I need to have a rant about the cost of my childcare

[MGFM]

£2200 a freaking month!

This isn't a stealth boast about having enough money to pay out this much in childcare and I also want to say I feel lucky that I used to have plenty of disposable income and I feel lucky to have two wonderful children and I don't think the state should help me pay for their care (although I most certainly have signed up to the tax free child care) but oh my fucking god , I want to cry every time I think about it!

We will have enough left over for food and fuel and clothes when desperately needed and the odd treat but it is going to be freaking miserable.

I was in an outlet store yesterday and tried on a beautiful pair of skinny grey jeans. They were soft and luxurious. I thought they were only £29 but then I saw they were £50. Hung them back up and left the shop. I have just lost all my baby weight ( I put on 3 stone - it is now all gone and I am back to my not al size so I am desperate to buy some new clothes and now can't afford any) I need a tiny violin to play for me somewhere as I feel so pathetic.

I just need to rant about this really and I have moaned to real life friends but they might get sick of me droaning on about how broke we are

I didn't fancy being an employer. And you can't use the 30 hours which he gets in 6 months so I would have to make her redundant then.

do toddlers really need swimming lessons these days???

Just keep in your mind the year your youngest starts full time school, you will feel so rich!

Don't bet on it. Holiday clubs/childcare can be so expensive that it can wipe out the balance.

I ended up giving up work when my (then) youngest started school as the pre and post school care options around here are so shit.
Once the youngest hits high school is when it changes around here.

Don't worry -no intention of quitting work. In fact I am studying right now for further quals so when I leave the military in 2 .5 years i can find another job

Good grief some of these comments are unbelievable! Yes, looking at you Julia

YANBU OP it's horrific!

I swear I'm not Xenia but I'm going to say it (although not in the unpleasant goady way she always used to):

The very best thing you could to would be to Lean In (eyeroll) and go for a raise. Seriously. Try to earn more, not less. That's the only way to make this easier. See if anyone's recruiting right now - even if you don't want to move, you could leverage an offer into a raise where you are.

Otherwise it will at least get exponentially easier as they get older, if you don't want to go private.

Yet if you dont work you get given everything and more that us tax payers provide. Hats off to you.

I hate to break it to you, but it might not get hugely cheaper for a long time yet. 2x school age DC here at the childminder for four hours a day, four days a week and it costs me £1000 per month. That covers their breakfast & tea as well as actual care. They also do after school clubs which are £50 per month for one child & £80 for the other and that is on top of childcare as I need the childminder on standby in case the club is cancelled or something. Again, we can afford it but, when talking about having children, I hadn't appreciate how expensive it would be for so long.

The very best thing you could to would be to Lean In (eyeroll) and go for a raise. Seriously. Try to earn more, not less

YES YES YES. I tell people this constantly. Controlling and reducing costs is only ever part of the story. If you're out of bed and functioning, earn as much as you can. Know your worth.

Childcare costs are insane. As for pensioners having put into the pot, I doubt that many of today's pensioners paid over £600 a month in tax when they were working. Most of us are not net contributors to the state. If we only got back what we paid in there would be no point in having state provision at all.

I was actually promoted whilst on mat leave so earning the most I can right now.

As for comment on swim lessons - maybe not essential right now but I think the earlier that they are confident in the water the better plus to gives us something to do on a Saturday so I don't sit around getting annoyed that we can't afford to do anything!

Today 20:29Stillwishihadabs
Julia001 do you have dcs ? Were you able to " tighten your belt" for 7 years till youngest went to school then walk back in to a job t the same level, only more flexible

Julia probably didn't walk back into a 'same level job' but 'more flexible'. I didn't either. It's a sacrifice many of us mums end up making for our families because we can't bear to leave them with others for 45 plus hours per week or work for nothing. It's all personal choice I guess. I gave up what was to me a good career to spend just 2 years at home (working at something else from home just to bring some money in). I have been back at work over 4 years now and am still climbing up the career pole just to get back to the grade I was on. But I can wholeheartedly say Im glad I did it. Leaving toddlers at a nursery from 7'30am to after 6pm 5 days a week would be torture to me. It would be great for the OP to get some help with childcare (like the 30 hours), but I don't think the tax payer should be paying the lions share of her 2k a month so that she and her husband should continue with their well paid jobs.

