, so the company 'restructured' to get rid of her. I believe they paid her off when she got lawyers involved. The second has had all the nice parts of her job removed and given to her maternity cover, leaving her with the tasks she hates. Partly it's because the maternity cover is the boss's favourite, and partly because she returned part time.

I think you really are vulnerable when you go on maternity leave, even with the laws supposed to protect us.

I am self employed. I took six months but worked a bit in the evenings from three months as KIT days.
I did only work 3x6hr days at first (from baby 6mo to 9mo) then 3x8hr days to 12mo. Then four full days and still do.

I went back 0.8 which is what's screwed me. I felt like I had no choice though - if I'd remained full time I wouldn't be covered by the part time legislation, which lets me to an extent control my hours. Previously I was doing 60 hour weeks and working a lot in the USA working day. The state daycare here only runs till five and it's a long drive away - if I'd stayed five days a week I'd need to leave just after 4 every day. So I chose to go 80%. I'm still working full time hours, and I do two early finishes (4:30) and two late finishes (8pm) that lets me keep working with the us clients.
My career is still fucked, but hey ho.

I took 9 months and 2 weeks plus 7 weeks accrued holidays so it was just shy of a year in total. I went back to the same role full time so no impact at work but my job is just a job, not a career iyswim. We are hoping to have another child in the next few years and I will probably do exactly the same as I was more than ready to go back to work by the end. I love my ds more than anything in the world but he was an incredibly difficult baby

My only issue will be the school run for dc1 when dc2 comes along so will likely have to reduce my hours as not possible for DH to. Haven't really explored that option yet though

I took 9 months (only got basic mat pay) I didn't take into consideration what work 'expected from me', and went for what worked well for me. Ds was 8.5 months when I went back, I don't think it would have worked him being much younger, and I think a year out of the adult world, would have.m been to much.
For what it's worth my work were really good. A few people have come back after a full year (9 months paid, 3 unpaid) and they haven't been hampered in anyway career wise. My work were great and eased me back into things.
I think how they treat you will depend on the company you work for.

3 months with dd1. Legislation changed by the time I had dc2 and 3 so I was able to take 6 months, which I felt was about right. 3 months was hard work physically (particularly with ebf) but because this was 20+ years ago and it was the same for everyone, it actually felt really normal. And tbh in some ways it was probably easier in terms of not feeling out of the loop with work. A lot of people now seem to take a year, which must mean you settle into a completely new kind of life, so I
Imagine it must take quite a lot of adjustment to then go back to work. I've also witnessed a few horror stories with colleagues getting their children settled in childcare when they start being left at around 10-12 months because this is when separation anxiety has a peak. The advantage of 3 months is that there really are no separation issues... no tears or clinging. Overall though I'd say 6 months is probably about right- long enough to get the baby into a good routine, weaning etc but not so long that you start to lose confidence about the work place

I took 9 months actual maternity leave but saved up my annual leave so left work 6 weeks before that and then added 4 weeks annual leave into the other end so almost s year in total.

I was a but concerned about loss of skills as I had just completed a year of ultrasound training when I left but I used some keep in touch days to get back up to speed before coming back. After the first week of so back at work it felt like I'd never been anywhere!

With dc1 I used 4 weeks annual leave so I finished at 36 weeks and then took 9 months maternity leave. Went back to work full time, as was acutely aware that my career progression would have been affected if I went back part time plus it would be difficult to do my role p/t (most p/t colleagues in my department work above their contracted hours but don't get paid for the extra work). I don't think I would have got my promotion had I returned p/t.
Am currently on maternity leave with dc2 - used annual leave to finish at 35 weeks and will take 9 months maternity leave before going back f/t.

11 1/2 months first time and 10 months second time . Yes it felt right . I wouldn't have wanted to go back before as they were bf and refused bottles . Also they were quite fun at that age . I didn't feel I lost out on my career although with a few months off it took a while to get back into it / feel confident again which slowed me down a little. I did get promoted just before my last maternity leave which was good .

Thanks everyone :)

Really useful to see that diff things work for diff people. I've reread company policy as well to work out financially what works best for us. I can't really afford unpaid leave without relying on husband.

Hope everyone currently on leave is having a lovely time with their babies and good luck to those expecting.

I can't really afford unpaid leave without relying on husband.

This is a bit concerning. You shouldn't be living on your maternity pay. Maternity pay is part of household income as is husband's salary. Don't fall into the trap of taking on all baby expenses on your own.

Just to address PP about missing bank holidays if you don't work Mondays:

That's not actually true - you get extra holiday to take account of it.

Full time where I work get 25 days holiday and 8 bank holidays. I work Tues to Thurs so get 0.6 x 25 of annual leave and 0.6 x 8 for bank holiday allowance (minus any BH falling on work days).

Works out at 19 days per year - over 6 weeks given I only work 3 days per week.

I took a 10 months with dc1, 12 months with dc2 and now 12 with months dc3.

Really hate hearing the '6 months if you're serious, 12 if you're not ' thing. 12 months out, when we're all likely to be working until 70, is not a lot. Also work culture should adjust to support the full leave, rather than women taking less to fit in with discriminatory practices. Fuck that. I'd rather take the full year then fight for my rights once I return.

As for employer giving your job away to maternity cover, as far as I know you can be shifted into other duties only if your job no longer exists. If they've hires the mat cover to do the job, clearly it exists, so I assume that would be illegal? Not sure what the time limit on this is, I think the end of only (9months?).

3 months with both. Was too soon with DC1 who was also EBF bottle refuser. Was just fine with DC2, I was bored at home.
Didn't damage my career.

I took the year as my figuring was that I was never going to get the time again. Friend took 9 months and she did get into the swing of work easier than I did tbh

I went off at 34 weeks (had 6 weeks AL). Going back November 6th so have taken the whole year plus a bit more AL. Was 4 days a week, going back to 3. I am a HV so not much career progression available, not that I want it at the moment to be honest.

Ps I totally don't feel ready to go back, my heart is breaking a little 😢

I worked up to 38 weeks pregnant and will be going back part time (2 days) from November when baby is 4 months and full time in January. However I've been functionally back (using 2 1/2 KIT days a week, in practice working around 15 hours and with work emails on my phone) since mid August, so I only had 2 1/2 months completely "off".

For me it was absolutely necessary for my mental health - I went from working 45 hour weeks in my "real" job plus 4-6 hours moonlighting in an evening job to absolutely nothing and really struggled.

I needed the time when my son was first born to physically recover, bond and establish breastfeeding, but was keen not to take longer than I needed.

My job is in a fast moving area in a rapidly growing company and I was definitely worried about being left behind. I am already about 4-5 years behind my peers in terms of earning because I spent a lot of time in postgraduate education and if I hadn't got pregnant I was on track for a management position, which then went to an external candidate.

My commitment at work was never questioned while I was there (often on call out of hours, staying late, working unpaid overtime) but I would definitely feel like if I had not gone back fairly quickly there would have been an unspoken assumption that that commitment had been lost.

Forgot to say my work have been extremely flexible, more than most I would say, in letting me work variable days around my DPs shifts and when I'm at work he has the baby. If I had to pay for childcare or leave him with someone else I think it would have definitely been a harder decision

10 months. It was exactly the right amount of time for me. I felt I could have returned any time after 9 months. Before that I would have found it too hard with exclusively breastfeeding. I'm three months in and it is very, very hard as my baby doesn't sleep well but going back has done wonders for my mental well-being/sense of self.

You won't go to your grave wishing you worked more.. take as long as you want/ can. 13 months in my case x2