To be irked at the waste of water?

[LazySusan11]

Teen dsd (this is not a step child issue!) she likes a bath often however each time she fills the bath up until it’s almost overflowing gets in for less than 15 minutes then pulls the plug and uses the shower to wash her hair.

This really pisses me off! I can tell her til I’m blue in the face she doesn’t listen.

AIBU? Please say no!

Well my teen has an aversion to washing.

I'd happily swap with you!

We aren't on a water meter but i would be really fucked off to be told baths are too expensive

When you're on a water meter, daily deep baths are.

Sometimes in our house there are 3 full baths a night plus a shower or 2 in the morning. I wouldn't dream of telling someone they couldn't have a bath.

I did some calculations. A deep bath is about 150 litres. I found a site that said 5litres cost 1p on their meter. That's 30p a bath. £2.10 a week. Surely that's ok?

If she's overflowing the bath constantly it won't be doing the bathroom floor any good either.
Never mind saying poor Dsd, it's not being mean to tell a teenager to turn the taps off before the water hits the bath rim!

If my parents had told me to not have a full bath every night because it was costing too much then I would have done what they asked - it was their house and their bills.
It's not unreasonable to have a few ground rules. It is wasteful to have a full bath every night (to the point that it is overflowing) As a family growing up we were always taught not to be wasteful - I guess parents were war time children who didn't have things like central heating a constant hot water flowing. I am much less strict with my kids on things like heating/lights being left on. But I wouldn't be too happy with this situation either. We pay something silly like £45 a month water - I always shower, kids share bathwater every other day and DH has probably one bath a week. So your bills must be high.

It can't cost a fortune. Let her enjoy it

What do you actually say to her?

'I wish you wouldn't run the bath so deep' - in one ear out the other.

'It is too wasteful to have a full bath every night. You can shower every day obviously, but please no more than x baths pw'

As you clearly feel so stressed about it.

Frankly, a teenager that willingly baths/showers daily can just get on with it as far as I'm concerned. And yes, we are on a meter.

It would annoy me too OP. I agree with those saying pick your battles though - as teenage rebellion goes it could be so much worse.

There was another thread earlier today about being grateful for what you have. Reading this thread is quite thought provoking in that context. So many people saying this is normal/ok when there are people in the world without even access to clean drinking water.

Bubblebubble It can cost a fortune - even if the water "only" costs a couple of quid a week, it's also eating into the cost of electricity/gas to heat it (and if the OP's DSD is anything like my DD, there will be a lot of water wasted as she turns the hot tap on full blast to let the water heat up then uses that time to nip and get towels/fresh PJs etc and gets distracted for a couple of minutes, so by the time she's back in the bathroom the water is hot but a huge amount of said hot water has gone straight down the plughole. So I've paid for the water to be heated and immediately poured away ... even if it is only pennies that's wasted money)

Then there's "topping up" - my sister used to run the bath with hot water and a little bit of cold so that it was bearable to sit in. When it was about half full she would get in and then fill it up with hot water as the small amount of cooler water stopped her scalding herself as she got used to the temperature slowly increasing. As the bath got full she would pull the plug to drain out the cooler water to get a full bath of hot water.

It all adds up both cost wise and water volume wise. Neither should be wasted.

I don’t say anything now I leave dh to explain that there really is no need to fill the bath as though she’s going for an olympic medal.

I really don’t begrudge her a bath a shower whatever she chooses it’s the waste that irks me. Dsd is generally a very excessive person Water is just the tip of the iceberg!

Without wanting to sound all eco warrior I feel we are lucky to have safe clean running water. I just don’t see the need to have such epic baths then a 10 minute shower wasting a crapload of water! If iabu then I stand corrected and will keep my irritation to myself

I don't have teens yet so have no idea what you are dealing with but this would piss me off. I hate waste.

I'd try talking to her in a non Blamey way, maybe try to do a challenge where for one day you all try to live on the amount of water you'd get if you lived somewhere where there isn't access to running water... Might put it into perspective

It’s exactly like that Melj, runs almost a full bath of hot water then overfills it with cold pulls plug lets out the water adds more hot, gets in the bath and starts the process again. I know all this because our lounge is directly under the bathroom. There’s just no need for it.

! I can tell her til I’m blue in the face she doesn’t listen

I don’t say anything now I leave dh to explain that there really is no need to fill the bath as though she’s going for an olympic medal

Which is it? Are you talking to her or just ranting, being sarcastic & hoping she'll stop doing it?

How old is she? Big difference between 13 & 19.

As far as I see it, you have the decide if it's that much for a big deal. If it is, then tell her clearly that she's not allowed to do it. She can shower daily & have x baths per week.

But you need to act like the home owning adult here. Accept it with good grace OR tell her she's not allowed to do it.

I don't understand why the 15 mins irritates you ? Would it be better if she spent and hour in there?

Personally I don't think it's a waste when she uses it. Would be different if she ran the bath and then didn't get in. You don't want to wash your hair in water you've washed in and shaved your legs in so I can understand a quick blast with the shower.

I’m talking to her, I don’t rant at her ranting at anyone never works. She’s 14, I have asked her many times I now leave dh to explain but it falls on deaf ears.

I think I’ve answered my own question, I don’t feel iabu, in hindsight there was no point in me posting! Sorry all

Having grown up during a drought, then yes, she's being incredibly unreasonable. Water is a precious resource and doesn't need to be wasted on a five minute bath and ten minute shower for one person every night.

agree with PPs saying pick your battles

my stepdad used to turn the electricity off to the bathroom if i was ever in the (electric) shower longer than 10 minutes the fucking twat

I'm pretty gobsmacked that your 14yo stepdaughter summons you into the bathroom to pick something up that she's dropped. Tell her to get it herself!
My three (teenage) daughters would rather die than let me in the bathroom!

I fully understand where you're coming from. A full bath, then a ten minute shower is ridiculous. We live rurally and our water supply is only from rain water collected from the house & shed roof and stored in tanks. Water is definitely a precious commodity in our house, especially during dry periods/droughts.

I do think the shower/bath obsession is a classic teenage thing. It's as though they go into a trance in the shower. How often does your DSD stay over, if she's only doing it once a week, then would that be okay? Perhaps she doesn't have a bath at her mum's house?

Our DD (16yr) has what I think are long showers (sometimes 2x day) & it drives us nuts hearing all the water being wasted. Sometimes I'm tempted to start washing up in the kitchen as that diverts the hot from the bathroom giving her a cold blast!

I actually think a timer in the bathroom might be the way to go for us as we seem to be heading into a dry period here. Not sure what the solution for baths is though. Perhaps limiting a bath to once a week, or having a sticker half way up the bath to show her the upper limit for water?

Without wanting to sound all eco warrior I feel we are lucky to have safe clean running water. I just don’t see the need to have such epic baths then a 10 minute shower wasting a crapload of water
Water is a natural resource we are most definitely not short of in the UK, especially after the 'summer' we have just had.I woul;d have thought the cost of heating it was more of an issue, but even so to begrudge the poor kid a bath, WTF?

(this is not a step child issue!)
I think it is!

There is nothing wrong with washing your hair in the bath. If you prefer to wash it in the shower then have a shower!
She should choose bath OR shower and she should be filling the bath less full.

It would drive me batty. What a massive waste of resources.

How many people here are saying it's Ok Vs against have water meters?
If you have a water meter baths in general are not ok,leaving the tap running while brushing your teeth is out and running taps until the hot water reaches the tap is an issue.Teenagers having 10 min showers daily is the best it gets here.