I need to have a rant about the cost of my childcare

[MGFM]

£2200 a freaking month!

This isn't a stealth boast about having enough money to pay out this much in childcare and I also want to say I feel lucky that I used to have plenty of disposable income and I feel lucky to have two wonderful children and I don't think the state should help me pay for their care (although I most certainly have signed up to the tax free child care) but oh my fucking god , I want to cry every time I think about it!

We will have enough left over for food and fuel and clothes when desperately needed and the odd treat but it is going to be freaking miserable.

I was in an outlet store yesterday and tried on a beautiful pair of skinny grey jeans. They were soft and luxurious. I thought they were only £29 but then I saw they were £50. Hung them back up and left the shop. I have just lost all my baby weight ( I put on 3 stone - it is now all gone and I am back to my not al size so I am desperate to buy some new clothes and now can't afford any) I need a tiny violin to play for me somewhere as I feel so pathetic.

I just need to rant about this really and I have moaned to real life friends but they might get sick of me droaning on about how broke we are

My granddaughter was at nursery three days a week. I had her one day ,other Nana another day and they were still paying over £700 a month.

Stillwishihadabs I do have DC's yes I did take a career break and yes we did tighten our belts, I felt that time with the dc's when they were little was far more important than working to pay for a nursery.

thegirl most excellent and helpful post

How much does the tax free scheme save you just now? I looked into it and whilst I think I would be better off just now, long term we're better staying in the voucher scheme.
we don't have ridiculously high salaries but do earn considerably more than 30k a year between us. We are comfortable off and have a pretty low mortgage compared to others. I don't think we could have paid that amount of childcare every month. Not long term anyway.
It's crazy

Joint income is 5400 a month. Out goings including food and fuel is 5000 a month.

Well Julia, in my case I suffered severe PND which was hugely alleviated by my going back to work 3 days a week. My DH could not have given up work as we could not have paid our mortgage off my salary alone no matter how much our belts were tightened.

My toddler loves nursery. He runs in every morning with a big smile.

Or should I, in your expert opinion, have compromised my mental health and therefore my son's happiness?

Do enlighten me.

YY OP - I completely sympathise. After having DD2 we worked out that because of similar childcare costs, I would basically earn enough to pay the nursery bill and run my (admittedly quite expensive) car. It wasn't worth it for the stress involved in getting everyone up and out in the morning, so I didn't go back to work - which was not the best option for me, I don't think, but was probably the best for the family. DD1 has started school now but we'd still be paying wraparound care and throughout the holidays, plus full time care for DD2 so still around 1700 per month when you average it out across the year.

My student loan will be paid off in April - that frees up 220 a month. And we have two 0% finance deals that also end next spring. One car loan and no other debt. Pretty big standard normal I think.

Some of the responses on here really fuck me. Off.

Always in these type of threads anyone dares to mention the difficulty or cost of working and loads of people jump on the OP with comments like 'you should have thought of that' of 'why have kids to put them in nursery' etc.

The economy relies on people working. We train for jobs and it makes no sense on the wider scale for (mainly ) women to be economically forced out of the workforce especially those who have had a lot of training. Imagine if all the trained GPs packed it in once they had kids.

We need to push government for legislation to encourage flexible working, for sensible working hours policies for subsidies on childcare for those who want to continue working. Your career shouldn't stall if you chose to have children and want to carry on working.

We won't be able to lobby for that if the default response of parents themselves is 'it's all your own problem'

Bog standard

I sympathise. We have had similar costs until this month as youngest is now in school. I comforted myself that quality child care should cost as the costs of running a nursery are high.

Prices as going up as the 30 hours free from the government is going to cripple many nurseries as the amount the government will pay won't be enough in a lot of cases for the nurseries to cover costs. To survive they have to find the money somewhere. It's a disgrace.

I hear you!! I've condensed my hours to 4 days to keep our costs down but I basically earn £80 a week for working a 40 hour week.
I don't know what the answer is but I'll be bloody pleased when we get the free hours.
I'm sick of feeling skint. Im tired of worrying about the car going wrong or other unexpected expenses.

joint income is 5400 a month

that leaves 3200 after childcare. I think this is a huge income. not sure what the issue is. most people would earn nowhere near that much before childcare,let alone after

that leaves 3200 after childcare. I think this is a huge income. not sure what the issue is. most people would earn nowhere near that much before childcare,let alone after

Huge? Hardly!

Is your joint income before or after tax?

MGFM our salary and outgoings were similar to yours. Salary of £6,500 pcm and outgoing of most of it tbh. Mortgage was £3k, childcare £1k etc. While the DC were very little we survived. Not much in the way of new clothes, weekend camping for holidays etc. You just have to stick with it and know that in a few years things will ease up.

Our DC are 11 and 7 and we are finally at the 2 holidays a year stage. Two weeks camping in France and a week in Portugal this year

Oh and why do people still berate mothers for going back to work ffs

That is a huge amount of money. Makes me want to jack in my job and look after kids but I guess childminders don't get paid that.

Please don't quit work, this is why women earn so much less than men and why so many single mothers and their children are hurt (yes hurt) by being raised in poverty.

Every year a women spends outside the workforce financially shafts her.

Not to come over all Xenia but the better you educate yourself and the higher you earn, the better your children's lives will be.

Wouldn't it be cheaper to get a nanny !
This shall pass once they attend school
Those skinny jeans will be yours again

Mortgage is 1000 a month. Bills are £1200. Council tax, sim only mobile phones, broadband. No tv package just prime and Netflix, gas and electric, life jnuranxe, car tax, not, insurance for two cars, one car payment, two things on 0% finance, to licence , swim lessons for toddler (bargain at £20 a month)

The cost of childcare isn't too high, the overall cost of living is and wages are too low.

That's not a huge income if you have other financial commitments - which you've committed to because you can afford them. A large mortgage, for example, or two season tickets to pay for, or student loans (as she explained up post) or massive pension contributions, or any of the other things that some people pay for? If you live in the south I can quite well see where a significant amount of that money goes.

House insurance , have I forgot anything?

Food is about £70 a week - with about £20 on top ups. Fuel is £200 a month

huge maybe for you, but it's all relative. our fixed coats are higher than that. yeah , yeah we chose that, I know

I think we must live in a cheaper part of the country to a lot of people on here because last year, when my dd was in full time nursery and ds was going to a childminder 5 days a week it cost about £760 a month. This is still a huge amount when you consider our rent is only £450.

Now that dd is in full time school I was hoping for a reduction in childcare fees but everything has gone tits up - our childminder suddenly retired and getting a new one is proving to be nigh on impossible because no-one seems to want to take on school-aged children. Instead of having more money, it's looking like me having to give up work altogether and I'm gutted.

It's annoying because the government bang on about people working and cutting benefits etc yet won't fund the childcare required for that to happen.