It's all sacrifices one way or another. When my son was born, I had to go back to work pretty soon. He was in hospital 8 weeks (premature) and then I was back to work 5 weeks after he came home. My partner became a sahd As he had been made redundant and my earning potential was more. This was to be for a year max.

Almost 6 years later I am still the only wage earner, renting in outer London and supporting through many ways my stepchildren. Being skint is a way of life!!

My partner quite quickly fell out of the job market because skills in IT move so quickly. And there have been mental health issues.

So his earnings have quickly dropped off to the point where childcare would've taken more than he could earn.

Conclusion is that childcare is essential in some areas if you want to have a life where you are not worrying whether you can afford fresh milk and veggies at the end of the month. And the prospect of being able to afford those things that make life more enjoyable. Meals out, clothes without worrying. Holidays. I haven't been on a proper one for over six years!!

And I missed out on being a mother to my son when he was a baby. However, I have come to terms with that. The alternative was homelessness

And to save money we pulled outer toddler out of nursery when I went on maternity so we have saved on childcare for a year. Kept paying into vouchers though so happy we have one and half months worth of nursery payment saved . Maybe I should skip back to the outlet and get the skinny jeans?

We are lucky to have some savings and I know when my mum comes over at xmas she will try and pay for all the food. Saving my top cash back money for that. I also have a pot of loose money. Was £50 in it last xmas and anything we have on PayPal. Going to do a car boot with all the baby toys. I did say to my husband that our savings are for a rainy day and if he would look outside he would see it is pouring lol. He hates dipping into them but they are all in my accounts

15 years ago!!!! - in London one child in the nursery was £56/day, I had twins so £2352 a month - so returning to work never happened. Mums I speak to who kept working went into debt to keep their careers!

I know the costs will still be high when they are in school but my mum is about to retire from teaching and has always been keen to stay with us over the summer to help out and my i laws live 10 mins away and they are young , healthy and retired so are happy to help out in holidays aswell. They just can't provide regular childcare as they go away quite a lot on holiday. So they take the kids ad hoc for a day here and there. Still pay the childcare provider!

Sympathies for you here.

Our childcare fees our mortgage by some margin.

Why is it the mums who go into debbt? Why isn't it the family?

No one should need to go into debt! State should provide or at the very least subsidise.

Sympathies OP. And Julia - piss off, frankly. I go back to work so I can provide a decent standard of living for my children at the same time as balancing their social needs and my own needs to ensure my career continues to provide for them in years to come.

You're damned if you do, damned if you don't. If we sit at home being stay at home parents scrimping and saving were accused of not trying hard enough to secure paid work and if we work and take our children to nursery we are criticised for allowing a qualified childcare workers the chance to own their own money by caring for our children. Seriously, sometimes this world is just fucked up

That is a lot!

I hate the comments like Julia's. Presumably your dh/dp didn't feel it was torture to skip out to work every day?

I have an exfriend who said this to me once. I had to bite my tongue at how much of a bore she had become since giving up her journalism and taking up sewing and drinking and 'being a full time mummy'

But I wfh a lot and my dc are 'only' in for 8 hours a day max 4 times a week. I never miss an important assembly or sports day or play.

And I get to earn good money and use my brain. It's a win win for me.

Why is it the mums who go into debbt? Why isn't it the family?
What I meant was that in the early years my working cost my friend's household money, they saw it as an important investment - at the time it sounded like hell on so many levels but they still have a career each so at least that's something.

Not RTFT but what's so bad a pencil left on the floor? Wouldn't have bothered me. Obviously you need to be happy with where you leave your kids, but make sure you are not dismissing the more affordable option out of hand.

If it makes you feel better I pay £1600 per month for my 3.5 year old for 4 days per week in Australia. I don't think I could afford another one in childcare at the same time. No free hours after 3 here either, and they don't start school until 5.5/6. We won't be able to get a mortgage until we are done with childcare

May - I wouldn't let my walking one year old walk around with a pencil at home. She falls down all the time. I think it is pretty self explanatory. She also puts everything in her mouth.