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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to win at scrabble?

46 replies

ChickenMom · 27/09/2017 22:39

my DH and I have an unresolved argument that keeps flaring up. I'd like some impartial opinions please. Several years ago we played scrabble. It ended in a furious row after he accused me of "shutting down" the board. Basically I play the highest score I can, with the tiles that I have in front of me. His opinion is that if I put a word down that then "closes off" his ability to play a word, I'm playing aggressively and that makes me not a nice person. I'm failing to understand his point of view. Surely I should just be playing to the best score I can make with the tiles that I have? If I try and defend the way that I play then he accuses me of getting angry...I feel that I'm in a no win situation here. It feels that he wants me to let him win or "downplay" myself and if I don't do that, I'm viewed negatively and in my opinion, unfairly. I'm a bit lost here and would like some opinions on how to handle this please as its making me really annoyed with him. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't act this way towards a male friend or somebody who wasn't his wife!

OP posts:
00100001 · 27/09/2017 22:40

Have you tried playing a nice game of monopoly with him?

phoolani · 27/09/2017 22:41

YANBU. I just wish I was better at scrabble. Despite being very good with words generally, I’m a bit shit at it. If I could though, I would smash dp into the ground.

WhispersOfWickedness · 27/09/2017 22:42

YANBU, what's the point in playing a game if you're not going to try to get the best score? Confused A child, maybe, but an adult? Hmm

2017SoFarSoGood · 27/09/2017 22:42

Of course you play to win. Why play if you don't? He's being ridiculous. Perhaps you should LTB Grin

DH and I no longer play board games. Not since 'that scrabble incident'

Pinkshowerpuff · 27/09/2017 22:43

He's a sore loser Grin

You're not even meant to see his tiles so how would you know where he can go.

SpottedGingham · 27/09/2017 22:43

Scrabble is a game of playing your best word in the best place.

He's a bad loser.

AlternativeTentacle · 27/09/2017 22:43

So he doesn't actually want a competition, he wants to win? At all costs, even at the expense of you not using your brain.

Get back in the kitchen right now, wench.m

WhyDidIEatThat · 27/09/2017 22:44

Scrabble is a blood sport in this house, your husband wouldn't survive.

Fromage · 27/09/2017 22:46

I think he doesn't understand the rules of the game. Or he's the world's worst loser.

Stick to snakes and ladders.

MNHQ
IonaMumsnet · 27/09/2017 22:47

LTB (leave the boardgames), OP. In all seriousness though, if you play again and want to kick his sorry arse, my best ever Scrabble tip* is the word 'Zo', also spelled 'Xo' and even 'Tso', I believe. I think it's some kind of yak...

*Disclaimer: a friend told me this after several bottles of wine and I have absolutely no evidence that it's a legitimate word, but my DH has never challenged it, so it has become fact in my eyes.

Original poster
ChickenMom · 27/09/2017 22:47

That's exactly how I view it. I have zero idea of what tiles he has. He could have 7 A's!! I'm not a mind reader. It feels like he's using it as an excuse to punish me for something or cause a rift? He's now gone off to bed after accusing me of getting angry but he was condescending when he asked if I always play to win against our child. I said "of course not" and he said "well then"...wtf? so I'm supposed to not play to win against you because you are a child? what? I'm obviously missing something here...I've said to him before that my self confidence and self esteem are currently at an all time low and I could really do without this right now!

OP posts:
MumsOnCrack · 27/09/2017 22:47

YANBU - LTB! And come and play scrabble with me! Smile

Nah, just tell him he needs to get better at it!

MumsOnCrack · 27/09/2017 22:49

My DH is dyslexic so we let him off last time we played as he had "arsebiscuit"...he won Smile

00100001 · 27/09/2017 22:49

Qi is your friend too. Especially on the triples!

BrandNewHouse · 27/09/2017 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhyDidIEatThat · 27/09/2017 22:50

Xo is not a scrabble word

Singap0reSling · 27/09/2017 22:54

What?! Your DH thinks there's another way to play scrabble???

There's only one way that I know and that's to win and I don't care if I shred DH's self-esteem in the process Grin It's a blood sport in this household Blush

Your DH is just a scrabble wuss.

MNHQ
IonaMumsnet · 27/09/2017 23:05

WhydidIeatthat: What?? No way! Don't tell my DH.

WhyDidIEatThat · 27/09/2017 23:21

Xu and xi are good though

JeReviens · 27/09/2017 23:24

Xi, xu, qat, suq and jin/jinn/djinn. All very useful to know!

SleepingStandingUp · 27/09/2017 23:24

Youdont a scrabble to massage his ego. You play to win. No nice play rules unless he's under 12

DramaticIroning · 27/09/2017 23:25

Zo, Zho or Dzo are the acceptable spellings. Unfortunately xo isn't a word is but xi is definitely ok (and what DH doesn't know won't hurt him!).

RaininSummer · 27/09/2017 23:27

My family won't play any word games with me. When I am retired I will join some old peoples groups so I can play scrabble.

Original poster
ChickenMom · 27/09/2017 23:44

Thanks for all your replies. Much appreciated. I think sadly, scrabble has to be banned in my house until big toddler men can learn to play nicely and keep their rudeness to themselves!

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 27/09/2017 23:46

Also if you've been arguing over this one game for YEARS you really need to work out what's going on there.

As Else sad, LET IT GO DUDE

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