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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to win at scrabble?

46 replies

ChickenMom · 27/09/2017 22:39

my DH and I have an unresolved argument that keeps flaring up. I'd like some impartial opinions please. Several years ago we played scrabble. It ended in a furious row after he accused me of "shutting down" the board. Basically I play the highest score I can, with the tiles that I have in front of me. His opinion is that if I put a word down that then "closes off" his ability to play a word, I'm playing aggressively and that makes me not a nice person. I'm failing to understand his point of view. Surely I should just be playing to the best score I can make with the tiles that I have? If I try and defend the way that I play then he accuses me of getting angry...I feel that I'm in a no win situation here. It feels that he wants me to let him win or "downplay" myself and if I don't do that, I'm viewed negatively and in my opinion, unfairly. I'm a bit lost here and would like some opinions on how to handle this please as its making me really annoyed with him. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't act this way towards a male friend or somebody who wasn't his wife!

OP posts:

SleepingStandingUp · 27/09/2017 23:46

As Elsa said

LightDrizzle · 28/09/2017 00:02

God, what a turn off!

Aquamarine1029 · 28/09/2017 00:12

Xo is not a word. Xu, xi are. And your husband is a fucking baby.

WaveWash · 28/09/2017 00:13

In the past I played thousands and thousands of games of scrabble online (Quadplex) and got really good at it. (despite being crap at spelling) I'd practice every day. However it now means that I can't 'play to win' with normal players as I play so defensively. It's fun if you play with other experienced players because they are playing the same way but it's boring for everyone if you play like that with less experienced players.
I still play with one of my adult DCs but we are really casual with the scoring and rules.

There are some players on Quadplex who are ridiculously good. If you didn't know better you would think think you were playing against a bot.

BreconBeBuggered · 28/09/2017 00:33

I couldn't respect my DH if he didn't play Scrabble to win, whether by playing well himself or shutting down possibilities for me.

I couldn't respect myself if I didn't beat him at least 9 times out of 10.

MinorRSole · 28/09/2017 00:37

You play to win and most people make the mistake of using too many letters, even 7 letter words aren't always worth it.

That being said, nobody in my house will play with me, so I console myself by thrashing strangers online

Littledrummergirl · 28/09/2017 00:37

Get yourself the scrabble app and play online. It tries to match you with those of similar ability once you've won/lost a few games.
I really enjoy it.

Whatjusthappenedexactly · 28/09/2017 00:52

Playing an on line version of scrabble with DH at the mo. (Words with friends). It's allowed him to place Que !!! I'm fucking furious. . He's just not getting the fact that this is not a line of people nor something you hit a snooker ball with. I've looked it up on the official scrabble list and it's not a word so I'm not playing any more. Especially as early in the game it disallowed nazi , depriving me of 43 points!

I may also need to LTB ( game) .

PrincessFiorimonde · 28/09/2017 01:44

When we were kids, the arguments were so heated that my dad renamed it 'Squabble'.

rightsofwomen · 28/09/2017 02:06

When you said closing the board down I thought you were going to say you place single tiles in places where a long word could go, because you couldn't be bothered to find a longer word or just wanted to stop your opponent using the long-word opportunity. Not against the rules but it makes for a boring and too-quick game.

My sister once wiped the smiles off our smug little faces with "mesquite" on the triple word with Q on the double letter.

BuggersMuddle · 28/09/2017 02:15

Your DH is being a big baby. Of course I play to win (and I generally do win). DH's ego is healthy enough that he recognises the fact I'm better in Scrabble is relevant only on the context of er, Scrabble.

(Although I did once have a random take a strop over my trying to play too well on one of the Scrabble-like apps )

Tableforjuan · 28/09/2017 03:28

We once went to watch the National Scrabble championships and the winning word was Coniines

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 28/09/2017 03:48

My BIL refused to accept my word "ninja" because it didn't happen to be in my FIL's prehistoric dictionary.
I left the game.

2 weeks later I bought a book in a charity shop and sent it to him.

It had the word "ninja" on the front cover in 6" tall red letters and inside I wrote "I won"
😂

SisyphusHadItEasy · 28/09/2017 05:25

Qaid is the best word ever.

It is even in the Scrabble dictionary.

You can thank me later.

And if you really want to play a nice, friendly, peaceful game... I suggest Risk, Stratego, or Uno.

SisyphusHadItEasy · 28/09/2017 05:30

My highest scoring word ever was reequips across 2 triples.

I was not so politely asked to leave my grandmother's house.

I didn't even know she knew the words she used to direct me to the door...

Shoxfordian · 28/09/2017 05:32

Sounds like he doesn't respect you very much OP

McT123 · 28/09/2017 07:07

I actually get why your partner (may) be upset. If you are playing a fun game of Scrabble then keeping the board open for both players makes for a more enjoyable game; playing words which may score more highly than the alternatives but close off areas of the board making it harder for everyone to play and can make a game frustrating.

For example if a player can only play a three-letter word as the first word on the board, if the second player plays another three-letter word through the centre of the first (making a cross) then the options on the next round are greatly reduced however if the second player plays a longer (but maybe lower scoring) word off the first or last letter, this opens the board up and makes the game easier and ususally more enjoyable to play.

So perhaps YAB a bit U.

SabineUndine · 28/09/2017 07:13

You're better than him, us the problem. HIS problem.

WaveWash · 28/09/2017 09:19

I wonder what the answers would be if this thread was about sport, say tennis, and it was the male that was the much stronger player?

Playing scrabble to win if you are the much stronger player is boring and pointless. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think YABU and a bit daft. If you are a good player you should be able to play an open game and still beat him. You just need to be more subtle about it.

Pestilentialone · 28/09/2017 09:26

Official two letter word list learn them and make your opponents weep. Don't bother playing DH again, closing the board is a valid tactic ( and nearly impossible if against a decent player).

MinorRSole · 28/09/2017 21:44

I wonder what the answers would be if this thread was about sport, say tennis, and it was the male that was the much stronger player?

I also play tennis to a relatively passable standard and would say it is definitely easier to downplay your skill in tennis than in scrabble. Of course that might just be me but with tennis I can just aim the ball back to them and keep the rally going, with scrabble I see my place and nothing else! Am extremely competitive though and am very open about that!

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