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Original poster

5 year old still has dummy

91 replies

user1498912461 · 28/09/2017 11:38

I'm ashamed to say that my 5 year old DS (almost 6 year old) still has a dummy. I have tried for years to wean him off to no avail. DH sees no problem with him still having a dummy and mil frequently turns up with brand new packets of dummies for DS. DH has said for ages that he will speak to mil but it's always the "wrong moment". Last time she turned up with packs of new dummies for DS I took them off him and hid them. Mil seemed genuinely surprised and said that her children still had dummies at the age of 8! I am very worried about his teeth but DH said him having a dummy until he was 8 did his teeth no harm. I am now made out to be the "bad guy". We have a 11 month old who also has dummies.

OP posts:
verbaIkint · 28/09/2017 13:22

The Santa I take my kids to has a Christmas tree decorated with dummies. So when the time came they went and hung their 'dodo' on the tree and got a gift off the big man. Didn't have any issues other than DS saying he's gonna ask for it back next year. He didn't.
Maybe that could help?

thegreylady · 28/09/2017 13:51

We 'sent them to the dummy fairy to be made into new ones for tiny babies'. We hung them on a tree in the garden and said dummy fairy left a small gift in return.

PsychoPumpkin · 28/09/2017 13:56

At this age, get you DH and MIL on board, stop buying them, chuck them in the bin and let them never be seen again.

I know your youngest has a dummy but your eldest will just have to learn that he’s to old for them now.

Maybe mark the dummy dumping with a really special treat for becoming a big boy who doesn’t need his dummy anymore. Make a fuss of him.

dollydaydream114 · 28/09/2017 13:58

We are talking about a 5 year old who likes a bit of comfort.

He doesn't have to get that comfort from a dummy, though. It's not like anyone's going to ask him to bin his teddy bear or give up cuddles. A five-year-old shouldn't really be using a dummy; he isn't a baby.

Drycleanonly7 · 28/09/2017 14:59

Put them in the bin. You are still in charge of him. What's the worst that can happen?

user1494409994 · 28/09/2017 15:04

DS gave his up at 4 DD at 2 on the dentist's advice. The children and I put them in a bag, hung it on the door and the dummy fairy took them away that night for new babies. In the morning there was an appropriate gift in the bag from the fairies. DD got a doll. DS got a car that he had been coveting. Neither of them made a fuss or had a problem with it

2014newme · 28/09/2017 15:08

Bad for speech development.
Perhaps mil likes him kept quiet?
Send to dummy fair or whatever. Tel mil no more dummies make a fuss if him being a big boy etc.
Basically, be the parent!

toomuchtoolate · 28/09/2017 15:13

My DS still had a dummy at night at almost 6 years old, despite all efforts to get him to stop. Then we moved house and the packers packed everything in his room up, including his dummies. Took us a couple of days a week to find the right box. By which time he was sleeping without one. Just move house OP!

LloydColeandtheCoconuts · 28/09/2017 15:19

Awwlookatmybabyspider

What a brilliant idea! My DS still uses his bottle and I'm thinking it's time to go. I'll wait Xmas and use your line Grin

TheSmallClangerWhistlesAgain · 28/09/2017 15:19

Get rid of all the dummies while he's at school. If/when he asks for one, just say there aren't any.

The MIL problem sounds a bit trickier. If she buys any more dummies, put them straight in a high cupboard and donate them somewhere at the earliest opportunity.

FrancesHaHa · 28/09/2017 15:20

I'm interested in the bad for speech development/ bad for teeth issue.

Is it still bad for speech development if they are only using at night, as opposed to not speaking properly in the day because of the dummy in their mouth?

I ask about the teeth because I recently took DD(6) to the dentist. She has never had a dummy or sucked her thumb. The dentist asked about dummy use due to the way DDs teeth are growing. I told the dentist she'd never done either, but she looked at me sceptically, as though I might be making it up.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 28/09/2017 15:22

I think at this age your dc will more than understand the concepts of the dummy fairy/sending them to Santa etc.

I'd get someone to call up and pretend to be Santa but then I'm a bit mean. DH and MIL will get on board if dc is excited enough about it. I'm sorry but an 8 year old with dummy Is a bit much and if other kids find out they'll never live it down

MrEBear · 28/09/2017 15:31

He's almost 6! I'd tell him he has to leave them out the night before his birthday or birthday bunny won't be able to bring any big boy toys.

