Things that you've thought that were in fact absurd

[Pacificplaza]

Inspired by another current thread: what things have you thought to yourself, and accepted as true, which on telling someone else have quickly transpired to be completely ridiculous?

E.g: I always thought that when drinking a hot beverage, that the misty effect observed should you happen to glance down into the cup was your EYEBALLS getting STEAMED UP in the manner of a pair of glasses. When I casually mentioned this at work everyone kindly pointed out that I was just... seeing the steam.

My car is an old banger with no air con, just the air blower. For my entire life until my ExDP corrected me, I thought you had to 'run' the hot air until it turned from cold to hot eventually in the same way you do the tap. Rather than just turn it on once the car's warmed up. The hours I must have spent grimly tolerating a stream of freezing air in winter .

I'm not normally a simpleton by the way, I've got degrees and stuff and mostly manage to function.

So please tell me I'm not alone!

Here is a plane pushback from a stand

I had a boyfriend who flew Airbuses - there's no way he would have reversed it out like a car!!

Years ago when DD1, (now 26) was a newborn I went shopping for formula with my friend

I was the first one to have kids, and you used to get the formula either with a pink lid or blue lid (first milk and older baby)

She asked why there was different colours, I told her it was pink milk for a girl and blue for a boy

It was just a bit of fun, but she believed it for years, until she had her first

I used to think reindeer were fictional until my twenties. I think it was the association with Father Christmas...

"BackieJerkhart Tue 19-Sep-17 16:52:52
Oh hang on. We would. blush woudnt we? confused

How? "

Because if the finish was staggered the winner would still be whoever went over the line first.

I love these threads on MN - I always learn something. Must confess to Majorca/ Mallorca ignorance In my (not very good) defence I have never been there.

My two favourites on this thread are
Cumbria my Lord, Cumbria
And Mr Sinn Fein

My dad convinced me and I believed for years that black pudding came from black pigs just as regular sausage comes from pink ones.

MacTweedy we let our land on a seasonal 'grazing licence'. Once the ewes have lambed on the shepherd's own land they are brought here with their lambs to graze for the summer. The ewes then return to winter on the shepherd's land. The boy lambs all go to market but some of the girls are kept for breeding. My point is that they are transported by road but not all the journeys are their final ones!

I told my sister oral sex was talking about it. And for years I thought SAN pro dispensers in loos were tissue dispensing lachines

How? confused

I'm guessing it would be whoever crossed their line first.

American TV programmes somehow left me with the idea Americans didn't have "real" jobs. They just looked gorgeous and had fabulous jobs that they didn't really have to spend a lot of time at, huge houses and made loads of money. Then I got there, had a house with a tiny kitchen, everyone wore jeans and tee shirts, and my next door neighbour worked in a supermarket, I was a little surprised...

Sooooo - vet artificially inseminating cow. One hand up cow's bottom, one hand up her foof. What happens if you get an itchy nose?

I suppose Sinn Fein does sound a bit like an Irish name to non Irish people. A bit like Shea Feeney or something

What happens if you get an itchy nose? grin

That's why cows have tails

That beavers built all dams looking back I should have known there was some human involvement in the Hoover dam.

"What happens if you get an itchy nose? " Rub your itchy nose on the cow's rear - I'm sure James Herriott et al must have done it numerous times?!

My nana thought you had to be utterly silent when video recording a tv show. She once went ballistic at me and my cousin for 'talking all over her programme'.

Fru . Not sure I'd want to scratch my nose on a cow's nethers. Poor vets!

I was just thinking about the cow's upper rump. Surely must be OK?!

Ah! I see what you mean.

I also thought it was illegal to drive with the interior light on

You mean it isn't?

If you cannot resist scratching an itchy nose, being an astronaut is not for you.

This can't be the end! I also thought mince pies contained mince meat and turned them down saying 'no thanks, I'm veggie'. Also constantly mixed up forwards and backs in rugby because of scrums. Since you would 'put your back in to it'.
I'm sure I had plenty more that I can't think of have blocked out.

"If you cannot resist scratching an itchy nose, being an astronaut is not for you."

How in god's name does being a vet (or farmer) who is helping a cow to give birth suddenly turn you into an astronaut?

Laughing my head off! You're all doomed

We have cattle and my husband puts his arm up cows bum to preg-check. He palpates the uterus to see if there’s a calf in there. A fertilized egg would be too small to feel. We preg-check in the fall when the cow would be a few months along.

Farmers generally sell the open cows instead of feeding them through the winter.

When a cow is in trouble calving, a hand goes up the vagina to sort the calf out, maybe to pull a leg forward or turn the nose if the heads back etc, that is if it’s not breech.