To be drowning?

[CredulousThickos]

I am so inconsistent.

I’ll have days or weeks of being super organised with laundry, housework, helping with homework, walking the dog at the same time, making and keeping appointments, you get the idea.

And then it all goes to shit, again for either days or weeks. So last week I decluttered several rooms, had all the laundry done and put away, the kitchen stayed tidy, I’d finally organised the boiler service, made everyone exciting lunches for work and school, bounced out of bed at quarter to six every morning, exercised, showered every day, went to the shop to top up milk and bread as needed, had emails all printed and signed for school and scouts etc. Basically adulted like a pro.

And since the weekend I haven’t showered, everyone’s had cheese sandwiches today and yesterday, we had takeaway last night, the washing pile is seven foot high again and ds2 doesn’t have a clean shirt, I missed a doctors appt yesterday, the dog hasn’t been walked for two days, all the stuff I decluttered is in bags in the hallway for the tip/charity. The kitchen floor is revolting, the beds need changing, ds2’s bedroom needs some serious attention (it was his birthday yesterday and there is literally nowhere for his mountain of presents to go so they are all in the front room). I snoozed my alarm this morning and I’m still not dressed. My neighbour is taking ds to school as I can’t face it, which means the dog won’t have her walk so I’ll have to take her out later. It’s just shit. I just feel completely overwhelmed and it is a horrible vicious cycle.

I want to be one of those people who does the same sort of thing every day. As my mother is fond of saying, if I just kept on top of it all it would all fall into place.

I know a lot of this is mh related and believe me I’m a lot better than I used to be, but I can’t seem to sort my shit out enough to keep the momentum going.

How do people do it? I’m hiding in the bathroom because it’s the tidiest room in the house and I’m having palpitations whenever I walk into the kitchen and front room. Im drowning and it’s pathetic.

Is your bipolar being properly managed? My mum has bipolar and it took years to get the meds at the right balance.

Sandgrown - I'm also good at doing the stuff other people would notice like organising.

The housework however....

I'm the same OP. I can do days where I feel like....yesssss I've got this adult shit!! Then days where I don't know my arse from my elbow. Is it a conscious decision? Does my brain suddenly just go....nope, today you will procrastinate on Facebook/mumsnet/kindle and the kids shall not have their gym kits and you'll run out of bread.

I have depression which is currently worse after ds2 was born 10 weeks ago.

It might help, it might not, but I've started doing "5 a day". 5 tasks, and they can be anything from having a shower, doing the dishwasher, a load of washing, washing the cat bowls, running the hoover round - they all count. And I use the notes on my phone to record what I've done.

Anything outside of basic care ("everybody fed, nobody dead") is counted as a task.

Some days I manage 12, some days I manage 3. But it gives me something to aim for.

How are you doing today?

I had a really good couple of days and sorted/decluttered all the children's books (there were over 400!).

But the living room is a mess now and I am far too tired to deal with it yet!

I often feel like I can't have more than a couple of good days in a row - I think my 'adulting/not-adulting' cycle is quite a quick one rather than being weeks at a time IYSWIM. But I am trying to slowly build up good habits that at least see us through the bad phases with a little bit of the basics covered. So no matter what today I WILL do some laundry and I'll feel better in the knowledge that it won't be building up.

This post is amazing. It helps us put into perspective how many of us suffer with these issues which gives us strength. All the tips and advice are brilliant. Good luck everyone xxx

I am the same. It sucks x

Amen sister. I could've written your post OP. All we can do is strive to be like our organised selves all the time but hey, we're human. Give yourself a break and don't beat yourself up. The fact you CAN do it is more than a lot of people. Some people live in permanent chaos and disorganisation. You're just a balanced individual!

Could you just be completely bored OP? All that drudgery is not very inspiring. What do you do that you gets you away from it?

Start by not thinking you alone. Lots of us are in the same boat.

Choose one of two things to do. I often choose the washing plus something else as the washing can be done at the same time as you do something else as once it is in the machine it washes itself.
Then you can do something else say drop the bags to the charity shops then have a cup of coffee then hang the washing out. Put a second load in then walk the dog, come home, have another coffee and then hang the washing out. Then fold it in the evening in front of the tv. You have got a few jobs done.
If you manage this then just enjoy that you got these jobs done. Do not worry about the other jobs. Just do the same again the next day but choose another job. But just pick one or two a day. It sounds like you try and achieve everything. Don't worry about that. Just small jobs and you will get there. I have changed my life doing this. The house is manageable now. Perfect - no. Spotless - no. All jobs done - no. Liveable and less stressful - yes.

