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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to not send 7 year old daughter on a 5 day school trip?

57 replies

TrustingTrudie · 21/09/2017 20:12

Daughter will have turned 7 a few days before the school have decided ( new heard teacher ) that year 3 will now do a week long residential along with the standard year 6 one
We have to pay by the end of December and takes place in April
She doesn't want to go as she's only stayed overnight away at grandparents and still missed us a lot even doing that and had to sleep with nanny in the end
I think it's ridiculous to do this so young
Load of waffle about them working on the trip up to the time they go in school which I think is massively unfair

OP posts:
slinkymolinki · 21/09/2017 20:15

YANBU!
Year 3 is far too young! Our school decided that year 3 was too young for even one night away and so changed their annual residential to extended day out which finished at 7pm.

The year 4 and 5s only stay away for 3 days and year 6 go to France for 5 nights.

What do the other parents think! Xx

Hulababy · 21/09/2017 20:16

If she doesn't want to go - then don't send her. Just decline and nearer the time found out what the provisions are for any children not going.

School should not base an entire topic on the trip really, as Im sure more than a couple won't go. And any class work shouldn't be dependent on having gone/going. But I can imagine them maybe having some lose references to the area, activities types, etc.

However, you can't expect school to not mention it at all in classes before or after. Some children will relish the idea and be wanted to go.

DD did a 3 night residential in Y3 and loved it.

sadiemm2 · 21/09/2017 20:17

I'm not 5 days is appropriate at 7. Our Year 3 do an overnight stay. 5 days is tough on some Year children. I wouldn't have sent mine. Don't think you're being Unreasonable. X

Jenniferturkington · 21/09/2017 20:18

No way! I can't believe there are teachers willing to take year three kids away for a week. They are too young. 2 nights yes, a week no way.

SuburbanRhonda · 21/09/2017 20:18

If you don't want to send her, don't.

andbabymakesthree · 21/09/2017 20:18

Too long YANBU.

One night / two days at that age

stella23 · 21/09/2017 20:19

No that's much to long, mine wouldn't go

Hulababy · 21/09/2017 20:20

DD's primary - very small, close knit school group - had a 3 night residential in both Y3 and Y4, she had a 3 night trip to France in Y5 and a 4 night activity residential in Y6.

DeathMetalMum · 21/09/2017 20:22

YANBU

Dd will go on a one night residential this year in year two. I'm just about OK with that added that it's only 45 minutes drive away.

My friends do go to a school that takes the children on residential visits from reception! Shock

AJPTaylor · 21/09/2017 20:24

Yanbu.
My dd did brownie camp at 7. That was drop off at 6 on a friday, pick up at lunch on sunday. That was plenty. She went to her aunts for a week and was really homesick

Holidayhooray · 21/09/2017 20:25

Not a chance I would send my 7 year old on this.

I get anxious about a day trip to Lego land with beavers!

pinkhorse · 21/09/2017 20:27

No way! My ds wouldn't go and I wouldn't want him to

SellFridges · 21/09/2017 20:27

Five nights? Are they going over a weekend?

And won't your daughter be turning 8 if she's in Y3?

I do think 5 nights is long for that age but I would think many 8 year olds can handle 2/3.

Original poster
TrustingTrudie · 21/09/2017 20:36

Sorry I meant will have just turned 8 a few days before the trip.
Not 5 nights - 5 days as they head off at 8.30am Monday and come back at 6pm Friday.
It's a 3 hour drive so that's also a concern in case something happened or she became really upset at night time, she would have a long wait for me to get there.
All the other parents seem fine with it and said I should be encouraging her to go!

OP posts:
Original poster
TrustingTrudie · 21/09/2017 20:37

It's really odd as they do this in year 3 and then nothing again until year 6!

OP posts:
Playdoughcaterpillar · 21/09/2017 20:40

It would be too long for me and my DD too, even now she's year 4 and rising 9. And she's pretty mature and self sufficient for her age.

MyPatronusIsAUnicorn · 21/09/2017 20:43

No, I wouldn't be sending my child at this age, far too young.

Glumglowworm · 21/09/2017 20:45

I'm all for kids going on trips like this but 5 days at 7 years old is too much.

I've taken 7 year old Brownies away for weekends and they've been fine, but I'm very aware that lots of 7 year olds wouldn't be happy going away for a weekend. Hell I've had 9 and 10 year olds go home early from weekends away because they're miserably homesick. I've also known 11 and 12 year old Guides who aren't happy staying away from their family. So totally normal that a 7 year old isn't ready to do a 5 day trip away!

Independence has to be built up gradually, and yes school/cubs/brownies trips are an imo important part of that, but it starts with sleepovers or weekends, then when they're older and more used to going away build up to longer stretches. It's something a lot of kids get nervous about and need encouraging to stick it out, but not something they should be forced into at any age.

Mamabear4180 · 21/09/2017 20:47

I think a night would be potentially ok but 5 nights a bit much

Alpacaandgo · 21/09/2017 20:48

It depends on the child really. If she doesn't want to go don't send her. im sure there will be provision at school for anyone not going.

welshweasel · 21/09/2017 20:48

Totally depends on the child. I'd have been fine (and was actually at boarding school at 8 and loved it) but others might not be ready. It's not compulsory, if she wants to go then send her. If not, don't. She won't be the only one not going.

Rosieposy4 · 21/09/2017 20:49

Way too long imo, none of mine did anything overnight without us in y3 apart from one night with cubs, working up to 2 nights with cubs.

SandyDenny · 21/09/2017 20:49

I'm sure you won't be the only one not sending their child, I wouldn't worry too much.

HumphreyCobblers · 21/09/2017 20:49

The school my children are at does a one night stay 'camping' in the school hall in year 3, moving to two nights away in the local area in Y4, three nights in y5 and four nights further away in Y6. Seems a better plan than springing three nights on them in year 3.

Knittedfairy · 21/09/2017 20:50

I'd be interested to know what the teacher's take on this is! Four nights with Y3.. I would ask school for a programme of the activities to be undertaken on the trip and how they fit in to the curriculum. I wouldn't be at all surprised if wiser heads prevail and the residential visit is shortened... or maybe even shelved. I cannot believe you're the only one with concerns either.

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