To think this is fucking inappropriate

[reallythoughjeff]

There was a murder in our village a few days ago, shocking and sad police/fi crews etc been around the past few days.
On Facebook tonight I see a post from someone I know, a picture of her kids tearing about with police caps on pulling stupid faces at the side of one of the police cars that is parked at the house/street where the murder happened, and the post was something along the lines of "it's sad but life goes on"
Aibu in thinking this is in poor taste?

Nothing wrong with the children wearing the hats, I think it's better for children to see the police as friendly rather than scary or bad but their mother's caption was completely wrong and insensitive.

I lost someone dear in very tragic, and a bit too public circumstances.

I am afraid life does go on for other people. Yours might feel like it stopped, and the first few days don't even exist when you are in shock and the reality takes time to register, but for people around you, life does go on. They might give you a sympathetic pat on the back, but then they carry on.

It's probably as it should be, we can't all stop everytime tragedy strikes. I just find all the comments above so hypocritical because I witnessed first hand that people who are not involved do love a bit of drama , but are really not that affected when it's not their loved one. By itself, it's fine I guess, but looking down smugly at someone who is a bit more honest is crass. Just my experience.

Awful

Lack of tact and empathy which she will no doubt pass on to her dc.

Grim

Very disrespectful and in poor taste of them. I'd be shocked to see something like this on Facebook, but sadly probably not as shocked as I might have been a few years ago. There is such a culture of voyeurism and lack of consideration now, esp on Fbook and the like. It's like if there aren't photos it didn't happen nowadays.

I just find all the comments above so hypocritical

I also lost someone close in awful circumstances, fairly publically less than a year ago.

Everyone has a different experience and opinion but I still think what that mother wrote under a photo taken effectively at the scene was insensitive, especially in a village setting where it's possible someone who knew the person who died may see it.

After his death I saw online insensitive comments, it hurt and I won't pretend it didn't.

I don't feel I am being hypocritical.

But life still carrying on for other people doesn't have to include insensitive photo opportunities and tactless captions though does it

I wouldn't say she's a friend, just someone I know. And yes it is cringe it also says "they loved it"
Where is the respect an innocent person has been killed ffs.
The sad thing is 60 people have liked the post, what's wrong with people.

Post " comments like that and you'll be a suspect " .

The 'likers' are as bad IMO

Wtf is wrong with people? No bloody empathy or awareness of anything other than their own little lives, which they have to plaster all over FB.

My kids were friends with Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman, we had hoards (literally had coachloads diverting off their route to visit the church) of visitors to the churchyard in the days the girls were missing. In the days after their bodies were found there were parents posing there children on gravestones for photos and entire families wandering through the graves, eating fish and chips, taking snaps and posting the photos to social media. I cannot tell you the reactions of my then 10 and 12 year olds. My daughter wanted to rip them limb from limb. Social media brings out the worst in some people and some people have no moral scruples.

Hell

That is truly disgusting

I don't think the children (or the police officers) were doing anything wrong and I don't even think the sentiment that "life goes on is wrong". When I lost a close friend in terrifying circumstances actually the the mundane lives of other people all around me were quite comforting - they'd all felt pain in their lives and would do again but they were still functioning if that makes sense.
Sticking it in Facebook is pretty awful, but I just use Facebook for the frothy and the funny stuff some people use it for everything.

In the days after their bodies were found there were parents posing there children on gravestones for photos and entire families wandering through the graves, eating fish and chips, taking snaps and posting the photos to social media.

Social media wasn't really prevalent then - MySpace hadn't even been invented, let along Facebook. So people lacked scruples way before social media could be blamed.

found there were parents posing there children on gravestones for photos and entire families wandering through the graves, eating fish and chips, taking snaps and posting the photos to social media

I think you may be exaggerating, rather a lot. For a start what social media were they all posting pictures on, in 2002?
Rather bad taste, don't you think?

LJ, various blog hosters (blogger I think was there from the late 90s) many web forums, blog aggregators and picture hosting social sites - it may not have been on the same scale but there were certainly there.

I'd have to block someone like this. That type of comment and thinking is FUBAR.

Not in the way described in the post above they were not.

I'd be surprised if the poster from soham was being entirely accurate.

I lived up the road at the time, the whole area was devastated.

Yes, massively poor taste. It doesn't matter if the police gave the kids hats to try on - police do sometimes do that sort of thing to reassure children and make them feel at ease with the presence, which is fine - she is a complete dickhead for a) taking pics and posting them on Facebook and b) captioning them with that comment. I do think this is a situation when I'd have to say something, and I'm someone who usually just ignores/unfriends!

Is this the one where the little boy was murdered? If so that's fucking sicker than sick.

Of course life goes on. I'm sure no-one expects the entire village to stay home from work. But you don't bloody pose outside the house of a murder victim, mucking around, and then put it on Facebook with that caption. Callous in the extreme.

Meh. Can't see this as any worse than the usual griefwanking - everybody's social media filling up with badly-photoshopped candles and flowers and dreadful poetry any time a newsworthy death occurs.

Yanbu, what an example to set

There's a difference between a disrespectful behaviour in a cemetery - at any time, even Halloween!, and something not directly related to the tragedy.

I have no problem with insensitive but honest comments, they are not disrespectful or addressed to the family. The worst are the fake-mourners who have to include themselves in the tragedy and make it all about them. "I was so shocked, I am so upset, I can't stop crying bladibla". A bit like people sobbing when Diana died. It was a very sad event, but unless you were friend or family, her disappearance didn't have any effect on you, did it.

A photo from a stranger saying it's sad but life goes on really doesn't bother me. The sight of some random sobbing in front the house when they didn't know the victim, or have seen him once in the street... that made me very angry.