The one job you must do is walk the dog. It's unfair to not walk him/her so do make yourself go on a walk. Find a favourite place that you enjoy walking him/her and do it everyday.

Think you are doing too much on up days and then crashing. Maybe an increase in mood stabiliser would help if b.p related? Good to exercise, also yoga or mindfulness/meditation may help balance, agree use some energy for you and try to rest. Don't be superwoman on a good day, good enough is ok. Look after yourself.

Also take a day to do something you like. Do two days of jobs, normal stuff then reward yourself with a day off. Go to an art gallery, lunch with a friend or family, wander round the shops by yourself, trip to the beach, the library, a swimming lesson. Whatever you enjoy. Then you have something to look forward to as well.

For those that know its a monthly cycle thing look up pmdd have had this my whole life and always knew it was hormone related but no one would ever listen.

Well it’s all gone to shit a bit again because we all have the raging voms. But I don’t feel too guilty about not doing it all because that actually can’t be helped.

I could have cheerfully slaughtered DH (who isn’t ill) this morning when I came down to find all his dinner and breakfast stuff everywhere though. Grr.

I am mindful of not letting it all build up though, so despite feeling like shit I’ve sorted the kitchen (it took six minutes!) and put a wash on. DD is off but not poorly (48hr rule) and has just offered to hoover, the sweetheart. I’ve made my bed and had a very quick shower and I’m now laying on my bed doing fantasy shopping on the iPad.

It’s funny because I’m now itching to do some proper jobs like reorganising the main bathroom and sorting out the garage but I feel too ill to. You can guarantee when I’m fighting fit again the urge will have gone...

Is there anything constructive you can do from bed? Like a meal plan and online food shop?

If you're stuck in bed can you do Christmas shopping? Or write Christmas cards? Get as ahead as you can.

Haha see I told you 6 minutes ever since I realised it takes six minutes to wash up and wipe the sides down, I rarely don't do it. Even though you're all sick, which is crappy, you 'sound' a lot perkier in yourself. Don't overdo it, spread things out in little bits so you don't get knackered.

Hope you get well soon... Christmas present shipping is a great idea!

Hope you feel better soon. I'm like this too. I am utterly bewildered at how other people seem to keep their house passably clean and tidy all the time. I have tried asking a couple of good friends (ones I know don't care about my house) and it's useless as I think they are just as bewildered at why I can't do it.

Another here who absolutely could have written the OP. Some great tips- I sort of feel better that there are others who feel the same as me and I'm not just a crappy wife/mother. The amount of 'stuff' to do around the house overwhelms me and as I suffer with chronic pain and a number of health conditions, I find that when I do try to do anything for more than 5 mins or so it knocks me out completely for the next couple of days. I only work 2 days but spend most of the rest of the week recovering from that. Am constantly apologising to my DC as I feel the weight of everything falls on my DH. I like the idea of writing down 5 tasks a day you've achieved- washing my hair would be a good start! (even writing that felt cathartic- can I use it as one of my 5 tasks?!).

ps forgot to say get well soon, OP!!

I could have written your OP as well.

Last week I was also adulting like a pro. Completely cleared the decks.

One full-on weekend with no time to breathe and it's all gone to shit.

This week I need to be in bed by 9pm every night and, although the laundry is done, none has been put away.

There are piles of paperwork to be done.

Sigh.

Wow, I think it's great you have organised periods. My life is generally like your second description... as long as everyone one is still alive and are fed at the end of the day give them s hug and a kiss and give yourself a little break. You're doing the best you can and that's all you can ask of yourself.
☕️️ and 🍰 and best wishes to you.

How are you doing @CredulousThickos :) hope you are all over the bug.

Morning all.

Well the last couple of days have been great, I think because of being sick and not being able to do much, as soon as I felt better I was in an ‘up’ kind of mood.

I wanted to swap the sideboard in the front room for the tall dresser in the kitchen. So I did that on Monday and then ended up rearranging three rooms! All three rooms look so much better now, and I’ve freed up more storage. So because everything is organised and tidy it’s stayed that way.

I also did some admin stuff yesterday so I’m feeling very grown up

I have seven (!) baskets of clean washing to put away today but I am going to watch a bit of telly in my lovely tidy front room for a bit first. I’m trying to pace myself so I can keep it up.