Things that you've thought that were in fact absurd

[Pacificplaza]

Inspired by another current thread: what things have you thought to yourself, and accepted as true, which on telling someone else have quickly transpired to be completely ridiculous?

E.g: I always thought that when drinking a hot beverage, that the misty effect observed should you happen to glance down into the cup was your EYEBALLS getting STEAMED UP in the manner of a pair of glasses. When I casually mentioned this at work everyone kindly pointed out that I was just... seeing the steam.

My car is an old banger with no air con, just the air blower. For my entire life until my ExDP corrected me, I thought you had to 'run' the hot air until it turned from cold to hot eventually in the same way you do the tap. Rather than just turn it on once the car's warmed up. The hours I must have spent grimly tolerating a stream of freezing air in winter .

I'm not normally a simpleton by the way, I've got degrees and stuff and mostly manage to function.

So please tell me I'm not alone!

My ds doubled over and eventually managed to tell me that passenger planes do not reverse! I seriously never knew this hmm

Huh? Surely passenger planes have to reverse in order to pull away from the gate?

Very recently, within the last year or 2, I heard on the news that someone put their head out of the window of a moving train and his head was decapitated by another train travelling the other direction. I was amazed and said 'Sister Veronica was right!'

It was a sign or signal I think, not another train, but she was right that it's a really bad idea to stick your head out of a moving train!

GoldenFlipFlop, I believe that Cards is correct. There's a tractor type vehicle which attaches to the downward strut of the front wheel and pushes the plane backwards. I gather it's a rather specialised job for the driver.

I love this thread! I'm learning loads of things (not going to admit exactly how many things I've just learned) :)

Oh, cross posted.
But look what happens when the pilot doesn't check the rear view mirror!

I told dd that haggis were very shy creatures which lived in mountainous regions in Scotland. Sadly, someone mil disabused her quite quickly.

Maisie Totes
And Dozy Totes,
And Liddle Lamsy Tivy.
A kiddley Tivy too
Wouldn't you?

He calf was definitely being born, my mum must have told me the farmer had his hand up the cows bottom. To be fair I couldn't stomach too much of it I a funny turn and had to go outside.

I tell the children it's illegal to drive with the light on in the car.

When I was very little I thought traffic lights were controlled by people who were monitoring intersections and sitting in front of a switchboard full of buttons. I only found out I was wrong when I said to my DF in a very impressed voice that it must be awfully hard to co-ordinate everything.

The car heater thing...
It works on engine heat, so if your car is cold (just set off) there isn't a lot of heat to divert off the engine to your feet (or wherever you want warming).
If your heater blows cold once the car is warm, you probably have a busted radiator... (Or good air conditioning!!!)

Me:
I tucked up my teddies in bed and was disappointed that they were still cold when I checked on them later. Lightbulb moment that it was my own body heat getting trapped under the duvet that got me warm.

Was never sure what "low level lighting" meant in the event of a plane crash, was it on the floor or just a bit dim? Jet2 now say "floor level lighting".

Thought a local anesthetic was one you had at the doctor / dentist in the village...

You don't put a fire out with water?😳

In my early 20s, I saw a model of the Starship Enterprise in the Science Museum and thought it was real. I couldn't believe that I hadn't heard about huge scientific advances like being able to travel faster than the speed of light. In my defence, the interpretation made it sounds as if it were real. I'd never watched Star Trek in my life! A friend had to point out to me that it was fictional.

You don't put an electrical or oil fire out with water, Ophelia.

@Lancelottie oh 😳 how do you if you don't have a fire extinguisher?

GoldenFlipFlop

My ds isn't an 'arrogant little tick' (good job you said tick) who needs a 'good dose of Victorian parenting' thank you

He was just surprised that I hadn't realised that planes are towed out by tugs (for safety reasons mainly).. Clearly you didnt know this either so I guess you've learnt something today too.

Re Fallopian tubes I really thought the tubes were actually tubes!

@Oscha - they are tubes; They are roughly 10cm long and about

I thought petrol was black.

More embarrassingly I thought that sein fein (however you spell it) was the guy in glasses (Gerry Adams I since learnt) and that he was the leader of the IRA. This one is actually quite recent!

My favourite was that if you swallowed chewing gum, it would twist around your insides and you'd die. I still struggle to swallow the stuff now, even though I know that's ridiculous!

Adding to the recurring cow theme, I always thought they HAD to be milked and constantly produced it - only recently realised that like us and other mammals, they only produce milk for their babies and are sadly kept constantly pregnant until they can't prouduce any more

Opheliasgoldenwine Tue 19-Sep-17 12:46:49
@Lancelottie oh 😳 how do you if you don't have a fire extinguisher?

With a blanket, I'd assume?

The one I remover believing was that the yolk of an egg was an unfertilised chick. Which of course, it isn't!

GingerGenuis, is it not? I thought that was what it was!! (Shit you wouldn't believe im degree educated!)

I grew up attending church. Until I was about 20, I chanted "Thanks Peter God" after prayers etc., rather than "Thanks be to God". I always wondered who this Peter God fella was...

Yes, sorry, I wasn't clear-I mean I thought the tubes were vital for getting the egg into the right place-but clearly not if it can get there without them!

Redsippycup my legs are now attempting a double knot!

DadDadDad

^PennyLane - the Earth has a crust which is several miles thick surrounding the molten mantle etc that you are talking about it. It's made up of solid rock - you see it on land, things like mountains and the bedrock under your feet, and that continues under the sea (there are mountains and rocks at the bottom of the oceans).

So, just as you can create a tunnel on land by boring through a mountain, you can create a tunnel under the seabed by boring through the rock. The hot magma is far, far below that^

Thank you. I thought the crust was only about half a mile thick