Aibu to ask u to tell me your most painful

[Glowsticksforthehoechicks]

Moment , as in emotional , I actually feel like my heart may physically break is this normal ?

Aged 13 my best friend turned on me with two other girls she became friends with. They met up without me, made jokes at my expense and discussed the fun they had at school. She allowed me to hang out with her but made it clear I had been demoted. I had no confidence, was shy and being bullied by peers. We used to do everything together and then she dropped me. I remember feeling actual physical pain and having no-one to talk to. I kept it all inside and have told no-one to this day. I went on to make other friends but that destroyed me. I rarely trust anyone or allow anyone to get close enough that if they switched/walked away it would affect me. I have friends but not best friends.

Realising a boy I loved did not feel the same way about me. He was happy to sleep with me of course. I was in my late teens and was frightened by the strong feelings I had. It was verging obsession.

Family deaths - just awful.

Hearing my autistic son howling when he realised his beloved granddad (my dad) wasn't going to come round from a coma - following meningitis (we had to withdraw life support a week later). The realisation that my dad could have been saved if his negligent GP had prescribed antibiotics for a simple ear infection

The final realisation that I wouldn't be able to have children naturally. But now we have our adopted DD who is just amazing & we would never have had her if I could have conceived.

Hearing the Dr confirm my dad has Alzheimers & seeing my intelligent, lovely Dad deteriorate, he's being taken away everyday from us all by this fucking awful disease. With my parents I'm upbeat & positive, as soon as I leave their home, I'm in bits.

My beloved 3 cats dying over a number of years, the pain is still there years on, it never goes, they meant to me than members of my family.

My recent diagnosis of breast cancer, spending 6 weeks of uncertainty awaiting results from biopsies & a mastectomy, living in absolute fear I won't see my young children grow up, would they remember me? Also the worry of who would help look after my parents. The absolute unbearable pain to carry that around for that long not knowing how long I had & seeing the pain of that diagnosis in my loved ones. I will hopefully recover & I've never wanted to live my life as much. Cherish everyone you love & live your fucking life.