aibu to love this blog post about why formula feeding is brilliant?!

[girlwithasecretsmile]

I think it's great to have a post talking about good things about formula for once but part of me feels bad for laughing so much.

passmethebottleblog.wordpress.com/

workingbling great point
I was a teen mother with my first and lived at home with a ton of support from friends and family (in particular my mom) , and after having my second baby in January as an adult on my own miles away in my own home the experience has been so SOO starkly different.

Sometimes I curse the bs western nuclear family set up.

But really, the thing about bf in those early days is you really need time and support. You need to be comfortable on that couch for endless hours which means someone else has to make you tea and meals. You need to get whatever sleep you can so when you aren't feeding, someone else needs to be holding the baby or changing the baby or whatever. That's what my mum did for me with ds and allowed me to feed him for 4 weeks against all the odds.

And that's great that you got that.... but many women don't need this in order to breastfeed. I don't understand the need for all this when many people can just crack on. I held and changed my baby as well as feeding.... I personally don't understand the view point that you can't do both?
But again, this is just different experiences. Perhaps you did need all that, but saying that is what all mothers need in order to be successful is not right.

No it isn't right.

I found breastfeeding very very easy.
When my second was 2 days old I was establishing breastfeeding also wrestling my 2 year old into a car seat doing the weekly shop at Tesco, OH at work, no family help.

I think the main lack of support is more practical.

I think it would be a massive mistake to underplay the need for much better, much more readily available specialist breastfeeding advice, support and intervention.

No amount of sofa time would have fixed the issues DS1 and I had. No amount of cooked meals and cups of tea will fix a tongue tie or inverted nipples.

This is the tricky thing with breastfeeding. Some people may need support in the form of meals, holding the baby etc but others don't. If it was presented as fact that when my husband was back at work I'd need someone with me I'd wonder if I could breastfeed. Turns out for both children it was fine.

Can you tell me how you're wearing nice bras and breastfeeding ? I need to know because I wear these grey £1 ones from eBay that look horrendous . Ta in advance

Hot milk do lovely ones. Expensive though. After a while I just wear a normal bra and pull the straps down when I need to feed, but of a faff but ok when you're not feeding them so much, I need underwire!

Not all babies clusterfeed, mine never did really, my 2nd was a breeze especially when I gave him a dummy early straight away, I think nipple confusion is often bollocks and dummies can be a godsend!

The problem is when you point out you BF easily it's seen as sneering or being smug when you are just giving your experience.
Like when I said I BF a prem baby and I got told "give yourself a clap"
Not necessary.

Mix feeding for me was the best.
I liked doing both and you have to do what makes life easiest in the end.
I'd be suspicious of any blog post that involves selling me anything.

I think it's very hard for any of us with experience of feeding (or immersed in it) to not pass judgement on ourselves and others because.. it's just so all-consuming, isn't it? And you can't help but have an experience and a view coloured by what has happened to you and your kids.

But don't we need to try and be kind, compassionate to each other- which includes giving everyone a bit of space to have their own experience, and a way to share that honestly?

Maybe that also means we don't have to jump in with comparisons, or buts, or negativity, or defensiveness, related to our own view??

There is a huge difference between

• I hate breastfeeding

-I love breastfeeding, it's been lovely for me and DS -formula has been great for me -a bit of both has worked wonders

V

-I hate breastfeeding, anyone who thinks otherwise can do one
-I love breastfeeding (and if you don't exclusively BF you are abusive)
-formula has been great (two fingers to the breast gestapo)

Etc etc

(I've been up since 3, apologies if that doesn't make much sense..)

cup you can buy conversion kits on ebay so you sew an undoable hook into the front straps. After a while though I wouldn't be bothered with the sewing.

These days I just hoik myself out of the top of the cup and rearrange when I'm done. I'm very much a bravissimo type size but it still works fine.

People often say "well done" for breastfeeding, especially hcps, it's nice to hear but sends the wrong message I think, it shouldn't be necessary.

wingerkite I agree. I think it can be quite patronising and gives the message that it is something extraordinary.

I would like to see breastfeeding treated as normal and ordinary.

I'm bowing out of this thread now. Can't believe I stayed so long. There's something about the tone and approach of people on bf threads that really isn't nice. I say women need practical support and lots of answers coming back saying, no you're wrong because bf was easy for me and should be do for everyone. The irony of women who bf feeling the original blog was smug or offensive to them is amusing because so many (not all, of course) of the bf brigade act that way in every post.