If MIL brings new ones they are for the baby or drop them into the food bank (assuming she doesn't open them)

MummyPenguin2 · 28/09/2017 15:38

No weaning, just go cold turkey (it worked for DS age 3). He'll ask for it for a few nights, maybe have disrupted sleep for a week, but totally worth it. He's too old for a dummy and may well have dental issues. What has your dentist said? Has he been to a dentist?

MargoLovebutter · 28/09/2017 15:48

DD had a big dummy hand-over celebration on her 5th birthday. The dummy fairy took the foul, disgusting, gnawed on horrors that she would not relinquish dummies and left her a Barbie house.

Could you do something similar for your DS?

FWIW, DD has great teeth & speaks impeccably! But the dummies are ghastly & at nearly 6 it is definitely time to move on.

notsobeachready · 28/09/2017 15:50

Both of my DC's were dummy addicts. I say that because weaning them off was a hellish, sleep deprived nightmare. So you have my sympathy. But you do need to be firm now. If only because of the potential damage AND nosey arses at school sticking their beaks in. I won't pretend it's easy, but at least you have a better chance of persuading DC because the communication is there. Best of luck.

KarateKitten · 28/09/2017 15:53

Just put your foot down and follow through. You're the parent. These things are never the drama we psych ourselves up for.

SilverdaleGlen · 28/09/2017 15:53

My 5yo has one, we did give it up for a while but she literally couldn't sleep and with 2 others, a full time job and an absent father I could not cope and she got it back.

She's had a fairly traumatic time with the long protracted marriage breakdown which is still on going and if it helps her cope I could not give a shiny that a load of MNers peer down their nose at me.

Having said that her speech is advanced, her teeth are fine at every check up and she does not have them outside of car/bed/tired playtime only.

PollyFlint · 28/09/2017 15:54

Does he just have a dummy at night, or all the time?

My friend is a reception class teacher and has had a couple of kids aged four and five turn up to school with dummies in their mouths; she was pretty appalled ... as were the other kids in the class. Apparently the parents were massively offended when she explained that sending a child to school with the expectation that they'll be allowed to suck on a dummy all day isn't OK.

ginteresting · 28/09/2017 16:03

Not particularly proud of this but my oldest dd (5)had a dummy until recently. The dummy fairy came at 2 1/2 and took them away, in exchange for a present and she was absolutely fine. After the birth of second child, dummies were back in the house and she would sneak them, like a true addict. The only solution was to get rid of them, out of the house completely. It will be tough for the first night, but he will get over it if there's no supply

Mittens1969 · 28/09/2017 16:11

Both my DDs loved their dummies. With DD1 we managed to wean her off them at 21/2, but then our elderly cat had to be PTS and she really missed her (the cat's name was her first clear word). And because I was in a bad place I couldn't cope with DD being unsettled and crying at night I let her have the dummy back. Then at 3 we weaned her off them for good.

With DD2, it was a longer process weaning her off the dummy but we got there when she was just under 4.

It's hard work but it really can be done!

KarateKitten · 28/09/2017 16:15

Gin, you see my dd (just 3) adored her dummy and shared about 15 of them with her little sister. When she was told she's not allowed those dummy's anymore because she's a big girl, of course she's tried to sneak them but she is just not allowed them. Not allowed is not allowed.

FuzzyOwl · 28/09/2017 16:16

I would find a present or toy that your DS really wants and agree he can have it but the dummies have to go. Then if/when he is upset about not having a dummy, you can show him/remind him of the replacement and make the transition easier for him (and you).

GrandMasterFlash · 28/09/2017 16:22

I think it will be a loosing battle,if you have a baby with dummies...the eldest will just borrow theirs

My dd2 had a dummy until aged 5 or 6. She just agreed to stop one night (lots of discussion and failed trys at giving up previously). It took approx 4 nights to get used to it.

It's hard, good luck

Allthebestnamesareused · 28/09/2017 16:24

We got rid of both of ours at the Christmas after DSs were 2. They put them out on the plate for Santa for him to take for the "babies".

I assume a 5/6 year old will still believe in Santa and it is time for them to go. It will be harder as your 11 month old will still have theirs!

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