To think my husband should drink less now I'm pregnant?

[OrangeAndPink]

He was out with work tonight and came back drunk (said he'd "only" had 5 pints) then going away this weekend to stay with one of his mates who's a big drinker. Meanwhile I'm stuck at home... Whenever I bring it up he says he just wants to enjoy his freedom before the baby arrives.

I have no doubts at all that he'll knock this all on the head the second the baby is born but AIBU to wish he'd just do it now??

I think if he wants to get legless that isounds up to him. Not fun if our can't partake but he is his own person....

Why are you stuck at home? You are allowed a social life when you are pregnant.

Fair enough to ask him to cut down near your due date in case you go into labour, but why for the whole pregnancy?

You don't have to stay at home your entire pregnancy?

dont panic op it's only 9 months. You can leave him with baby soon enough and have a night out.

Sorry but yabu.
Why are your stuck at home?

Does he regularly drink to excess? Is that's what worrying you? Why are you stuck at home? Does he confiscate your shoes when he leaves?!

Yabu. His body, his choice, same applies to you.

YABU and a word to the wise. He doesn't fully get that you're going to be parents, and probably won't until the baby comes.

am I right that he drinks more than just 5 pints today and one weekend away with his mates?

Last time a checked being pregnant didn't mean you had to be housebound... go out with some friends yourself?

Did you discuss this before you got pregnant?

I agree, you're not confined to home because you're pregnant.

Why dont you have a social life?

Yabu, especially if he's not coming home when he's drinking and staying with a friend.

His mate would be when he says "lemonade please. Orange cant drink so I'm not going tonight either".

Bit ridiculous.

You really need to agree on behaviours etc before your baby arrives. If you're disagreeing now it will be hell when you're sleep deprived etc etc.

And yes you should be enjoying your freedom before the baby is born too. Gets a bit more difficult afterwards.

YABU. Unless you are very near your due date, I don't see any reason whatsoever why he should change his drinking habits. Unless of course his drinking habits are in themselves problematic, in which case that would need sorting whether you were pregnant or not.

Why should he. You are pregnant, not him.

Pregnant women don't have to be house bound and partners don't have to suddenly live as if they are the pregnant ones.

Go out. See your friends. Have a life.

You can go out and not drink you know.

Or, before all the ‘bodily autonomy’ fan club come on here, you can go out and get absolutely legless, smoke 40 fags and shoot heroin. Because it’s your right.

OP I'm sorry you're getting these harsh responses. AIBU is full of people who just want to have a go.

Of course you can do out when you're pregnant but sometimes you don't want to and that's absolutely fine.

How often is he going out? Are you spending a lot of time on your own? What's he like the next morning?

Is he listening to you when you say you don't like it?

Thanks for the replies. I think I'm just being a bit of a grump. I am still going out and seeing people it's just I tend to do stuff in the day and turn down the evening invitations to bars and clubs. I know I could still go but don't find it fun hanging out with drunk people when I'm sober. My fault really for being such a party animal (pre-pregnancy) and making friends with/marrying other winos! 😂

It just feels like some weekends are really lonely (even when he doesn't go away for the weekend) as I'm on a completely different schedule to my husband (and friends). Me: bed by 11, up at 7. Him/friends: drinking til 2/3, sleeping til lunchtime. I guess I should just use the extra time to do all those pelvic floor exercises my midwife's been telling me to do!! 🙄

I don't think YABU at all. I wanted my OH to stop as soon as I was pregnant - one day he was really nasty to me because of his drink and he was really sorry, and since then he has not had a drink (probably about one or two and that's it). Is he going to keep doing this when baby arrives?! Also you go out as well. I was always going to the pub having meals and drinks (non alcoholic) with my friends. X

YABU but so are most of the replies. Its Aibu, not 'can you come and berate me if I ask aibu and it turns out I am'.

Ps - you can do pelvic floor exercises while you nurse an orange juice and watch your drunken friends making a tit of themselves too!

Thanks @invisiblecats - you've hit the nail on the head. I do end up spending a lot of time on my own both evenings and following mornings so end up feeling quite lonely at times.

@Mittens92 I suggested the same to my husband- we were both big drinkers before pregnancy, so if I've given up why shouldn't he? That did not go down well at all - and actually a lot of my friends thought it was harsh of me to suggest. He's said he'll give up after Christmas so just another couple of months to go...

Haha @Icanteat good description of (the reality of) AIBU!