Working that's not what anyone is saying. If you misunderstood me what I was saying is that not everyone needs that help. Some people may need it, but it's not a given that you'll struggle and need help.

I think the literature should say SOME people have difficulty with breastfeeding and need family/ professional support and SOME don't.

In my experience breastfeeding is easier. My baby woke up 3 times for feeds last night and I didn't get out of bed once. When I watch a film later and he's hungry I won't need to make a bottle I'll just pick him up and feed. When I visit friends this weekend I won't need to think about how much milk he needs. In my opinion this makes my life easier. This is why I prefer to breastfeed because in my opinion it's the lazy option.

Lazy option for me too nersnerr.

Baby wakes, latch on, feeds. Back to sleep. No need to get out of bed.
Out and about, hungry baby, lift t shirt, feed, walk on.
Baby hungry in supermarket, in sling, lift t shirt latch, carry on with shopping.

For me laziness was a factor.

The vast majority of women give up breast feeding. The maj want to bf and start. It doesn't take much intelligence to work out that many, many women find it hard. Support should begin before birth and part of that support should be honesty. As a twin mum and having had spells in hospital I had plenty of access to professionals including access to a Laleche professional. Said lady was very impressed with my knowledge and determination to bf. After a couple of hours long session with said lady not one possible future difficulty was mentioned. I sailed off wondering what all the fuss was about. 6 weeks after birth we were on full formula. I felt it was just me who had difficulties and thus it was impossible.

"I say women need practical support and lots of answers coming back saying, no you're wrong because bf was easy for me and should be do for everyone"

That's not what anyone said. Honestly. But your post did suggest that in order to bf you need to have lots of practical help and somebody with you to look after you while you do it. Other people were pointing out that In an ideal world you would have that if you wanted it, but lots of people manage without.

And I agree with you about the tone on threads like this. I hate the "walking on eggshells" feeling.

IroningMountain- this is really not intended to be snippy-but was that in pre Internet days?

I'm not that old. 2004, pretty sure I was MNing then. The fact is the internet doesn't tell you how common problems are. Gtg now.

I'm not that old. 2004, pretty sure I was MNing then. The fact is the internet doesn't tell you how common problems are. Gtg now.

I really disagree - I found lots and lots on this (first baby 2011) including plenty on MN, and some great and honest support and advice.

What I found shocking was how bad the offered RL support was. I thought 'if I have trouble, I'll ask a midwife/HV/go to the GP'. I've never come across a midwife or HV who knew their arse from a baby's elbow when it came to breastfeeding problems, and my GP had to look stuff up in a book until I stuck Kellymom printouts under his nose.

"I'm not that old. 2004, pretty sure I was MNing then"
Sorry! I am though- and I had my first baby in 1995. And I knew about possible problems. I can't remember how. And I remember one of my NCT friends having to stop bf because of hideous mastitis. Bizarrely, tongue tie just wasn't a thing in those days. That's something I can't figure out......

Bert, do you reckon it was just not talked about, women had a hideous time feeding, babies lost weight, result: formula?

Particularly when promoting breastfeeding wasn't seen as a public health priority and doctors saw no reason to do a medical procedure just to support breastfeeding, so cutting tongue ties fell out of favour. And if you're not going to do anything about it, there would be no reason to tell new mothers about it, I guess.

It's just a theory. But if true, you have an artificially high population of women who found breastfeeding really hard, whose daughters are now having babies. There's generational stuff at play I reckon.

I'm sure I've read somewhere about midwives way back keeping one fingernail long and sharpened so the could sever a tongue tie at birth.

I totally agree with pp who've remarked on the lack of skilled support. My first dc had a 100% tongue tie. In hospital for a week with staff denying the tongue tie and pushing me to give formula. I felt so bullied at the time and my
Normal confidence had left me. In the end under pressure I gave some formula even though I knew all it would do would unnecessarily expose her gut to cows milk and impair my own milk supply. I was sobbing. I still tear up when recalling it. I never gave her formula again because One wonderful midwife with large warm rough hands and a beautiful Caribbean voice helped me in the night to latch her on with unique positioning. We had the tongue tie cut three weeks later. I will never forget that woman's kindness and wisdom and I will be forever grateful to her for bolstering my confidence in my ability to feed my baby. Pretty much everyone else in that hospital seemed to be trained by formula r us.