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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To put the entire text history online

64 replies

Katyjane12 · 24/09/2017 12:26

Hi MN, I have had an insane two days. The guy I have been seeing on and off for two years has been lying to me the entire time. He has a girlfriend (of three years!) which I discovered yesterday by doing some cyber supersleuthing. I found her Facebook page and photos of them together - then her email address - they are both actors. I emailed her and asked if he was her girlfriend - she wrote back and said yes and asked who I was. I told her I had met him online two years ago - she thought i might have the wrong guy so I sent her screenshots of a couple of texts and one has a nude photo of him. She asked me to call her and I did - we spoke for 45 minutes - it was upsetting for the both of us but I was as honest as I could be. I sent her some more texts and said to contact if she needed anything else or to ask me anything. He since blocked me on whatsapp but I have 7 months of texts from him. He called this morning and I recorded the call - he said he would be honest with me if we would just have phone sex as he needed to get his head straight - no joke. I sent the recording of the call to her - it has him saying he doesn't want to be with her and wanking to climax. She has written back to me saying it's not him, that it's a bad accent. He's completely screwed with my head - I knew there was something very wrong but this is beyond. I don't know what to do - just leave them to it? I feel that he may be insane.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 24/09/2017 15:09

Crikey. What are you doing sending recordings and naked photos? Step away from the drama. Block block block. And what are you doing speaking to the housemate?

TheCatsMother99 · 24/09/2017 15:15

It'll be interesting to hear what the flatmate has to say but essentially you should walk away, especially as it sounds like his girlfriend is choosing to stay with him.

Lovemusic33 · 24/09/2017 15:16

Walk away and forget him. My ex did similar too me though I was the one he was in a long term relationship with whilst he was trying to get with several other women. I was angry and upset when I found out and I stupidly posted screen shots from his phone on his Fb page (including a nude shot). It was stupid and I took it off quite quickly, it was on there enough for a few people to see. I didn't message the other woman, I didn't really care what she did or didn't know, wasn't my problem and neither was he anymore.

Gemini69 · 24/09/2017 15:20

Store the texts on your own device... it might not but keep it for a 'rainy day' when this potentially comes back to bite you on the ass...

Do not waste another second on this Dirtbag... 2 years of a long bloody time to take the piss out of someone... Move on Lady Flowers

zippydoodaar · 24/09/2017 15:26

Block both of them and walk away. You've had a lucky escape!

lollipop7 · 24/09/2017 15:39

What @ChelleDawg2020 says.
You need to walk away. You also need to be careful.

Just refrain safe in the knowledge he is resolutely not worth it and she will only not believe and pity you.

Lozmatoz · 24/09/2017 15:40

Don't do it, you will massively regret it. Walk away, leave them to it, feel sorry for him as he is an utter wally. You are not, you will meet someone much more decent and laugh at his ridiculousness one day.

rainbowduck · 24/09/2017 15:49

Do not engage further...

Fluffypinkpyjamas · 24/09/2017 16:05

OP is definitely going to speak to the housemate

Agreed hopefullyanon I don't think she will able to resist stirring

Katyjane12 · 24/09/2017 16:15

Yes I did speak to the flatmate - we both think there is a third woman that he is possibly living with. The girlfriend had never been to his home and neither have I - and he's never seen either of us in the evenings - he doesn't stay over at his girlfriends place or mine. It was good to talk to someone who knows him and the situation - none of my friends have met him so is very removed for them and of course logically obvious to just back away and not give it a second thought. That's it now - I hope that's the end of it.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 24/09/2017 16:48

Ok well that sounds good. Stay single for a while perhaps? Find someone, who truly values you.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 24/09/2017 16:49

No you don't. You want this to run and run and for somebody, anybody to keep validating the relationship you think you had/have and you'll keep talking to anybody who'll listen.

Not classy at all, just attention-seeking drama. I did feel a bit sorry for you but not anymore, sorry. You're so invested because you're the OW and can't bear not to be 'in this', in however minor a role.

strangestdirection · 24/09/2017 16:54

Sadly some people choose to stay with cheating bellends. Just been glad you're not the one left with this muppet. Delete, block, move on.

Katyjane12 · 24/09/2017 17:12

Thanks all for your input - I am sure I am addicted to the drama - I am in therapy to help understand how I am in relationships and I hope this will help me at some point (really soon!). I would be giving the same advice you all are and yet I feel completely enmeshed - I hope sanity will prevail after a good nights sleep.

OP posts:
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