To be irked at the waste of water?

[LazySusan11]

Teen dsd (this is not a step child issue!) she likes a bath often however each time she fills the bath up until it’s almost overflowing gets in for less than 15 minutes then pulls the plug and uses the shower to wash her hair.

This really pisses me off! I can tell her til I’m blue in the face she doesn’t listen.

AIBU? Please say no!

Honestly I don’t think 15 minute bath is not too bad. Most people take a shower for about 15 minutes. But running the water for 15 minute for a tub, then run a shower for maybe another 10 minutes is a total of 25 minutes (my son take a 45 minutes shower!) and depending on the shower head, let’s just hope it is an low gallon per minute eco shower head.

I grew up in the rural where you can only get well water, and our well water dried out or something. my mom did have two teens and two little ones at the time so I wouldn’t be surprised we were the cause. And to get a well replacement was $$$$$ so we did not have running water for a long time. Water is expensive or laboring

We are on a water meter (not through choice) and I agree it's so expensive. We all have to be careful now.
DSS used to take a half hour shower in the morning then a full to the brim bath at night. He wasn't working or even particularly active so not really needed. I asked him to please pick 1 or the other.

I totally agree with you OP.

Wasting water drives me crazy too.

You are unreasonable however to fetch and carry stuff for her whilst she's in the bath! Tell her to get organised.

Dsd is generally a very excessive person Water is just the tip of the iceberg!

Clearly a stepchild issue. I've never heard someone talk this way about their biological child without a large dose of humour or other positive stuff thrown in. And I've never heard someone complain so vociferously about a minor thing their biological child has done.

Perhaps it would be easier to talk to her about the bath thing if you acknowledge, at least to yourself, that at least part of your resentment is rooted in the fact that she's not your kid.

Ds has at least 2 showers a day usually 3 and he's ages in there. I leave him to it,there are worse things he could be doing tbh!

Why does she do it? Stress relief, cleanliness, habit, routine, because she likes it.

Get her to set a timer so the bath isn't too full and then leave her alone.

And I agree with others. It probably is, at least in part, a step-issue.

I hate waste and it is NOT about the money, in my case. I am surprised how many people don't give a shit. Actually, I am not surprised-- that is the society we are living in .

My children have had this message drilled into them endlessly since day 1, and they have taken it on board, understand the issues, and are careful in many ways about the consequences of their actions.

I think the only way you are going to have an impact on your step-daughter is if she starts to understand why these things are important. Get her to think about the impact of waste like this on the planet, and get her to look at what it is like to live in country without safe water, or a country with a drought going on. Saving water is not the most important issue in England at the moment, but it is all part of a way of thinking which I think 14 year-olds are often very sympathetic and open to, especially when they can see how their parents' generation are messing up right, left, and centre.

You say that you don't want to sound like an "eco-warrior" OP; my question is: "Why not?"

I agree it is wasteful and that the environmental argument is the way to go. There is also the environmental cost of clean water being delivered to your home to be factored in.
We have had a one bath a week rule and showers on other days for environmental reasons. Additionally there isn't enough hot water in the tank (which heats overnight) for all of us to have a hot bath everyday. The DC got used to the idea before they were teens.

But the teenager doesn't have to share the ethical stance of her stepmother. Realistically water use isn't the most burning environmental issue in the U.K. So why should the stepdaughter feel it is? I was a right eco-warrior in my youth and I still didn't think water use was the thing to focus on. Maybe in Kenya, but not in the U.K.

That would boil my
Piss too

Waste of water and energy

Yanbu to be annoyed !!!

Just tell her to only fill the bath to the level she needs, that is quite reasonable. Also she could rinse her hair with fresh water from the bath mixer tap - that's what I do as a final rinse to get conditioner off, and I have long hair. Whether that uses any less water than showering it off I don't know, probably a bit less, but it is certainly easier.

Using a cup, I meant to say. I don't stick my head under the tap.

How much do her baths cost you? If you can’t answer that basic question then you can’t tell her to stop as you don’t have evidence.

When I was a child we didn't have a shower. I was allowed one bath a week - shared with my sister. My parents kicked up a right fuss when in my teens, I asked to increase it to two. Personally, I would let it go.

Is your metre etc working right? I get in the bath and continuously empty and refill with hot and our bills were never that bad. I would say I was an excessive water user but it wasn't ever actually costing us very much at all. Could it be dishwasher or washing machine related that your bills are high? I honestly never found my bathing impacted it. We are not on a metre in new house and I am tempted to ask for one.

YANBU OP!

Pick your battles and all that, but this is totally one battle I'd pick were it my own dd. Just like converseandjeans my upbringing was heavily influenced by wartime thriftiness and being wasteful was just about the most selfish thing we could do. I've also toned it down compared with my childhood, but with the added environmental pressures that we all should be considering this would be a life lesson I would be determined to set my child up with. It's bloody important, not least to learn from a budgeting point of view!

You won't get much sympathy here though OP. This is the land of multiple showers a day and washing sheets, towels and PJs after every single use as if it were a birth right.

OP you should have typed DD not DSD. A lot of the answers would have been very different. Many people don't think beyond the end of their noses so water or any other waste won't figure much in her thoughts unless it directly impacts on her.

I have a water meter and we have a full bath and a shower between us a day. My water bill is £28 a month so not really that expensive!

Get her to look at her science book. She only needs to fill it to a certain level and when she gets in it will go up!

Alrernatively she likes the luxury of getting completely under the water to feel warm and luxuriate.

Washing her hair separately is sensible as the bath water will be dirty after washing her body.

As a mum of boys I can't get worked up about a teenager who is washing whether a child or step child!

I have a water meter and we have a full bath and a shower between us a day. My water bill is £28 a month so not really that expensive! Depends where you live and your water supplier. My bill is more like £50 a month but was much, much cheaper where we used to live.

Depends where you live and your water supplier. My bill is more like £50 a month but was much, much cheaper where we used to live.

Large city in south west that is notorious for being expensive outside of London.

We're on a meter and I like a bath, and I like to rinse my hair with a shower - I have oils in the bath that I need to rinse out. I also then give the bath a really good rinse down with the shower so it's not slippery when the next person uses it.
As water isn't a sparse resource in Yorkshire I've never really seen it as wasteful as my baths are my time away from my children and job and other things that give me a head ache. My water bills aren't high, no higher than when we were just the 2 of us in a little flat not on a meter.
I think this is more about her being "an excessive person" than the baths to be honest. And baths are lovely, don't take them away from her.

I'm assuming the shower is over the bath. Tell her this:

Washing and rinsing your hair first (while keeping the plug in) is really good for your hair. The steam from the bath keeps it wet longer and that makes it healthy and shiny. The effect is even better because bathing in the shampoo run-off keeps your skin soft too. It's a win-win.

It's also total shite but it's worth a shot if you think she'll believe you.

My son is excessive person himself. 45 minutes showers 2x a day....meaning more laundry to wash because he has to put on clean clothes but I did tell him he has to sleep in whatever he wore after his last shower (he used to change clothes 3 or 4 times a day). He goes through dishes because there are dirty dishes everywhere in his room so he can’t remember which is clean so he gets another clean cup. He is 16 and will be 17 soon.

All this water: dishes/laundry/showers adds up and I keep telling him he need to save water because we have other bills to pay, medications to pay, food to pay, and we need to save up money for college.