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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is cheeky as hell

50 replies

noyoucanthavemycat · 25/09/2017 10:13

OH is notorious for making friends with just about everyone. The other night a friend of his takes him along to a small house party and he befriends the hosts. He accidentally leaves his glasses behind.

The next day he tells them he left the glasses and they say they'll come and drop them off, sounds lovely!

Except the lady and her boyfriend turn up with her 2 kids and teenage niece in tow and invite themselves in. I'm in the kitchen at this point and OH is too kind to turn them all away please be meaner next time

They have a female cat that is very similar to one of our cats so they're gushing over him saying how they want them to have kittens together. Didn't bother me too much though I'm not keen myself.

Then the kids start saying they want to take our cat home! (they are about 8 & 11 so old enough to be polite) And the bf starts talking to our cat and saying 'oh you want to come home with us don't you'!!! And I then later find out he secretly asked OH if we would sell our cat to them! Shock OH met them the day before and this was my first time meeting them!!!! (not to mention I'd never do that to my cat!)

They proceed to stay in our home for a few hours watching Netflix, making comments about our cat and inside jokes about our other cat in front of us (wtf?) despite OH saying bye to them already! They also kept making strange pointed remarks about items in our home like 'oh thats nice' 'you know I really like those things too'. In the end my mum 'called' with an emergency and we had to go. Only then did they leave.

AIBU or is this taking the fucking biscuit Confused

OP posts:
Subtlecheese · 25/09/2017 10:15

It sounds bizarre

Userlavender · 25/09/2017 10:16

They are weirdos but you are even more weird for letting them stay. Are you an adult? You had to get your mum call with an emergency? Next time say 'thanks for callinf we we are off out in a minute / expecting visitors / have things to do - i have your coats ready for you. Thank you'. I don't know anyone in real life who would rely on their dp to be 'the mean one' or sit with people in their house for 3 hours who they don't want there. People on mn enable all the freaks.

Travis1 · 25/09/2017 10:17

Shock In the name of god how did you not just tell them to GTF? They aren't your freinds and I wouldn't want them to be if this is how they behave.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 25/09/2017 10:17

WTF? Why let it happen?

Travis1 · 25/09/2017 10:17

*friends stupid typo and not being able to edit Angry

nodogsinthebedroom · 25/09/2017 10:18

Less cheeky - more just plain odd Confused

And (sorry to be preachy but) get your cat spayed! Smile

CatsOclock · 25/09/2017 10:21

Bizarre. I think I would have a had a prior engagement after about half an hour.

KimmySchmidt1 · 25/09/2017 10:22

yes, get your cat spayed.

noyoucanthavemycat · 25/09/2017 10:23

Sorry I am not the best in social situations, anxiety and the like. In the moment I really didn't know what to do, I was put totally on the backfoot and was completely overwhelmed Blush obviously I know I didn't handle it well, but it's not really my behaviour I am asking AIBU about.

@Userlavender Jeezo calm down, we aren't all perfect Hmm

OP posts:
noyoucanthavemycat · 25/09/2017 10:24

Also yes, cats are about to be booked in to be spayed!

OP posts:
Userlavender · 25/09/2017 10:25

@noyoucan't i know but this is weird and every single poster on mn has anxiety issues. It's a bit much - if you don't want people in your house ask them to leave. And if you can't don't bitch about a delicate husband who couldn't ask them to leave either. Always the same.

HarrietKettleWasHere · 25/09/2017 10:25

Did tog name change, OP?Confused

HarrietKettleWasHere · 25/09/2017 10:25

*you obviously.

guilty100 · 25/09/2017 10:30

It sounds like they are socially lead-footed and didn't realise they weren't welcome. But the second part of that sentence is partly your bad too. You can move to get someone to leave your space without actually saying so, using your tone of voice and body language. Being assertive about boundaries is partly your responsibility!

noyoucanthavemycat · 25/09/2017 10:30

yes did namechange, oops Blush have reported my comment.

@Userlavender I wasn't bitching that OH didn't ask them to leave, he did ask them to go several times and they seemed to take no notice Confused

Also the anxiety isn't an excuse, I don't mean to drip feed but we just lost a full term baby so my mental state isn't the most stable right now. Normally I can handle my anxiety quite well.

OP posts:
HarrietKettleWasHere · 25/09/2017 10:33

Was the teenager really happy to be dragged around some random person's house to talk about cats and watch their telly?

I'd have been fuming as a teenager for that!

Yellowheart · 25/09/2017 10:34

Why isn't your cat spayed?

caffelatte100 · 25/09/2017 10:35

I think you need to ask your partner to support you more and to help establish boundaries for himself and to help you to as well. Sorry about your loss. These people sound really bizarre.

Userlavender · 25/09/2017 10:35

@harriet - same. My kids would have kicked them out before me to be honest.

Nuttynoo · 25/09/2017 10:35

Strongly suggest you have a stern word to your OH. This was his fault. It’s not possible to make ‘friends’ in one meeting as an adult and he needs to stop risking his family by inviting strangers.

Idontevencareanymore · 25/09/2017 10:37

Op this sounds utterly bizarre!

I think lesson learned for next time they arrange to stay in your house and steak your cat, you've got plans that can't be cancelled. And don't let them in.

AWaspOnAWindowInAHeatwave · 25/09/2017 10:45

Flowerssorry for your loss, OP.

noyoucanthavemycat · 25/09/2017 10:45

Cats hadn't been spayed yet as they're 2 male indoor cats and ashamed to say money has been a bit tight.

Teenager did seem bored to death though but didn't seem to find it weird, I guess they do this often?! Confused

Will definitely be having words with OH. If he lets them in again I'll have to find the lady balls to kick them out myself! He is definitely a bit naive when it comes to people. He is a people of the world kind of person and sadly is often taken advantage of. He is working on it though Smile

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 25/09/2017 10:46

Why isn't your cat spayed?

Presumably the time wasn't right till now?

guilty100 · 25/09/2017 10:48

I'm so, so sorry to hear about your recent and devastating loss. I can totally see why having people intrude into your personal space would affect you badly right now. Sorry for suggesting that you just needed to hoik your big girl pants up! It isn't that easy when you're reeling from huge life events.

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