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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not send 7 year old daughter on a 5 day school trip?

57 replies

TrustingTrudie · 21/09/2017 20:12

Daughter will have turned 7 a few days before the school have decided ( new heard teacher ) that year 3 will now do a week long residential along with the standard year 6 one
We have to pay by the end of December and takes place in April
She doesn't want to go as she's only stayed overnight away at grandparents and still missed us a lot even doing that and had to sleep with nanny in the end
I think it's ridiculous to do this so young
Load of waffle about them working on the trip up to the time they go in school which I think is massively unfair

OP posts:
CycleHire · 21/09/2017 20:51

I think Y3 is pretty young for that kind of trip. I'm generally a pretty relaxed parent but I'd worry that our son would get homesick. He is also still in nappies at night (we haven't made any serious efforts to tackle this hoping he'll just grow out if it) so I'd worry he'd feel embarrassed.

Mrsmadevans · 21/09/2017 20:52

She is too young it is ridiculous . yadnbu my dear

Mrsmadevans · 21/09/2017 20:55

Cycle didn't want to cut and run but just wanted to applaud you for your behaviour toward your DS , my dd was the same we waited till she was 7 then got a referral to the Paed continence nurse, two weeks on the alarm and she was sorted. I am sure your DS will be exactly the same , Good Luck!

EvilDoctorBallerinaDuckKeidis · 21/09/2017 20:59

DD 10 went on a 5 day residential trip in July when she was still 9. She thinks 7 is too young. She said bits of it were hard.

CycleHire · 21/09/2017 21:00

Mrsmadevans: thank you - it's very encouraging to read that.

bangingmyheadoffabrickwall · 21/09/2017 21:01

If this was my child, I would be fine about him going. I think it depends on the child TBH. Some children are confident at 8 to go on a 5 day residential. It's like a holiday with your mates!

Obviously you get some children who become homesick even in Y6 and more-so in Y3 but really, if you're that bothered, don't send her. It's not compulsory and obviously in your DD's school it has been welcomed by many parents.

YANBU for being anxious and wanting her to bow out of this trip. But YABU for wanting a Y3 residential to not happen when others are okay with it just because of your opinions.

Just tell the school that your DD won't be going.

Original poster
TrustingTrudie · 21/09/2017 21:02

We've already had a meeting about it this evening and every other parent signed up then and there! Tiny school so only 30 children ( if full ) per year and every single one was there and signed up

OP posts:
BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 21/09/2017 21:02

My DCs Primary did 3 nights away in year 3 and 4 nights in year 6.

Neither of ours had been away from us for even one night by year 3 and DS was reluctant but I pointed out that if he didn't go he would still be in school and would be put with year 2. He opted to be with the children he knew rather than the ones he didn't and he LOVED it! It's a learning experience that I wish I'd had (my first overnight school trip was fifth form or year 11 these days).

bringonyourwreckingball · 21/09/2017 21:07

5 nights at that age is ludicrous and I say that as a parent of children who have always been fairly chilled about spending nights away from home. Our school do 1 night in y3, 2 in y4, 4 in y5 and a week in y6. Works great, most kids cope fine. To expect small children to spend that much time away from parents in a strange environment seems nuts to me. My kids have spent a lot of time away from us with friends, grandparents etc and they are not snowflakes about this at all but even they would struggle with an extended period at that age without a familiar adult

madameratatouille · 21/09/2017 21:12

This isn't France by any chance is it? I can't believe the lunacy is spreading to the UK.

PinkSnowAndStars · 21/09/2017 21:15

I went on a 5 day one in years 3.4.5 and 6! Remember all of them so fondly!

Year 3 we went to Plas Nantglyn in north wales... year 4 we went to mill on the brue... year 5 we went to the Lake District... and year 6 we went to the Isle of Wight... those were the days!

SheRasBra · 21/09/2017 21:17

Ours DS did 3 days/2 nights in Year 4, 4 days 3 nights in Year 5 and the obligatory 5 night French trip in Year 6. He dreaded them all, felt very homesick but we made him go because we understood what the school were trying to achieve with the gradual approach. He had a great time on each trip. A whole week in Year 3 sounds a lot.

VerbenaGirl · 21/09/2017 21:19

Sounds a bit much to me. You know your child best, and I'd say go with your instinct. My DD did a 2 night residential in Y4 and hated it, so we decided against the 4 night trip in Y6. School huffed a bit, and put her with the year below for the week. And she's not even interested now she's in Y9, but she's doing fine for it.

Autumnskiesarelovely · 21/09/2017 21:20

Wow no, 7 is really young I think.

MrsSchadenfreude · 21/09/2017 21:20

Mine did Monday-Friday in Year 3 - this was quite a few years ago as they are now 16 and 18! They loved it, and the whole class went. It was somewhere reasonably local, about 40 minutes on the coach, so far enough to be "away" but near enough to go and get them if there were any problems. I don't recall there being any problems though.

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 21/09/2017 21:22

My dd did this at 7and8,as she went to a small school so these were opened to both years.My dd had done sleepovers and was confident that if Harry was there(teddy bear)at night then she would be OK.
Not everyone's child went,parents are a good judge.
If you feel she's not ready then just say no,not this year.You know your child best.
I found it hard, it's the realisation that they will not always need you and that she had do woven into my life that there was a hole.
She had a great time.Wait until you child will go and have a good time too.Dont be pressured to go with the crowd if the time for you is not now.
I think

TriGirl007 · 21/09/2017 21:25

Too young I think, no way would I say yes. My 10yr old would really struggle with that, they only have a 2n, 3D trip in year6 at school.

Yogagirl123 · 21/09/2017 21:26

Way to young in my opinion, my DS' are older but I don't think they would be ready to be away from home for 5 days either! I wouldn't care what other parents choose to be honest, you know your child.

maras2 · 21/09/2017 21:35

I've never heard such nonsense, Shock
Sounds positively Dickension.
DGS is that age and I wouldn't expect him to stay for that long at my house,even though he has stayed here overnight many times.

fleshmarketclose · 21/09/2017 21:38

Dd went on a three day/two night residential in y3 and again in y4. Then she did a five day/four night in y5 and again in y6. I'd say she was happier on the residentials in y4 and y6 most likely because she was more mature then. I probably wouldn't have sent her on a five day residential in y3 or y4 tbh as it is a long time.

ohnowhatcanido · 21/09/2017 21:39

I've taken year 3 on residential before. 2/3 nights absolute maximum. Less than an hour from home (important in my eyes).

In a large year group, approx 10% didn't go and there was no real pressure to do so. I really doubt she'd be the only one and if she is, I honestly wouldn't worry about it.

FinallyDecidedOnUserName · 21/09/2017 21:43

Too young - I bet the school don't do it next year!!

Dont send him. I expect many other parents will feel the same.

YetAnotherNC2017 · 21/09/2017 21:46

Bugger that.

DD struggled with a 2 night residential in y6!

helpfulperson · 21/09/2017 21:57

Are you in the UK? This type/length of trip is much more common in some other European Countries.

yorkshireyummymummy · 21/09/2017 21:57

I think that's far too long and the children are far too young.
I wouldn't have entertained the thought of DD going away in year 3 even for one night. I'm amazed that the school are doing it frankly as I wouldn't have thought there would be many kids who would want to go.

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