Should I send DM birthday card from her DH who passed away?

[Bippitybopityboo]

My mum and her partner were together 20 years. He was told he was terminally ill at the start of the summer and passed away last month.
In his last few months they got married, it was something the always wanted to do but in the end time made the decision for them and it was lovely. Before he passed away my mum told us she hopes he makes it to her birthday so she can have just one 'wife' card. He didn't and her birthday is tomorrow.
At his funeral a close friend of my mum's said to me you have to get her a wife card from him it's so important.
I have got the card but now I'm torn as to weather to send it. I it was me I wouldn't like someone to do that it's a lovely thought but it's not from that person so seems a little strange however I feel awful that someone has said I should do it for her and now I'm not going to. What do you think? it's such a hard situation. I just don't think it's what you do

She loved her flowers. Won't mention today that I was thinking of sending it she's doing really well. Thankyou to the lovely posters

That's good you sent some flowers, that's a lovely gesture. When my ex dp passed away earlier this year one of the things that I wished he'd done was leave some cards or letters for my ds. I have seen people leaving memory boxes etc when they know they are dying but I think he just couldn't face it, understandably so

spartasprout you can't really say, "it's a great help to bereaved people". Bereaved people aren't one entity who all like the same thing. I think the cushions are lovely but there will be some people who wouldn't want to receive one.

OP, I think you made a very good call and that the person who said you "have to do this" was off the mark, with good intentions. It sounds as though your own approach of sending the flowers was much more sensitive and helpful.

My mum passed away quite suddenly right before a milestone wedding anniversary for her and my dad.

I got a neutral but pretty card, and wrote in it, from me, about how unfair it was that they couldn't celebrate together but how the love in their relationship impacted on me and that I would always be there to support him in whatever way he needed.

I could never have got him an 'anniversary' card but he really cherished the gesture and there were tears but also a sense of celebration of the love they had, and I was glad I did it.

I have a couple of older widowed relatives I send flowers/a card to on their wedding anniversary and on their husband’s birthday. They really appreciate it as it’s a sad day for them and not one that people tend to remember. I don’t make a big thing of the date, just say ‘thinking of you’ or something like that.

FlakeBook ok SOME bereaved people will be very happy to receive something that they can hug and remember their loved ones. In my experience 100% of my customers have felt that way.

You could also say SOME people won't want to receive a memory cushion but the majority will.

Whitecurrants - That's so thoughtful, and definitely something I will bear in mind in the future.

My DH’s grandma gets very cross that we nobody sends her wedding anniversary cards even though her husband died nearly thirty years ago. Each to their own I suppose.